how to start

[robotxxx]

I'm interested in bdsm but don't know where to start exploring this whole new world

could anyone give suggestions on how to start
I know I'd like to be submissive and am very much into bondage, whips, candles, clamps etc

 

[chris9]

Hi.

There is not the one and only way to get started, no 'beginners' classes' that are obligatory to take. There are several ways and you can combine them however you want.
What's very advisable is to learn as much as possible to find out what exactly you're interested in and how to do whatever your interested in in a safe way. For this you can look into the library here, do a search on the internet, read books (maybe someone will chime in with some suggestions). If you come across something you don't understand, ask in the forum, most of us won't bite.
You can go down to the sexual role-playing board and get involved in a role-play where you assume the role of submissive and try it out this way.
You can look for a play partner or long-term relationship here in the BDSM Personals, and on many other sites dedicated to BDSM partner search (e.g. bondage.com, collarme.com)
These are ways to get started that don't involve any others in real life.

You can also find a local BDSM group (a search on the internet should give you some close to you). In general these groups have munches, a gathering to be social with each other in 'normal' surroundings (like restaurants) and play parties. Contact your local group and find out about the things they do. Often they have demos and stuff, where you can learn more about BDSM.

Good luck and enjoy the journey.

 

[myinnerslut]

Hi.

There is not the one and only way to get started, no 'beginners' classes' that are obligatory to take. There are several ways and you can combine them however you want.
What's very advisable is to learn as much as possible to find out what exactly you're interested in and how to do whatever your interested in in a safe way. For this you can look into the library here, do a search on the internet, read books (maybe someone will chime in with some suggestions). If you come across something you don't understand, ask in the forum, most of us won't bite.
You can go down to the sexual role-playing board and get involved in a role-play where you assume the role of submissive and try it out this way.
You can look for a play partner or long-term relationship here in the BDSM Personals, and on many other sites dedicated to BDSM partner search (e.g. bondage.com, collarme.com)
These are ways to get started that don't involve any others in real life.

You can also find a local BDSM group (a search on the internet should give you some close to you). In general these groups have munches, a gathering to be social with each other in 'normal' surroundings (like restaurants) and play parties. Contact your local group and find out about the things they do. Often they have demos and stuff, where you can learn more about BDSM.

Good luck and enjoy the journey.

everything she said

readand research a lot of stuff, internet has some good sources and there are several good book titles (that i hope someone can post becuase i am no good with remebering titles) that would be good places to start.

dont be afraid to ask questions

 

[robotxxx]

and going to a dominatrix or something
would anyone recommend that?

 

[FurryFury]

Are you single Robotxxx?

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

If you are single, I'd say go for it. If you are married well, that would be a different story.

Cheers to you and your journey of exploration!

Fury

 

[robotxxx]

I'm single and wanna go for it!!

 

[liberatedslave]

You already have a personal ad and I like that you have a genuine picture in your profile. I do think that your profile could be elaborated on a little bit in the interest of selling yourself. As you're in the Netherlands and this site has mostly U.S. subscribers I'd recommend widening your catchment area by advertising on more than one site if you're not already doing so. Is there a BDSM site catering solely for the people of your country?

I never thought I'd meet a suitable dominant in my quiet corner of Kent but I first bumped into my Sir in the Chatroom here (go to the home screen and select erotic chat, you'll need to do another username and password) so that's also worth a visit as dominant ladies hang out there.

If you're looking for real life submission rather than online you may have a bit of a search in front of you but I'm sure it'll be worth it. Good luck

 

[Stegral]

Someone wanted a book???
Screw the roses, send the thorns is an awesome book.

I found a local group that is helping me on my journey by reading a local "free press" paper that caters to alternative lifestyles of all kinds.
I went to a fetish ball, talked to some people, kept in touch with a few, researched & read & explored. One of the people from the fetish ball is a moderator of the group & suggested I join to explore a bit more & he didn't take advantage of my newness & promptly collar me, rather he gave me a few book titles, a few links & intro'd me to a whole new group of friends

if you are going to a dominatrix be sure she asks questions, sets limits, uses safewords & listens to YOUR needs.

I prefer the label "bottom" actually as I am happily single & exploring at my own pace

http://www.withinreality.com/questions.html

http://www.castlerealm.com/tours.shtml

http://www.deviantdesires.com/index2.html

http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/organizations10.html

http://gloria-brame.com/

http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html

hope some of these help

 

[FurryFury]

I'm single and wanna go for it!!

Then I think you should Sugah. I wish you well. You seem like a nice boy with some fine looks as well. If I were a Domme I'd give you a hit or more!

Good luck!

Fury

 

[robotxxx]

Then I think you should Sugah. I wish you well. You seem like a nice boy with some fine looks as well. If I were a Domme I'd give you a hit or more!

Good luck!

