How to MAKE YOURSELF Attractive

[RomanHans]

I've noticed an interesting convergence of threads on this forum, with topics like:

Body type question
Sexiest part of a man
different types of attraction to someone else
how to know if you are attractive??

These seem to focus on what posters find attractive in others...which of course invites the automatic comparison (well then, would X find ME attractive??).

Since the popular answer is that what people find attractive is fundamentally more than physical, and more to do with attitude, energy, and behavior, I'd like to turn the question around...what do you think someone can do to MAKE themselves more attractive? And I don't mean in a superficial, plastic surgery or cosmetics sense--I mean, what can a person do in their mindset and attitude to be appealing?

Roman

 

[RomanHans]

To kick things off, here's my answer to my own question:

Some people have told me that I'm reasonably attractive, and I trust them so I'll take their word for it. I think that something that has made me much more attractive over time is become more secure about who I am and how I project my own personality. Even though I'm self-deprecating by instinct, I try not to make apologies for how I look, act, or dress. I have a pretty good idea of the kind of person I want to be, and it involves being reasonably honest, intelligent, articulate, caring, responsive, and self-assured. And self-assured is NOT the same thing as cocky!

So my answer in a nutshell is to be more self-confident. If you show that you are comfortable with yourself, other people like you will find you more attractive.

Roman

 

[BlueDaisy]

So my answer in a nutshell is to be more self-confident. If you show that you are comfortable with yourself, other people like you will find you more attractive.

Roman

Then I guess I'll never be attractive to others, because I can't see myself ever being self-confident and comfortable with myself.

*shrugs*

Good post, though, Roman.

 

[RomanHans]

Then I guess I'll never be attractive to others, because I can't see myself ever being self-confident and comfortable with myself.

*shrugs*

Good post, though, Roman.

Good Lord, woman, wasn't that a bit of a downer?

Hey, I recognize that not everyone can just wake up one day and be self-confident--Lord knows that it's taken me years, and most days I'm still a babbling idiot in public...but also, maybe there are other things that people can work on if not self-confidence...anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Roman

P.S. I'm sure that others can be comfortable with you, which means that there's a clear indication that you can be comfortable with yourself!

 

[BlueDaisy]

Good Lord, woman, wasn't that a bit of a downer?

Hey, I recognize that not everyone can just wake up one day and be self-confident--Lord knows that it's taken me years, and most days I'm still a babbling idiot in public...but also, maybe there are other things that people can work on if not self-confidence...anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Roman

P.S. I'm sure that others can be comfortable with you, which means that there's a clear indication that you can be comfortable with yourself!

Awww.....you're sweet

Yeah, most people I know are comfortable with me. I guess it is just me who isn't comfortable in my own skin. Such is life.

 

[Hotred911]

I find that when I'm smiling I feel better about myself. I also look more approachable.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Guest]

I agree with Hotred...
I am always smiling . And people approach me all the time ... lol or ask why I'm always smiling. And most days when I don't always look my utmost .... I almost always feel sexy. Confidence , that's another thing .

 

[Amfig]

Never considered myself attractive, so I dress to the max. Tailor made suits. Hand tailored shirts, made to an exacting spec. Always braces, never belts. Imported ties. Always a coordinated show hanky in the breast pocket. Costs $1,000's, looks like a millio bucks, and makes me incredibly self confident.

 

[watergirl]

Exercise. Even if you are too fat, too skinny, whatever - get out and move. Play with the dog, go for a walk in the fresh air, go to the gym and swim. It gets your endorphins going, and you will honestly feel better, regardless of your mental state.

Works great for me, and I'm loosing weight, woo hoo!

 

[RomanHans]

Never considered myself attractive, so I dress to the max. Tailor made suits. Hand tailored shirts, made to an exacting spec. Always braces, never belts. Imported ties. Always a coordinated show hanky in the breast pocket. Costs $1,000's, looks like a millio bucks, and makes me incredibly self confident.

Hmmm, maybe I should try that--although I'd probably have to get some actual fashion sense first (what, no stripes with plaids?)...

Roman

 

[ammre]

i think standing up straight is horrily attractive.. I hate when people slump.. it auticimatically makes their tummies more noticible (on women) the oobs saggier looking and makes themselves shorter...
Hold your head up high and stand tall with poise.. it autocimatically makes you look better... i guess that goes with confidence but sometimes i'll have no confidence and jsut inorder to feel better about myselfe i will stand up taller.. (it also helps keep away doule chins)
it was a technique much used by audrey hepburn... note how she goes down as one of the most infamious beauties arround.

of course there's always those guys who like the gawkey awkard slumpy girls... but i've found their few and far between.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

<snip>If you show that you are comfortable with yourself, other people like you will find you more attractive.

It took me soooo long to figure this out. *wry grin* But when I did,

~Anelize

 

[Monazwx]

Nice thread Roman.

 

[RomanHans]

Nice thread Roman.

Gee, thanks!

And look...you've made me feel more attractive!

Roman

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Sit up straight, make eye contact, smile...simple, and effective.

 

[Amfig]

Hmmm, maybe I should try that--although I'd probably have to get some actual fashion sense first (what, no stripes with plaids?)...

Roman

You don't need a fashion sense, just a bespoke tailor. Takes a lot of confidence to do that, though. You have to visualize a suit and shirts from swatches.

 

[watergirl]

originally posted by Johnny Mayberry
Sit up straight, make eye contact, smile...simple, and effective.

You sound like me.... just talk to people, and be interested in them, and they'll be more likely to think you're interesting. C'mon - are you into people who seem bored by you? Noooo - of course not.

