How to let someone down easily

[Texas_Wife]

♤♤♤♤♤

 

[Paul_Chance]

Okay guys and girls. I need some advice. A guy I used to talk with contacted me after several months. I have no romantic feelings towards him and he has since become involved with a nice girl. I don't want to break his heart again but I am not interested in him in that way. Thanks in advance.

Just be straightforward with him- tell him it's obvious you've both moved on, you're not interested in them romantically, and then let it go. This is one area where I think dancing around doesn't do anyone any good.

 

[Setanta84]

Just be straightforward with him- tell him it's obvious you've both moved on, you're not interested in them romantically, and then let it go. This is one area where I think dancing around doesn't do anyone any good.

This. Be honest, be direct, and don't be an asshole.

Letting a person off easy isn't "being nice" by any means necessary--it's more about showing respect for the person and his/her intelligence as a human being. The worst things you can do are lie--if he's smart and/or knows you well, it'll be obvious and make things worse regardless of intention--or be vague or callous. It's possible to be concrete, direct, and honest without being an asshole.

 

[blksoldier]

to the point.

Honesty is best, just let him know your true feelings it will be better than letting them string along. Most men (not all) would like it that way. if you let it go for awhile we think that we may have a chance

 

[Texas_Wife]

Thanks ya'll for the replies.

 

[dizzyegg]

I completely agree with all the comments. Be honest and straight with him. I've been in that unfortunate position. She wasn't honest with me and led me a merry dance for several months until I finally got the truth. I'd have much preferred the truth, sure it would have hurt but better that than the misery I ended up getting. Good luck.

 

[Rachaelxx]

Good thread. I am not very good at this.

 

[TomKeen]

I tend to agree with the other posters. It is best to be up front and straight forward with the guy. Let him know you are not interested in a romantic relationship. If he is a decent fella he will understand and leave you alone. There are probably a fair amount of people that can relate. I don't know the full situation so admitedly my advice is limited. Good luck.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I don't know that I'd be that concerned about the feelings of a guy who is already trying to line up a fling while his nice girl is waiting elsewhere.

How about something like.. "I'm a little insulted that you think I'd even consider it when we both know that you're in a relationship. I didn't think you were that guy."

 

[HaleyK]

Okay guys and girls. I need some advice. A guy I used to talk with contacted me after several months. I have no romantic feelings towards him and he has since become involved with a nice girl. I don't want to break his heart again but I am not interested in him in that way. Thanks in advance.

Good thread and good advice. I was agreeing with most of it until someone pointed put that he's involved with someone else (something I totally blew right past on first reading). Be honest, be direct, be nice but keep in mind he's involved with someone else so maybe he needs his feelings hurt a bit. That's all on him IMHU.

 

[HaleyK]

I don't know that I'd be that concerned about the feelings of a guy who is already trying to line up a fling while his nice girl is waiting elsewhere.

How about something like.. "I'm a little insulted that you think I'd even consider it when we both know that you're in a relationship. I didn't think you were that guy."

This +1

 

[Harold_Hill]

Okay guys and girls. I need some advice. A guy I used to talk with contacted me after several months. I have no romantic feelings towards him and he has since become involved with a nice girl. I don't want to break his heart again but I am not interested in him in that way. Thanks in advance.

Why respond to him at all? He is with someone else now, so why is he contacting you in the first place?