Fury

thank you miss, that's really nice of you to say

 

[Domsheena]

New as well

I'm interested in bdsm but don't know where to start exploring this whole new world

could anyone give suggestions on how to start
I know I'd like to be submissive and am very much into bondage, whips, candles, clamps etc

Hi Robotxxx,

Like you I am new to the BDSM world. I have looked into it and i am a Domme. I live in Spain and have found a BDSM group that meets once a month. I have also found a sub, although doesn´t live near me, and we shall meet there. I find that getting to know the person you will be interacting with is a good way of finding out about them and what they are into. If you are like me well it´s a bit nerverwrecking but i am sure all worth it in the end. I wish you luck in your journey as well. Domsheena

 

[shyybabe]

Someone wanted a book???
Screw the roses, send the thorns is an awesome book.

I found a local group that is helping me on my journey by reading a local "free press" paper that caters to alternative lifestyles of all kinds.
I went to a fetish ball, talked to some people, kept in touch with a few, researched & read & explored. One of the people from the fetish ball is a moderator of the group & suggested I join to explore a bit more & he didn't take advantage of my newness & promptly collar me, rather he gave me a few book titles, a few links & intro'd me to a whole new group of friends

if you are going to a dominatrix be sure she asks questions, sets limits, uses safewords & listens to YOUR needs.

I prefer the label "bottom" actually as I am happily single & exploring at my own pace

http://www.withinreality.com/questions.html

http://www.castlerealm.com/tours.shtml

http://www.deviantdesires.com/index2.html

http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/organizations10.html

http://gloria-brame.com/

http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html

hope some of these help

As a beginner on the journey these are awesome links. Thanks Stegral. I might ask more questions privately being in your neck of the woods.

 

[wistfulone]

As a beginner on the journey these are awesome links. Thanks Stegral. I might ask more questions privately being in your neck of the woods.

I agree, I'll have to check these links out too!

 

[Domsheena]

Someone wanted a book???
Screw the roses, send the thorns is an awesome book.

I found a local group that is helping me on my journey by reading a local "free press" paper that caters to alternative lifestyles of all kinds.
I went to a fetish ball, talked to some people, kept in touch with a few, researched & read & explored. One of the people from the fetish ball is a moderator of the group & suggested I join to explore a bit more & he didn't take advantage of my newness & promptly collar me, rather he gave me a few book titles, a few links & intro'd me to a whole new group of friends

if you are going to a dominatrix be sure she asks questions, sets limits, uses safewords & listens to YOUR needs.

I prefer the label "bottom" actually as I am happily single & exploring at my own pace

http://www.withinreality.com/questions.html

http://www.castlerealm.com/tours.shtml

http://www.deviantdesires.com/index2.html

http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/organizations10.html

http://gloria-brame.com/

http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html

hope some of these help

I´d like to thank you Stegral. I´ve found that one of your links is perfect for me since i am new to all this. Has loads of questions and asnwers. Thanks again

 

[Stegral]

Thanks Domsheena, Wistfulone & Shyybabe.

I was given those sites from the group I am in & they have helped me to learn alot more than I would have found myself. I like to help people grow & am an elder in a pagan group as well Knowledge is a great thing as long as you have a wide array of information to glean from & make your OWN choices
I learned that I DO NOT like flogging or whips, but I do enjoy warturburg(S?) wheels (click here) to a GREAT degree.
Tonight I was at a "play party".
I started with one of the Domme's with the wheels along my back & neck, I was in another place I usually only find during oral sex... then I learned that I can overcome my fear of being tied up for about 5 minutes... one of the Dom's is RIGHT INTO rope play & has been asking to tie me up. I agreed to my WRISTS ONLY, in front & for a short time so he put on an easily undoable weave around my crossed hands & allowed me to walk around & chat to try & relieve some of the unease I was feeling as he kept a close eye on me to be sure I wouldn't panic. When I asked he PROMPTLY removed the rope & I was ok, maybe next time I will trust him for a bit longer or something more intricate. I was just in a mood to play.

 

[shyybabe]

Thanks Domsheena, Wistfulone & Shyybabe.

I was given those sites from the group I am in & they have helped me to learn alot more than I would have found myself. I like to help people grow & am an elder in a pagan group as well Knowledge is a great thing as long as you have a wide array of information to glean from & make your OWN choices
I learned that I DO NOT like flogging or whips, but I do enjoy warturburg(S?) wheels (click here) to a GREAT degree.
Tonight I was at a "play party".
I started with one of the Domme's with the wheels along my back & neck, I was in another place I usually only find during oral sex... then I learned that I can overcome my fear of being tied up for about 5 minutes... one of the Dom's is RIGHT INTO rope play & has been asking to tie me up. I agreed to my WRISTS ONLY, in front & for a short time so he put on an easily undoable weave around my crossed hands & allowed me to walk around & chat to try & relieve some of the unease I was feeling as he kept a close eye on me to be sure I wouldn't panic. When I asked he PROMPTLY removed the rope & I was ok, maybe next time I will trust him for a bit longer or something more intricate. I was just in a mood to play.

Thanks for the info. It sounds like you've found a very safe group to explore and learn with. Lots of info to digest here. It reminds me of how excited I would get asking my mom if I could go out and play.

 

[SensualMan_in_PA]

Thanks. As a new and learning Dom, I found http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html to be especially helpful.