How To: Submissive BDSM Play For One...

[InnerDarkness]

Okay...I got to thinking about this today....literally while I was having my way with myself *snicker*

In the movie Secretary, our lovely little sub finds herself trying to reach that same little sub-space with a paddle (or was it a hairbrush)....spanking herself in the bathroom....and obviously failing to achieve the same effect that Mr. Grey did when he spanked her ass in the office...

For those of you who are separated most of the time (or all of the time) from your Dominant partner...are you able to replicate any of your "in person" experiences? Assuming you have been given permission to explore yourself and your pleasure at that point, is there anything that anyone does to make the experience more than just having an orgasm?

I shall share....

Today I laid on my back in the bed.....visions of my Sir vivid in my mind...I touched myself here and there...softly, probing, teasing...and then occassionally would smack my outer pussy lips....i pinched my clit once or twice and smacked at myself a number of times, but ultimately just gave up and went about my business the usual way ending with a nice orgasm, but of course....not really feeling anything special.

How can a sub have BDSM play for one? Any thoughts?

 

[Krinaia]

It's not exactly Masturbation ... but I do love phonesex. It makes masturbating so much better to have a harsh voice whispering in your ear where to touch, how fast, how hard and then to suddenly demand "Cumnow, Cum." Yummy.

But I'll admit to trying to enter that same sort of subspace while masturbating and being unable to achieve that level of mindless orgasm without a dominant there to push me.

 

[MissTaken]

I seldom cum to climax or achieve any form of subspace without the involvement of another.

Maybe I am wired a bit differently than the average gal?

 

[InnerDarkness]

I seldom cum to climax or achieve any form of subspace without the involvement of another.

Maybe I am wired a bit differently than the average gal?

I dunno, but I cant figure out how to achieve it either, so that's why I brought it up here...

I can masturbate to orgasm the regular ole way just fine, but there are some days where I would give anything to feel his hand slapping against my skin...and when he is 20 hours away, there isnt anything I can do about it but dream....

I was hoping someone out there might have achieved this...perhaps it isnt possible?

 

[WriterDom]

I've had subs spank their pussy or ass over the phone. Make them count them and repeat the ones that weren't loud enough. A hairbrush might be even more fun.

 

[niteshade]

Honestly, I can hardly ever get myself off. It is very hard for me to orgasm anyway, but it is even worse if I am just playing by myself. And I am just talking straight masturbation, nevermind trying to pull my own hair!

 

[bunny bondage]

i have no problems getting myself off the regular way of rubbin' the nubbin. but when it comes to bdsm'ing alone, i have no ideas. nothing really does it for me like someone else, i guess!

 

[Krinaia]

niteshade ... i'm curious, you say you have trouble orgasming period. I on the other hand, come quickly and easily. It almost worries me how quickly I become so animalistic. Not everytime of course, but often enough. Am I just gifted/cursed ? (depending on how you look at it) I have a girlfriend or two that have trouble orgasming. I have that can only orgasm from masturbation, one that can't orgasm from masturbation. Is it a mental thing or a physical thing? I only ask you because perhaps you can answer the question I cannot. I'm not sure why it comes more easily to some than to others.

sometimes, I worry I am too much. Lol. Silly me. I'm sure I'm worried about nothing.

 

[niteshade]

niteshade ... i'm curious, you say you have trouble orgasming period. I on the other hand, come quickly and easily. It almost worries me how quickly I become so animalistic. Not everytime of course, but often enough. Am I just gifted/cursed ? (depending on how you look at it) I have a girlfriend or two that have trouble orgasming. I have that can only orgasm from masturbation, one that can't orgasm from masturbation. Is it a mental thing or a physical thing? I only ask you because perhaps you can answer the question I cannot. I'm not sure why it comes more easily to some than to others.

sometimes, I worry I am too much. Lol. Silly me. I'm sure I'm worried about nothing.

Girl, I would say that if you can orgasm easily, more power to you. I myself seem to usually be suspended in a sea of never ending torment. Don't get me wrong... it feels good... but I would really love to be able to cum more easily. I think it really is more a mental thing than anything else for me. I seem to just not be able to let go, to loose myself that last final amount, and believe me, I wish I was able to give up the control.

N is very good at forcing me over the edge, but it takes quite a bit of work on his part. Actually, he seems to take delight in the fact that he can play with me for hours without me being able to cum, and then screaming when I do.

While I enjoy sex, and it feels good, I do not cum most times, and had only cum once in my life before I met N.

Oh, and btw... I become pretty animalistic myself... I just don't become all that orgasmic

 

[Krinaia]

I seem to just not be able to let go, to loose myself that last final amount, and believe me, I wish I was able to give up the control.

....

Oh, and btw... I become pretty animalistic myself... I just don't become all that orgasmic

It would be interesting to switch for a day. The orgasms aren't always mind boggling, though they often can be with the right sorts of persuasions I think perhaps, when i expressed some concern/discomfort over being able to orgasm easily, I was really expressing concern over being so animalistic. It takes awhile perhaps to feel alright with the fact that you're a sex kitten! Or in some cases, sexpot.

 

[InnerDarkness]

I find orgasm to be difficult to achieve for myself many times as well....but i think it is some kind of "conditioning" from repeated and unvaried stimulation. I am just beginning to learn new ways of stimulating myself...or being stimulated, but sometimes I just find it very hard to allow myself to go over the edge...even when I am alone and there is no "pressure" for it to happen.

I find orgasms for me to be completely different when I am alone versus when I am with Sir...or anyone for that matter....

I hope that I can learn to be more open to stimuli at some point and be able to achieve different kinds of orgasms, but I find when I am doing it alone in the absence of Sir...it tends to be the same ole, same ole...

 

[Seattle Zack]

I remember a little subbie I first met when I began this voyage many years ago ... she was very much into self-bondage. A newbie at the time, I had never even heard of it (you don't realize how tame some of your perversions are until you start meeting other people in the lifestyle).

She liked to handcuff or chain herself up in awkward positions for hours. She used the old key-frozen-in-the-ice trick; fill a little milk carton with water, suspend the key inside, and freeze it overnight. She'd chain herself up in the living room, unable to release herself until the key thawed in about two or three hours.

It was very powerful for her; she could actually climax, without any direct stimulation, just from the helplessness and frustration of her situation. She never used a safe call or anything like that; looking back, I can see now how it might have gotten rather dangerous for her.

She had a lot of "damsel in distress" fantasies. When we would play, I would tease her with the key, leaving it on the floor and letting her squirm and inch her way towards it, only to remove it at the last minute. It was a marvel to watch now excited she got at the restraint.

--Zack

There's actually a company, Timecuffs, that specializes in this fetish. They seem pretty expensive for what they do, but their products are listed at the link above.