How to signal when gagged and tied up

[LearnerDom]

First time play with a new sub, after the usual discussions, she would like to be tied up and gagged\face fucked.

If her hands are tied behind her back and I am holding her head.
How can she signal if she is in real distress and wants me to stop?
Obviously I will be watching her very closely but its not going to be like she can say the safety word or tap me?

I'm thinking of shrugging shoulders and testing this before we begin in earnst

 

[silverwhisper]

there's a BDSM talk forum in which you might find quicker, more relevant answers. as someone who isn't a BDSMer, i haven't any idea. a shrug might however be very difficult to discern if you're intent on what you're doing, or if you're particularly vigorous doing so.

ed

 

[fire_breeze]

First time play with a new sub, after the usual discussions, she would like to be tied up and gagged\face fucked.

If her hands are tied behind her back and I am holding her head.
How can she signal if she is in real distress and wants me to stop?
Obviously I will be watching her very closely but its not going to be like she can say the safety word or tap me?

I'm thinking of shrugging shoulders and testing this before we begin in earnst

As Ed mentioned, you may wish to head over the BDSM section of the forum, where there are ample threads dedicated to safe words/actions/cards/brooms.

However, that said, you can have your partner hold a bell or something that would make a lot of noise. If she needs you to stop, she is to drop it and that indicates for you to stop now. Depending on the locale, those annoying little kitty balls could work, or you may need something such as bell with a handle that she can shake three times or something.

Another is she can blink a code, such S.O.S (.../---/... with the '.' being short blinks, the '-' being long) to indicate her safe word.

These are just two suggestions, though the BDSM crowd may have more. Have fun and play safe

 

[LallyH]

A good suggestion made by Stella a while ago was to have the sub have a set of keys in the hand which are dropped to call a halt.

 

[Malich]

I have an old, heavy brass weight in my kit bag for someone I am playing with to hold, just in case I miss the signals that I'm pushing them too close to the edge.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Tie a piece of string to your balls and give her the other end to hold. If she gets to the point of needing to tug it, you are failing to observe her reactions properly!

 

[DVS]

Tie a piece of string to your balls and give her the other end to hold. If she gets to the point of needing to tug it, you are failing to observe her reactions properly!

That sounds a bit like topping from the bottom. Even so, nothing I would EVER think about doing. LOL.

You seem to have a mean streak in you.

 

[DVS]

A good suggestion made by Stella a while ago was to have the sub have a set of keys in the hand which are dropped to call a halt.

That could work, but what if the keys are landing on carpet, or if they land at just the same time a paddle swat or flogger land, too, or a loud moan or yelp? And if they are on their knees, that isn't very far for the keys to fall or make much noise. But, it does open up the possibilities.

 

[DVS]

I have an old, heavy brass weight in my kit bag for someone I am playing with to hold, just in case I miss the signals that I'm pushing them too close to the edge.

Have that weight land on something that would cause a crash or loud clanking sound. Still, anything where someone is holding something to drop, you are limited to that item landing on something that will produce a noise and you are limiting the person to being where that can happen. So, you have to think about what you are dropping, and what it is landing on. And is this item difficult to hold on to? Could they drop it unintentionally? Could they not drop it correctly and have it not produce the sound that alerts you of danger?

You almost have to be creative in what you have the sub hold and what it will land on to produce an audible sound loud enough or different enough from other sounds of the session to be noticed as an alert.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

That sounds a bit like topping from the bottom. Even so, nothing I would EVER think about doing. LOL.

You seem to have a mean streak in you.

I am a sadist!
I am sub to only one person, my owner and Master, and I rope Top and bottom, but I would probably identify as a sadomasochist switch, but I have little interest in controlling anyone for my pleasure.... just hurting them. (consensually of course!)

Ain't labels fun!!

 

[notalwaysweak]

I must not suggest biting as a safe gesture. I must not suggest biting as a safe gesture. I must not suggest biting as a safe gesture. I must not suggest biting as a safe gesture. I must not suggest biting as a safe gesture...

 

[MzChrista]

I don't use gags much as I really like the sound of screaming but I do have some experience with em.

Bells are not a good idea, IMO, because try to hold a bell for a while and not accidentally ring it. Now try while someone is whacking you on the ass or clamping your nipple.

You don't want your sub stressing over not ringing the bell. Or if you do, cool, but then you better have another safe word plan.

Dropping things that make noise, better idea, but depending like someone said, on where they fall, or what other noise is going on, easy to miss.

Best idea, I think is to have the sub hold a wadded up bright colored handkerchief in each hand. Dropping them is safe wording. They might accidentally drop one, but not both. And even in a dark room, you will see a white or yellow handkerchief.