How to please your cyber lover while your kids are around...

[Nirvanadragones]

Ok, i am doing this on a dare... (watch me go...)

So you're online with your lover... and you're both, let's just say... needy... You would like nothing more than to be able to spend some time together... a very hot steamy phone call, or if that is not possible, a good chat should do it.

But your kidlets are around. Her's are not. Needless to say you need to keep your laptop screen clean... You would like her to still enjoy it. She needs it. You know that.
So what to do in said situation?

Most of us write erotica - or claim to. And we have good imaginations... So picture yourself in this situation, and post some phrases of what you would use.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

I'll start...

"and so the fair maiden traveled further down into the valley below"

 

[Samandiriel]

"and so the fair maiden traveled further down into the valley below"

she stops to rest between the mountains...

 

[Nirvanadragones]

she stops to rest between the mountains...

she circles them for a while...

 

[Samandiriel]

she circles them for a while...

she climbs to the top and slides down...

 

[Nirvanadragones]

say are we alone in here?

she climbs to the top and slides down...

she worked her way through the crevices where she slipped in a wet spot and had an epileptic siezure which caused an earthquake

 

[Samandiriel]

she worked her way through the crevices where she slipped in a wet spot and had an epileptic siezure which caused an earthquake

then a flood.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

then a flood.

You're hot....said the maiden to the sun

 

[Samandiriel]

You're hot....said the maiden to the sun

The sun warned the maiden to becareful or her backside would get very red. The sun had a temper and liked to spank bad girls.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

The knight aimed his lance to pierce the magic cave deeply and hard.

 

[Samandiriel]

The knight aimed his lance to pierce the magic cave deeply and hard.

Stab, stab, stab went the knight.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

The maiden reached the cave high above the mountains...it was warm and moist so she slithered inside

 

[Samandiriel]

The poor maiden was alone with her magic jackhammer and no batteries

 

[Selena_Kitt]

The poor maiden was alone with her magic jackhammer and no batteries

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nirvanadragones]

she climbs to the top and slides down...

tries again and used her teeth to hang on

 

[Nirvanadragones]

she eventually came out and moved upward to find a spot to curl up into for the night....she stepped up on a giant gold ring and pulled herself inward, the hole seemed too small so she yelled in...."Hellloooooooo...would anyone mind if I rested here a while before i go back down to the mountains and valley?

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

Damn, this is good. I remember my ex just screaming at the kids and telling them to get out of the room.

 

[arienette]

Damn, this is good. I remember my ex just screaming at the kids and telling them to get out of the room.

Well there's always that, too.

 

[Honey123]

A voice came back that left the Maiden breathless. "You may lay your head to rest in the soft grassy knolls. Should you find yourself thirsty, you may drink from the nectar of the hidden flower."

 

[Kev H]

The poor maiden was alone with her magic jackhammer and no batteries

LOL Flash fiction at it's finest!

 

[Guest]

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vana you are the BESTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You ROCK!


how bout = there was a warm wind blowing through the forest coming from inside the cave and out through the bushes. The bushes shivered. The wind continued its journey towards the centre of the earth

 

[Guest]

The little kitten was wet because it was left out in the rain

 

[entitled]

The little kitten was wet because it was left out in the rain

A nice soft hand petted it to help it dry.

 

[Guest]

A nice soft hand petted it to help it dry.

the kitty immediately started to purr because it liked the soft hand very much

 

[entitled]

The lady that found the kitten liked to hear it purr, so she gave it a kiss.