How to meet a man, and other mysteries...

[Vermilion]

I have a single girlfriend.
Bright, funny, cultured, attractive, fit, fun - nothing wrong with her.

Except all the men she knows are terrible exes. We've decided it's time for her to find a new bloke - a decent one, but how to start?

So I've come here to ask your help and advice... all the men I know are either taken, or there's a good reason for them being single so I'm no help. So, what do you suggest? Where can you meet good men? How can you get a conversation going? She's had no luck with the internet (it doesn't do her as many favours as meeting her in person does) so we need real life alternatives here guys!

Bearing in mind she's attractive, but not overtly sexy (no big boobs or long swishy hair) what can she do to attract some *decent* men into her life?
xxx
V

 

[oggbashan]

Join something that is likely to have more men than women - an evening class for Car Maintenance perhaps.

Even language classes can produce single people and talking in the coffee break might help.

One of my single female friends met her partner at a Tai Chi class for disabled people. She thought that her disability had deterred potential men. She married the instructor.

Og

 

[Anna_Malia75]

If she happens to find two, DIBS on the second one!

Seriously, I've just moved to a new city and am wondering the same thing myself. I have met some nice girls, though...

 

[Vermilion]

The List: What she wants...

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

 

[Vermilion]

ps- ogg - I heard that all car maintenance classes are filled with women looking for men!

Oh - and any guys out there looking for girls I have one simple piece of advice. Join a beginners dance class - salsa, ballroom, tango - anything that requires a partner. Once there pay attention to the dancing, be confident but not a prat and wait for them to come flocking... A man who can dance is, to most women, the Holy Grail of men...

x
V

 

[Vermilion]

If she happens to find two, DIBS on the second one!

Seriously, I've just moved to a new city and am wondering the same thing myself. I have met some nice girls, though...

Well I could do with some advice in that direction... how did you meet nice girls? I need some local girlfriends and I'm failing miserably.
x
V

 

[TheeGoatPig]

If she moves to New Jersey...

 

[rachlou]

If your friend is truly serious about finding a man to fulfil everything on her wish-list, then she has a bloody long wait!! This is where women go wrong - they inevitably have a long list of must-haves that no man can ever hope to live up to. Men on the other hand generally have one must-have on their list -nice boobs/ass/legs.

Your friend needs to lower her expectations and get out there. I know you've said she hasn't had any luck via internet dating, but it really is a great way of meeting loads of guys you wouldn't normally meet. The alternative is to simply spend as much time as possible doing sociable things where single men are likely to be. Whether this is Salsa classes or Car Maintenance for idiots, it doesn't matter. Anything that gets her out and noticed, is a good thing.

Sitting at home and waiting for Mr Right is NOT going to help!

(trust me, i'm an expert )

 

[carsonshepherd]

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

Sorry, I'm gay

 

[Vermilion]

To be fair to her she's very active and that list was drawn up on my advice, to try and steer her away from the tools she seems to be naturally attracted to

Sometimes just admitting what it is you want and sending it out into the atmosphere will bring it to you - well, it's worth a shot.

And she won;t go near the net after some bad experiences... <sigh>

Any nice English men on here looking for a wonderful gal to wine and dine?

x
V

 

[HawtDeepr46]

requirements?

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

so i guess 104 yrs old , wheelchair bound, bald , taking 1/2 viagra so i dont pee in my shoes, 13 inch tongue and i can breathe thru my ears wont work ... damn oh filthy rich also..

 

[LoquaciousLady]

If your friend is truly serious about finding a man to fulfil everything on her wish-list, then she has a bloody long wait!! This is where women go wrong - they inevitably have a long list of must-haves that no man can ever hope to live up to. Men on the other hand generally have one must-have on their list -nice boobs/ass/legs.

I don't know about that. I kept dating total losers until I finally figured out what I wanted out of a mate. Once I wrote the list and kept it in mind while accepting dates I found life much less miserable. I wound up marrying a man (9 months after I made my list, no less) who was all but one "requirement" on the list. Sadly, he wasn't rich.

I think the lists can be quite useful, especially when you have a history of attracting the wrong sorts, as long as you remain reasonable. It may be that what she wrote there was her "ideal man" and there are points she's willing to concede.

 

[Vermilion]

so i guess 104 yrs old , wheelchair bound, bald , taking 1/2 viagra so i dont pee in my shoes, 13 inch tongue and i can breathe thru my ears wont work ... damn oh filthy rich also..

Just let me ask....

 

[rachlou]

To be fair to her she's very active and that list was drawn up on my advice, to try and steer her away from the tools she seems to be naturally attracted to

Sometimes just admitting what it is you want and sending it out into the atmosphere will bring it to you - well, it's worth a shot.

And she won;t go near the net after some bad experiences... <sigh>

Any nice English men on here looking for a wonderful gal to wine and dine?

x
V

Ok - I admit, 99% of men you might meet from the internet are dodgy to be fair, but there are also many other nice ones. Best bet is to use a dating site (like datingdirect) as opposed to a networking site (like Facebook).