Then again, overdoing the Ms. Approachable can cause that undesirable side-effect of becoming flypaper for freaks.

Not that I'd know...

 

[Icey*Fire]

You sound like me.... just talk to people, and be interested in them, and they'll be more likely to think you're interesting. C'mon - are you into people who seem bored by you? Noooo - of course not.

Then again, overdoing the Ms. Approachable can cause that undesirable side-effect of becoming flypaper for freaks.

Not that I'd know...

I have never considered myself attractive, but have
had several men tell me that I am. What I have
learned over the last few years is that if I fix myself
up..i.e. makeup, hair and just nice everyday clothes, I
am a jeans and tee shirt kind of girl,and I know that I
have done my best , then I seem to feel that I am attractive.
And always, always smile. Pay attention to the people that you
are talking with, if you make them feel good, then you can feel
good about yourself.
"Be cheerful. Of all the things you wear,your
expression is the most important."

 

[Javagirl]

it's all in the 'tude and feeling sexy

A guy that I had a huge crush on once told me--in my yester-years--ah those yester-years...hah...only YOU can make yourself feel sexy ...i was feeling low about myself after my stupid-ass ex boyfriend made me feel like crap...I've never forgotten his words...also, another sexy lust-o-my life once told me...once you realize HOW truly sexy you are, you won't believe how liberating it'll feel...he knew I was sexy...but I just didn't know it at that time but I definitely found out years later ...for me, feeling sexy and good about myself are completely intrinsic...you have to LOVE yourself and feel good and sexy about yourself...how do I feel good about myself? by working out and taking care of ME...by keeping myself in good shape and loving my body--inside and out i write and create and nourish my inner child and soul--that's how i feel sexy and good about myself

you need to nourish and take care of YOU...i went through a huge battle with my self-esteem after my ex boyfriend walked out on me..he was an ass and always criticized me and my body...i could give a rat's ass what he thinks about me now (body or otherwise), or what any man thinks about me for that matter...concerning my looks/body/sex appeal/level of attractiveness...take me or leave me is my 'tude...I am a sexy, confident, independent and intelligent woman...I am sexy and sensual and I love the sensual power I have over men (and now women hehe)...I love to tease and flirt and have fun...intelligence and self-confidence and someone who exudes a healthy, confident air about him/her...mmm that's so damn attractive and sexy...especially intelligence and sense of humor...I had the most fantastic, orgasmic, wild sex with a man who wasn't Mr. Joe Model--definitely cute...but it was his personality and wit that made me want to suck his cock for hours

I don't and will never have the "perfect model" body...first, my genetic make up is such that I will always have curves..but I love my boobs and booty and even that cellulite..I'm all natural and a woman...and some day, my Prince will cum (all puns intended).

The key is if you exude confidence and smile and show the world that you LOVE you...you will have people falling at your feet...and they'll compliment you with: You f*** like a porn star (hehe...so I've been told--was the biggest and best compliment I could receive--hey, I love sex, what can I say? MMM yumm yum.

Good luck and thanks for letting me share my thoughts tonight with all of you out there in Lit-Land

 

[wellnow]

Roman, this is an awesome thread. I think that you have hit the nail on the head. I'm sure that most everyone here agrees with you completely about attitude, confidence, etc. and the "show that you are comfortable with yourself" phrase says most everything.

Probably some, if not most, of us also need proactive suggestions and/or examples for overcoming what we consider to be our weaknesses. We we are usually finding are compliments that we have fished for by exposing that weakness that do help but may not have the impact to have a profound impact on our personality.

In my opinion, we can probably use more threads like this one and others such as "Try This & Report Back". New ones like: How to unstain your teeth, uncross your eyes, learn to love your small/large/fat/skinny [ fill in the blank ].

Just my $.02 worth.

Thanks again, Roman, for being a caring human being with the intuitiveness to start this thread.

 

[RomanHans]

Roman, this is an awesome thread. I think that you have hit the nail on the head. I'm sure that most everyone here agrees with you completely about attitude, confidence, etc. and the "show that you are comfortable with yourself" phrase says most everything.

Probably some, if not most, of us also need proactive suggestions and/or examples for overcoming what we consider to be our weaknesses. We we are usually finding are compliments that we have fished for by exposing that weakness that do help but may not have the impact to have a profound impact on our personality.

In my opinion, we can probably use more threads like this one and others such as "Try This & Report Back". New ones like: How to unstain your teeth, uncross your eyes, learn to love your small/large/fat/skinny [ fill in the blank ].

Just my $.02 worth.

Thanks again, Roman, for being a caring human being with the intuitiveness to start this thread.

Oh....yellow teeth are NOT attractive? Guess I'd better work on that....

Roman

 

[wellnow]

Oh....yellow teeth are NOT attractive? Guess I'd better work on that....

Roman

I just used that as an example because I have that problem periodically due to too much espresso and strong black tea every day. I can almost smile again

 

[Guest]

I dont consider myself attractive at all (women think this is odd for men) but I try to mask that by dressing my best, acting in a chivalrous manner, and complimenting the lovely lady.
Exercise for the mind and body is vital, this is something I've learned. It can make you sexy. No one likes to carry a conversation so learn about various subjects.

 

[ReadyOne]

Hair color.

I'm M/48. Since I got major grey, I started dumping on the coloring.

After a fresh batch, I get most smiles returned, get waited on quicker, and occasionally get a flirt from a girls VERY much younger than myself. (Maybe I remind them of their father, recast younger?)

As it wears off, I become invisible to those who aren't at least 40 something.

And there's some positive feeback involved. The more people respond to me, the easier it seems to be to get more people to respond to me. Self confidence booster, I suppose.