How to orgasm more effectively

[lorelai715]

I love sex with my boyfriend, even though I orgasm very infrequently from the sex itself. The reason for the infrequency is that, although I know how to get the right stimulation during sex, that type of stimulation sends my boyfriend over the edge very quickly.

For example, I can position myself such that his penis rubs my g-spot when I ride him, but I can only do it for a short while (a minute or two) before it's too much for him and he either cums, or we slow down, postponing his orgasm (good) but losing the build-up that we'd been working toward for me (bad).

We can do this repetitively - build-up and slow down - but I rarely get close enough for long enough to actually orgasm. So he or I usually masturbate me after he's already cum. The times when I do cum during sex are so much more powerful than masturbation (generally, because, at least for me, the g-spot orgasm is more powerful, and I rarely have one from masturbating - although I have), so I would really like to be able to more often.

So, my question is, how can we either prolong his orgasm or make mine come faster? We've tried the desensitizing condoms Trojan makes, but it was too strong and he wasn't able to keep an erection at all. He's tried distracting himself as well but it isn't very effective during the situation described above. What else can we try?

 

[Native Alien]

Might I suggest that you read the thread entitled "Try This and Report Back" by Mr. GGG. It has some very useful information in it.

 

[Bobmi357]

I love sex with my boyfriend, even though I orgasm very infrequently from the sex itself. The reason for the infrequency is that, although I know how to get the right stimulation during sex, that type of stimulation sends my boyfriend over the edge very quickly.

For example, I can position myself such that his penis rubs my g-spot when I ride him, but I can only do it for a short while (a minute or two) before it's too much for him and he either cums, or we slow down, postponing his orgasm (good) but losing the build-up that we'd been working toward for me (bad).

We can do this repetitively - build-up and slow down - but I rarely get close enough for long enough to actually orgasm. So he or I usually masturbate me after he's already cum. The times when I do cum during sex are so much more powerful than masturbation (generally, because, at least for me, the g-spot orgasm is more powerful, and I rarely have one from masturbating - although I have), so I would really like to be able to more often.

So, my question is, how can we either prolong his orgasm or make mine come faster? We've tried the desensitizing condoms Trojan makes, but it was too strong and he wasn't able to keep an erection at all. He's tried distracting himself as well but it isn't very effective during the situation described above. What else can we try?

Try increasing the amount of lube you're using. If you're not using any, try using some. A good fingerful of KY will go a long way to keeping the friction down (and the sensations bringing him to orgasm).

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Have you tried having an orgasm first? Either orally or manually? Then have intercourse. I always cum much faster the second time.

 

[nightswan]

you can try focalization,meaning a step by step course in keeping in touch with your feelings,so you can feel your urge to come better(for him).I suggest you to read the book by Louise Kaplan,when this technique is described in detail,for curing premature ejaculation.It's a 4 weeks program,where you learn again the basics of contact,meaning no sex for the first three weeks,only kissing,caressing and some light touch.Then,you move to better things.Also,using a squeeze technique(described also in Barbara Keeseling's book" how to make love all night") he will learn to recognize his various stages of excitement and his point of no return(basically he or you will massage him almost to the point of orgasm,stopping just a moment before ejaculation;let him come after that). For him,distracting doesn't work,it's another form of control something ignoring the inner self.He must concentrate on his emotions,his urge for coming,and become aware of that.After a while he will learn to feel tension within himself and his pelvic area too.That will lead to a better knowledge and,after a while,a lessening of the urge to come;both of you will enjoy sex more,especially since you will become more intimate,including more foreplay and caresses too.

Hope this helps.
Nightswan

 

[GypsyGeek]

You mention that you can position yourself so that he hits your g-spot, so I'm going to assume that you are using a position that allows you to be in control - probably on top or doggie-style. My personal preference for getting my partner and I to climax with these positions is to use a small vibrator on my clit for several minutes before actually beginning thrusting. I start with him fully inside me and I only rock back and forth slightly so that his cock rubs my g-spot gently while I use the vibrator on my clit. Once I begin to approach my own climax, that's when I start to actually ride him with full thrusts so that the stimulation to my g-spot increases. This lets me get close enough that I know I can come either before or at the same time as him. I like the pocket rocket vibrator for this, but a bullet would also work well. And I agree, the g-spot orgasm is SOO much better than a clitoral one...it feels like it involves my entire body, not just my genitals, and is deeper (if that makes sense).

 

[nljk]

My read on your question is a little dif. than the others. Not to dismiss the others responses, but It seems to be almost a premature ejaculation control thing hes having, and not something on your end. My fiance has g spot orgasms while riding me and i find it hard not to cum to quickly sometimes. I do have some questions thought ......
1. Have you been having regular sex with him ?(ie. 3, 4 times a week) the more sex i have on a regular basis tends to prolong our sessions.

2. Do you use condoms? They help alot with desensitization and at least for me prolong sex noticeably.however take away from the whole feel thing.

3. Has he had many lovers before you? similar to question 1 ,i know when most men who start haing sex tend to be quick. nothing to be ashamd of just how it is.

hope i could help !

 

[lutelover]

have him help you come first, or close to come, using hands or mouth, then have him enter you.

 

[I_Edwards]

PC SQUEEZES ARE THE ANSWER!!!

For both him and you. It'll help him prolong, and make it more intense for you.

Do a search, I'm sure you'll find something

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

This is an ages old thread, but I'm wondering why no one mentioned bringing the GUY to orgasm first, through either a handjob or blowjob. Once he's come one time, it takes longer second time around.

That would seem the most simple answer, no?

 

[Succulent-one]

Good Point

This is an ages old thread, but I'm wondering why no one mentioned bringing the GUY to orgasm first, through either a handjob or blowjob. Once he's come one time, it takes longer second time around.

That would seem the most simple answer, no?

Very good point.

Also, the more you stiumulate your self to orgasms with your partner there or not, I think your body learns to repsond faster. My opinion only! (Oh god, I can see the comment coming! LOL)

Next, I rarely can have an orgam on top with out addional manual stimulation, keep that guys hands busy! Keep your hands busy!

Heck, just have fun! The rest falls into place!