How to prepare for your mammogram

[hisgypsy]

Okay, be honest. How many of us actually enjoy mammograms? None that I know of. And I'm sorry if I shouldn't post this here, but I wanted to share it.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!

Don't forget to have your mammogram!!

 

[IsabellaKing]

I think I was expecting this to be serious.
I've never had a mammogram...and now, I probably never will.

 

[hisgypsy]

I think I was expecting this to be serious.
I've never had a mammogram...and now, I probably never will.

Oh no! I'm sorry! They're really not that bad, but once you've had one you'll appreciate the humor.

 

[IsabellaKing]

This looks less painful

 

[gloriann]

In the last year, I've had more mammograms than most women my age, due to some abnormalities in my baseline. For me, it's honestly more of an inconvenience than any kind of pain, but that's just me. I'd still go even if it did hurt; my mom's a survivor, and the sooner they catch that stuff, the better. Gotta take responsibility for your own health!

 

[JustImagineMe]

Oh that was funny, I can definitely relate

To those who haven't had them, don't be put off. It's worth the couple of minutes discomfort

 

[hisgypsy]

Mammograms are so vitally important to all women and in spite of the above, I have never had more than a moment's discomfort. It is not painful at all, and so well worth the time.

A dear friend has breast cancer, and I can't recommend enough that each and every one of us take the time to have this done every year! If you haven't had yours this year, make the appointment today!!!

 

[Theo5050]

Nicely put! I enjoyed your take!