How to Speak like the British:

[Basia]

A Guide for the Anglo-Linguistically Challenged.

I got this in school a while ago, and when I got home tonight it poped into my head, so I thought I would share it with all of you. Any of you Brits who wish to add anything, feel free.

A Pint- a beer served in a pint glass, you would ask for this when you would go into a pub, usually served from the "draught" (tap).

Arse- Pronounced AR-SS, very similar to the American version of "ass" just spelt differently. It can be used in all sorts of situations, but mainly includes when something is second rate, pathetic, or crappy by comparison.
Example- You could say that one TV show is a "pile of arse" (could someone please explain what the hell a "pile of arse" is... I have dirty pictures floating through my mind here) compaired to another, ie. "Telly Tubbies" compaired to "The Simpsons".

Other words which are similar are "pants" or even "bollocks", ie "a pile of pants/bollocks".

Bollocks- Pronunced BOH-LUCKS, like ther first syllable in ball for the BOH part. It means "balls" basically and you use it when something has gone wrong and to want to shout something out.
Example- Your late for something, run out of your room, down the stairs and realize you have left your keys on the table back in your room, then you would shout "Bollocks!".

Other words you could use include "bugger" pronunced "bugga". Bugger is also a derivative of buggery, so you could say "bugger me!". Which leads on to the next word as "bugger me" is usually said in shock, equivalent to "Fuck me!"

Bloody- Very
Example- Bloody hot, bloody cold, etc.

Bust'a slash- pee (I love that one. I find myself saying it alot.)

Canteen- Cafeteria

Cheerio- Goodbye

Cheers- means thank you, but can also be used when drinking.

Crinkey- Pronunced CRYN-KEY, you would say it when you are shocked at something. You could also say things like "blimey!" and "Bloody Hell!"

Cuppa- Cup of Tea

Fancy- like or want
Example- I'd fancy a shagging right about now

Football- Soccer (But we all know REAL foot ball is played here! US<clap clap clap>!)

Give a ring- call someone on the phone.

Jam- Jelly

Jumper- Sweater

Knock on- This means your going to a house and collect somebody to go out somewhere.
Example- I will knock on you later.

Knock your block off- punch someone in the head

Indicators- Blinkers

Lift- Elevator.

Marmalade- Jam

Nackered- exausted or broken
Example- I have nackered my hand, car, etc.

Pavement- Sidewalk

Pelican crossing- cross walk

Pissed- Drunk

Roundabout- rotary

Shagging- Self explanatory

Shite- Shit

Slapper- Slut

Snogging- Pronounced SNOH-GING, it means making out with someone.

Tea- The drink, and in Great Britain it is also used for the term "dinner".
Example- For tea I had a burger.

Telly- Television set.

Trainers- Sneakers

Trousers- Pants

Wanker- Idiot

Well- Wicked
Example- Today was well hot.

Well, that's all I have for you. Cheerio!

 

[phrodeau]

A banger is a sausage.
Black pudding is a sausage, too.
To be in the Pudding Club is to be pregnant.
Which results from having a bang.

 

[claude_moveml]

don't give me no razzamatazz on the wicker basket boy = calm down, you having a laugh or what?

 

[claude_moveml]

squash = juice concentrate

 

[Siren]

 

[Myrrdin]

'Ow ter tork like wot we does

 

[Bindii]

Am I ek?

 

[marc_001]

Hi All, anyone online at the moment!!!
You won't to speak british. Out of all accents, its not the cuttest. And aside from that, which type of british accent to you want? Its kind of varied.

Hmm, I stick to something sexier! (and that wouldn't be Texan!)

 

[Cotedebeaune]

Point of order

Not knocking your thread, but 'nackered' is spelt with a "k".

 

[Bindii]

Hi All, anyone online at the moment!!!
You won't to speak british. Out of all accents, its not the cuttest. And aside from that, which type of british accent to you want? Its kind of varied.

Hmm, I stick to something sexier! (and that wouldn't be Texan!)

There are currently 89 members and 34 guests on the boards - its one the Main Literotica Forums page.

Your right there are so many different accents in England.

 

[Demian]

This iz a Thread made for Madonna

She'z from Detroit, then started tawkin like she wuz from New Yawk

Now she tries to sound like she's from England

Rather

 

[p_p_man]

Re: Point of order

Not knocking your thread, but 'nackered' is spelt with a "k".

and we don't say a pile of arse...

pile (or load) of shit is OK though or...

a load of bollocks.

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Re: Point of order

and we don't say a pile of arse...

pile (or load) of shit is OK though or...

a load of bollocks.

Nor do we say bust'a slash. If anything it's bursting for a slash.

Its not crinkey it's crikey, and very few people even say it now.

 

[claude_moveml]

I say crikey all the time. And cor blimey.

 

[bluespoke]

I say crikey all the time. And cor blimey.

What a strange man!

 

[juicylips]

I love the different phrases and such.

My favorite word to hear being said in that perfect polished accent is....my name.

Although..let me fuck you...ranks right up there too.

JL

 

[District Line]

Basia, some of the things you put need a little amending but generally your research was good.

You might want to know about 'keep your pecker up.'

This may sound funny to Americam ears but the word pecker in this phrase refers to beaks. As birds might peck at food with their beaks.

So in Britain this means keep your chin up, or keep smiling, or cheer up don't feel too bad. That kind of thing.

 

[tin_tinr]

crap slang term for shit example
most of what basia said is crap

 

[wizbit9]

i think to totally understand british language you should watcher the british locketts adver (damm good philly) (u.k posters should frmrmber this one)

 

[bluespoke]

i think to totally understand british language you should watcher the british locketts adver (damm good philly) (u.k posters should frmrmber this one)

We might if you were speaking English!

 

[wizbit9]

i think to totally understand british language you should watch the british locketts advert (damm good philly) (u.k posters should remember this one)

sorry. but you remember the advert yes hahahaha

 

[DannyBoyUK]

Siren..........it can only take one post to stop liking a fellow lawyer....


<s>

 

[bluespoke]

Siren..........it can only take one post to stop liking a fellow lawyer....


<s>

Danny

If Miles calls you a wanker, get annoyed.
If Marxist calls you a wanker get annoyed.
If Yayati calls you a wanker get annoyed.
If REDWAVE calls you a wanker get even!

If Siren calls you a wanker be pleased that she likes you!

 

[Ukin]

I love the different phrases and such.

My favorite word to hear being said in that perfect polished accent is....my name.

Although..let me fuck you...ranks right up there too.

JL

Said in MY best voice......."Juiceylips.....Let me fuck you "

 

[woodgie2]

Cheers- means thank you, but can also be used when drinking.

Is more a drinking salute used as a thank you.

Crinkey- Pronunced CRYN-KEY, you would say it when you are shocked at something. You could also say things like "blimey!" and "Bloody Hell!"

Crikey (Cry-kee)

Fancy- like or want
Example- I'd fancy a shagging right about now

See below...

Marmalade- Jam

A specific type made from bitter Seville oranges. So named after the French queen Mary who when ill liked it. Hence the name is a degredation of the French, "Marie malade" or Mary is ill. (OK, so that may be apocraphal)

Nackered- exausted or broken
Example- I have nackered my hand, car, etc.

Knackered (we love our silent letters... )

Shagging- Self explanatory

That is the verb, the noun is "A Shag". Now see above...

Shite- Shit

A personal bugbear of mine. "Shite" is just the pronunciation of "Shit" in an attempt to engender it with an air of feined politeness. It is not a spelling in it's own right, though it is becoming so.

Well- Wicked
Example- Today was well hot.

"Well" in that context means "Very"...