How to kneel correctly?

[Jade_Riley]

I've only recently experienced being a sub but one thing I'm having trouble with is kneeling. I can't seem to kneel for very long without getting pins and needles in my feet and ankles. I think it's because I'm resting my body on them but holding myself up slightly also starts to hurt after a while too.

Does anyone have advice of being able to kneel for longer without any pain/uncomfort?

 

[lovecraft68]

I've only recently experienced being a sub but one thing I'm having trouble with is kneeling. I can't seem to kneel for very long without getting pins and needles in my feet and ankles. I think it's because I'm resting my body on them but holding myself up slightly also starts to hurt after a while too.

Does anyone have advice of being able to kneel for longer without any pain/uncomfort?

There's supposed to be pain and discomfort at some point. Kind of goes along with being a sub.

 

[Jade_Riley]

There's supposed to be pain and discomfort at some point. Kind of goes along with being a sub.

Thanks and that's understandable lovecraft68. What I'm just also wondering is if people have any tricks/tips on how to kneel for longer without it hurting too much? Or is it best to just deal with the pain and try to concentrate on subbing? I assume it'll get easier with more experience?

 

[RedButterflySlut]

Try practicing during down time For example, I kneel while I study or while watching T.V. Your strength and tolerance will build up over time.

Edit for afterthought: Also, I put one foot on top of the other. That seems to really relieve pressure.

 

[bailadora]

There's supposed to be pain and discomfort at some point. Kind of goes along with being a sub.

What rot. People can be into the whole D/s thing without being into the pain. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.

 

[bailadora]

I've only recently experienced being a sub but one thing I'm having trouble with is kneeling. I can't seem to kneel for very long without getting pins and needles in my feet and ankles. I think it's because I'm resting my body on them but holding myself up slightly also starts to hurt after a while too.

Does anyone have advice of being able to kneel for longer without any pain/uncomfort?

You don't say how old you are or what kind of demands you've put on your body in the past (sports?), but kneeling for long periods of time may be something your body just can't handle. Plus it's just plain bad for your knees (bursitis, anyone?). I'd suggest googling terms like prolonged kneeling or how to kneel for long periods of time to see what sort of alternatives/compromises might work for you and your dominant. If he/she refuses to work with you, that should be a red flag. Any dominant worth his/her salt should have your health and safety as a top priority, if not THE priority.

 

[Vixandra]

Any dominant worth his/her salt should have your health and safety as a top priority, if not THE priority.

If you break your toys, you can't play with them anymore. Or they won't want to play with you.

That said, shifting from a wider-stance kneel to a narrower one, repositioning your feet and slowly building up tolerance can help. Try keeping a yoga mat or other cushioned mat for using when you're kneeling.

The imagery of kneeling on a bare floor is nice but the reality is painful and not in a good way for most.

Speak with you PYL (Pick Your Label/Dominant, etc) about this too, he or she should be able to help.

 

[bailadora]

If you break your toys, you can't play with them anymore. Or they won't want to play with you.

That's my school of thought, as well. But I've met a few people who insist what their PYL wants is paramount. To each his own, but *I'd* certainly never get involved with someone like that.

 

[satindesire]

There's supposed to be pain and discomfort at some point. Kind of goes along with being a sub.

Uhmmmm no.

No, no no.

Pain does not "go along" with being a sub. Not all subs like pain and not all Doms like inflicting it. So...no.

 

[lovecraft68]

Uhmmmm no.

No, no no.

Pain does not "go along" with being a sub. Not all subs like pain and not all Doms like inflicting it. So...no.

It's a matter of taste.

Discomfort and "agony" are two very different things. She mentioned being uncomfortable. Uncomfortable works.

Also depends on the sub, there are those that like more pain than others. Things like this are a fairly easy way to gauge that.

Personally I enjoy pain and have a tremendous threshold for it. I never expected my subs to be able to come close to it, but I do enjoy inflicting some pain here and there.

Guess I'm not the 50 shades of Grey type of guy.