She might well have had some bad experiences (i bet they weren't as bad as mine! lol), but she shouldn't let it put her off. If you give up, then you may as well start taking in stray cats right now. . .

Option 2 is to simply be patient and stop looking. Sods Law says that as soon as you stop looking for love, love finds you.

 

[Vermilion]

Ok - I admit, 99% of men you might meet from the internet are dodgy to be fair, but there are also many other nice ones. Best bet is to use a dating site (like datingdirect) as opposed to a networking site (like Facebook).

She might well have had some bad experiences (i bet they weren't as bad as mine! lol), but she shouldn't let it put her off. If you give up, then you may as well start taking in stray cats right now. . .

Option 2 is to simply be patient and stop looking. Sods Law says that as soon as you stop looking for love, love finds you.

Ah, but I can't get her to seriously stop looking. Every time she does she has an unfortunate incident with an ex...

And I know the internet is good, I met my chap on the net :$
Just after I decided 'no more relationships for a couple of years'
Oh well !

And she did go through dating sites... it's just that most men aren't interested if you're not text-book sexy (big boobs etc) well... that seems to be her experience anyway.

Maybe I need to get her to join here?

x
V

 

[oggbashan]

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

Perhaps she should join a mountaineering course. Mountaineers could fit many of the physical attributes.

Not rugby players though - few of them survive with all their own teeth.

Royal Marine Commandos would also fit the bill but not the SAS - she doesn't want to be around someone liable to beat up cameramen.

Any army bases nearby? I met one girl who was in the Territorial Army. Her best friend married a RM Commando and spent her married life travelling the world and living in dreadful married quarters.

Og

 

[Liar]

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

Utopian ideals or dealbreakers?
If it's the latter, then there's your problem.

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

This, however, should be mandatory.


I have a "shopping list" too. It goes like this:
Not batshit crazy. (I've had that and I can't handle it.)

Other than that, I believe there are many different kinds of perfect.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Maybe I need to get her to join here?

x
V

That should go without saying, as she should be here already

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Have you thought of trailing a 100 pound note down Gloucester Road and up Kennsington to Bond Street?

 

[Vermilion]

Utopian ideals or dealbreakers?
If it's the latter, then there's your problem.


This, however, should be mandatory.


I have a "shopping list" too. It goes like this:
Not batshit crazy. (I've had that and I can't handle it.)

Other than that, I believe there are many different kinds of perfect.

Oh, Utopian ideals.

Dealbreakers are the way he treats her and good hygiene I believe... though intelligence is probably almost as important as those

x
V

 

[Vermilion]

Have you thought of trailing a 100 pound note down Gloucester Road and up Kennsington to Bond Street?

Not sure how many men would go racing after Monopoly money....
x
V

 

[rgraham666]

Kind
Genuine
Intelligent
Humorous (in a mildly odd way)
Honest
Rakish
A bit of a bad streak
Spontaneous
Secure
Sporty
Cultured (but not overly so)
Adventurous
Affectionate
a good laugh

Substantial frame (not a stick insect who could break, someone who is a MAN)
Broad shoulders
good hair
distinctive smell
Good legs and thighs
nice bum
not too hairy on the body
muscles!!

oh and nice eyes
good teeth
a shiny, glossy coat (ha ha)
some twinkle in the eye or something that makes me melt

As for treatment:
Want to be treated well
Not unduly worshipped, but a bit of adoration wouldn't be amiss
treated with respect

I'm on a dating website, although I don't go to it much anymore.

And when I see lists like that on a woman's profile I back click quicker that 'I kiked in th dor and cumed on hr fac' does in a Lit story.

What's she looking for? A decent guy? Or an Aryan superman?

 

[rachlou]

And I know the internet is good, I met my chap on the net :$
Just after I decided 'no more relationships for a couple of years'
Oh well !


x
V

Ha! I rest my case!!

Drop-dead-gorgeous-with-big-tits will always attract loads of hits on an internet dating site, but it won't get you past a first date. It's personality that counts. Maybe you should weed out the profiles for her and make sure she isn't inadvertently picking total arseholes as potential dates? Some women have tunnel vision when it comes to picking men for dates - they really can't spot the chaff amongst the wheat.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Have you tried www.omnidate.com, V? It's pretty stupid and all, but it might be a way to weed out the assholes.

 

[Vermilion]

Ha! I rest my case!!

Drop-dead-gorgeous-with-big-tits will always attract loads of hits on an internet dating site, but it won't get you past a first date. It's personality that counts. Maybe you should weed out the profiles for her and make sure she isn't inadvertently picking total arseholes as potential dates? Some women have tunnel vision when it comes to picking men for dates - they really can't spot the chaff amongst the wheat.

I have the odd look online every now and again... seems to be mostly total a-holes on as far as I can see... maybe dating sites have had their day? I dunno...
x
V