 

[satindesire]

It's a matter of taste.

Discomfort and "agony" are two very different things. She mentioned being uncomfortable. Uncomfortable works.

Also depends on the sub, there are those that like more pain than others. Things like this are a fairly easy way to gauge that.

Personally I enjoy pain and have a tremendous threshold for it. I never expected my subs to be able to come close to it, but I do enjoy inflicting some pain here and there.

Guess I'm not the 50 shades of Grey type of guy.

Yes, it is a matter of taste. But to imply that ALL subs have to endure any kind of pain or discomfort is the kind of blanket statement that I wouldn't expect a person who is actually involved in BDSM to make.

That's as if I said, all subs are male. It's just not true, some are, sure, but not all.

 

[lovecraft68]

Yes, it is a matter of taste. But to imply that ALL subs have to endure any kind of pain or discomfort is the kind of blanket statement that I wouldn't expect a person who is actually involved in BDSM to make.

That's as if I said, all subs are male. It's just not true, some are, sure, but not all.

Understood, but being a sub is not supposed to be fun all the time, especially during the "breaking in" process.

But yes I am wrong for generalizing and as for the safe/sane/consensual my tatses admittedly lie on the borders because I am a switch and my initial mistress practiced none of the three aforementioned words.

Might have fallen more under sexual torture, so I tend to lean towards pain sluts when I could find them.

Just as an aside. This is confusing to lay people as you are pointing out about Masters should not be speaking of pain, yet go over to threads like the "marks of a slave" and things look a bit different.

Chains leaving "hamburger" marks are not exactly comfortable, and whipping and caning generally are painful.

Just saying is all.

 

[satindesire]

Understood, but being a sub is not supposed to be fun all the time, especially during the "breaking in" process.

But yes I am wrong for generalizing and as for the safe/sane/consensual my tatses admittedly lie on the borders because I am a switch and my initial mistress practiced none of the three aforementioned words.

Might have fallen more under sexual torture, so I tend to lean towards pain sluts when I could find them.

Just as an aside. This is confusing to lay people as you are pointing out about Masters should not be speaking of pain, yet go over to threads like the "marks of a slave" and things look a bit different.

Chains leaving "hamburger" marks are not exactly comfortable, and whipping and caning generally are painful.

Just saying is all.

Not all subs/slaves need breaking in. And it doesn't have to be painful regardless.

Seriously, enough with the generalizations.

 

[Jade_Riley]

Thank you so much everyone. I'll definitely practice kneeling a bit more when I'm by myself (doing it now!) and will also try the tip about resting one foot over the other. If I still can't find something that makes it a bit easier and it's becoming unbearable I may talk to Sir about it and see what he suggests. I'm sure he would understand and have some idea's/options to this.

 

[lovecraft68]

Not all subs/slaves need breaking in. And it doesn't have to be painful regardless.

Seriously, enough with the generalizations.

And enough of you being another one of the people who come to these sites acting like the be all end all.

The BDSM lifestyle is not cut and dried and has different levels throughout.

Whatever you do you do. Others do it differently, I think you're generalizing as well.

Perhaps you should read 50 shades of Grey. Seems your speed.

 

[Etaski]

I've only recently experienced being a sub but one thing I'm having trouble with is kneeling. I can't seem to kneel for very long without getting pins and needles in my feet and ankles. I think it's because I'm resting my body on them but holding myself up slightly also starts to hurt after a while too.

The pins and needles in your feet implies you are cutting off circulation...

This has happened to me when I have my legs together and all my weight resting on my poor lower limbs. Didn't work for me, either.

I have strong thighs so I found relief bracing my knees farther apart and balancing my weight on "four points of contact": my two knees and my two feet. Mind you...this was an "upright kneeling" position, and one needs to practice good posture so there's minimal strain on the back.

For a "forehead on the floor" kneeling position, again the knees were spread, the feet where touching each other (or resting on each other), and I was again balanced on four points of contact (or five): knees, forearms/elbows, and forehead resting on the backs of my hands.

My partner was also kind enough to only demand this on carpet or giving me a mat/pillow on hard floors. Times didni't seem to exceed 5-10 minutes before other things were happening, so maybe this isn't hardcore at all.

But the important thing seemed to be: good posture for the back/good body mechanics using your strongest muscles, and 4 points of contact with the ground. It minimized the discomfort for me and I could focus on what was happening/being anticipated.

Being distracted by cramping/pins and needles is not a good way to enjoy this type of erotic play. Think of it like your Dom is competing with gravity for your attention. Not really the goal, I thought.

Does anyone have advice of being able to kneel for longer without any pain/uncomfort?

Another poster said practice in down-time and build some endurance. This is a good suggestion. But in addition, that practice needs to be experimenting to find what angles your limbs need to be in to minimize strain, pressure points, and a "kinked" circulatory system.

Hope this helps, or at least you can see the theory. It's easier to show than to describe, sometimes.

 

[bailadora]

The BDSM lifestyle is not cut and dried and has different levels throughout.

Whatever you do you do. Others do it differently, I think you're generalizing as well.

Um. I think this is the point Satin was trying to make in the first place. That BDSM doesn't HAVE to be anything but what the two people involved in the relationship WANT it to be. How is that a generalization? (That's a honest question, btw).

Perhaps you should read 50 shades of Grey. Seems your speed.

And what if it WAS her speed? Is there anything wrong with that? I dunno. Maybe it's just me - but that statement comes across as derisive - as if anyone who isn't as hardcore as you are in your preferences is mere fluff.

 

[satindesire]

And enough of you being another one of the people who come to these sites acting like the be all end all.

The BDSM lifestyle is not cut and dried and has different levels throughout.

Whatever you do you do. Others do it differently, I think you're generalizing as well.

Perhaps you should read 50 shades of Grey. Seems your speed.

I haven't made a single one! And I'm not the one acting like the be all end all, YOU ARE. That's why I've been talking to you in the first place. Stop projecting for Christ's sake!

You don't even know me, dude, so don't go getting snarky because you're feeling defensive. Own your shit instead and stop trying to tell people what they SHOULD be doing/seeing/feeling, because your experiences and preferences aren't everyone else's.

I never said I wasn't into pain. I never said anything about MY preferences, did I? So to imply that I'm somehow "less than" because you're implying I'm NOT into pain is trollish and lame. Grow up.

 

[Jade_Riley]

The pins and needles in your feet implies you are cutting off circulation...

This has happened to me when I have my legs together and all my weight resting on my poor lower limbs. Didn't work for me, either.

I have strong thighs so I found relief bracing my knees farther apart and balancing my weight on "four points of contact": my two knees and my two feet. Mind you...this was an "upright kneeling" position, and one needs to practice good posture so there's minimal strain on the back.

For a "forehead on the floor" kneeling position, again the knees were spread, the feet where touching each other (or resting on each other), and I was again balanced on four points of contact (or five): knees, forearms/elbows, and forehead resting on the backs of my hands.

My partner was also kind enough to only demand this on carpet or giving me a mat/pillow on hard floors. Times didni't seem to exceed 5-10 minutes before other things were happening, so maybe this isn't hardcore at all.

But the important thing seemed to be: good posture for the back/good body mechanics using your strongest muscles, and 4 points of contact with the ground. It minimized the discomfort for me and I could focus on what was happening/being anticipated.

Being distracted by cramping/pins and needles is not a good way to enjoy this type of erotic play. Think of it like your Dom is competing with gravity for your attention. Not really the goal, I thought.

Another poster said practice in down-time and build some endurance. This is a good suggestion. But in addition, that practice needs to be experimenting to find what angles your limbs need to be in to minimize strain, pressure points, and a "kinked" circulatory system.

Hope this helps, or at least you can see the theory. It's easier to show than to describe, sometimes.

Thank you so much for the advice I knew this was the right place to come for help! I'll definitely be trying the four/five points of contact to see if that works better for me.