Caria Knight
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Any suggestions? I just asked my SO if he wanted a blow job and he thought I was joking... 
How to increase a man's sex drive?
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EthiopianPrince
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I don't think you can change him unless he WANTS to be changed. Does he?
Caria Knight
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Yeah he does want to change, but when he was young he learned to "turn it off" and now he seems not to be able to keep it on.
Unfortunitly for the naked thing, we have a roomie (we're not into sharing) and a two year old. My SO is usually at his computer which is in the livingroom so getting that kind of attention isn't available.
Unfortunitly for the naked thing, we have a roomie (we're not into sharing) and a two year old. My SO is usually at his computer which is in the livingroom so getting that kind of attention isn't available.
It'sasecret
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I wish I knew. I came to lit. asking the same question.
RhumbRunner13
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Maybe he has other thoughts on his mind, maybe he wants to spoil you!
Ask him, "What do you want to do to me........or what do you want me to do?"
Or " how's the game?"
Runner
Ask him, "What do you want to do to me........or what do you want me to do?"
Or " how's the game?"
Runner
Shy Tall Guy
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My question is, how do I decrease my sex drive?Caria Knight said:Any suggestions? I just asked my SO if he wanted a blow job and he thought I was joking...
EthiopianPrince
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Let him know you are sexually attracted to another man, either someone he knows or a celebrity. That always works for me because it gets my competitive juices flowing.
on_the_verge
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I guess I will go out this in a drawer of unanswered questions because it cannot be defined online without further understanding and knowledge of the individual involved. Sheesh, it's a psychological issue and we think and act because of experiences in our lives. Oh, maybe that's where to start, hmmm?
G
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If you really want to know, get him to a doctor and have his testorone levels checked. If they are low get him on a HRT program (test injections, much, much better than the patch). This WILL do it.
I case you're interested low test levels in men lead to more serious problems than low sex drive. The top 2 are excessive weight gain and heart problems.
BTW: If you want to take a shot yourself (no doctor in the world is going to prescibe it to a women) it will turn you into a raging nypho. There are potential un-wanted sides with women. Deepend voice, facial hair and clit enlargement. Most off these occur over time at high doses but can happen to some at even a small dose. The sides can become unreverseable.
I case you're interested low test levels in men lead to more serious problems than low sex drive. The top 2 are excessive weight gain and heart problems.
BTW: If you want to take a shot yourself (no doctor in the world is going to prescibe it to a women) it will turn you into a raging nypho. There are potential un-wanted sides with women. Deepend voice, facial hair and clit enlargement. Most off these occur over time at high doses but can happen to some at even a small dose. The sides can become unreverseable.
on_the_verge
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Unregistered said:
This can be quite true, but just because your drive is up, there may be other factors prohibiting, such as what the mindset is.
Caria, maybe you can provide some more background about you and your SO?
on_the_verge
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Maybe?
Here is a link to a site:
http://www.increasesexdrive.com/
It may be helpful and I hope it leads to unanswered thoughts. I do believe that sensuality & sexuality is not a want or desire, be it from what points, but it's something that flows within, like a mental and physical energy rooted within one's soul. Otherwise, it could be plain perversion or the lack of understanding that sensuality & sexuality are beyond what is usually defined and thought of.
Here is a link to a site:
http://www.increasesexdrive.com/
It may be helpful and I hope it leads to unanswered thoughts. I do believe that sensuality & sexuality is not a want or desire, be it from what points, but it's something that flows within, like a mental and physical energy rooted within one's soul. Otherwise, it could be plain perversion or the lack of understanding that sensuality & sexuality are beyond what is usually defined and thought of.
Caria Knight
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Well, let's see what more details I can give about us.
I think we're basicly a normal couple. We have our problems but work through them best we can.
He has always had this exceptional respect of women that he gained at a very young age. He's always been shy and overly causious of not wanting to do anything the woman doesn't want. He has a strong matabolizum (SP?) so he's thin but muscular and very strong.
When we talk about his lack of drive all he can really say is that when he was young his hormones were crazy. Like most teenagers but he hated being like that with no relief in sight. So he learned how to not think about it and keep himself in check most of the time. He's basicly still the same way, he just doesn't think about sex often. He just seems to keep busy with other things without realizing how long it's been.
I've never really had a problem with it but now I seem to be discovering my self more. Which has caused my drive to increase. I'm not getting upset about the lack of nookie because I love him with or without it. But if it can increase I wont complain! OH, he's 31 & I'm 28 if that makes any difference.
As for the check up thing... I don't think he'd be very comfortable with that. And though we're not intimate all the time, we are enough to matter. I'd just like a little more but wouldn't put him through the stress of a doctor and tests. I don't ever want him to feel he's not enough of a man for me.
Don't know if this makes much sense but it's what I feel.
I think we're basicly a normal couple. We have our problems but work through them best we can.
He has always had this exceptional respect of women that he gained at a very young age. He's always been shy and overly causious of not wanting to do anything the woman doesn't want. He has a strong matabolizum (SP?) so he's thin but muscular and very strong.
When we talk about his lack of drive all he can really say is that when he was young his hormones were crazy. Like most teenagers but he hated being like that with no relief in sight. So he learned how to not think about it and keep himself in check most of the time. He's basicly still the same way, he just doesn't think about sex often. He just seems to keep busy with other things without realizing how long it's been.
I've never really had a problem with it but now I seem to be discovering my self more. Which has caused my drive to increase. I'm not getting upset about the lack of nookie because I love him with or without it. But if it can increase I wont complain! OH, he's 31 & I'm 28 if that makes any difference.
As for the check up thing... I don't think he'd be very comfortable with that. And though we're not intimate all the time, we are enough to matter. I'd just like a little more but wouldn't put him through the stress of a doctor and tests. I don't ever want him to feel he's not enough of a man for me.
Don't know if this makes much sense but it's what I feel.
Last edited:
on_the_verge
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Caria,
Thanks for updating and it's much more to gnaw on. There is really nothing so definitive about being normal, but trying to convey a medium. It's important to "communicate" and put energy and nurture a relationship in all respects. There also has to be a broad mind and the ability to delve into thoughts and experiences beyond the surface, but it's all relative in itself too.
As you can see in AV, I am slim and muscular also, but I am not sure if that relates to my sex drive. My energy level has always been high from sports or outdoor activities. Which can also raise the hormone level. There is also diets that can increase certain senses and the body. Chocolate is one source and it contains the amino acid phenythylamine, the chemical your brain produces when you are in love.
At a young age, 21, sexuality was not as important because I had a stressful job in the military and I had other things in life that needed massaging and attention. Unlike when I was much younger, it was a fascination and discovery. I don't believe my inner self and experiences oiled into fluidity until 5 years ago. I had become more active with myself and not my work, but I also discovered my sex drive increased with the lovers in my past. My thoughts beckon me daily in any given time, that a simple vision of an erotic thought or the glimpse of a woman's hips as her flesh is exposed when she reaches for rail. I feel my zones swelter and become fluid as the sensual experiences of pasts romances and interludes resurface. As of late, I awake in the middle of the night, touching and exploring myself as if it was a lover. I feel all the sensitivities and the discovering of my body through every touch—at every inch of my being—is allowing me to desire more and more for another to do the same.
Have you spoken about this with your SO in depth and what are his views and thoughts? There must be more to how he feels in lieu of what you have stated so far. Are there signs that come in play that he is not aware of, but you recognize? What is his passion and desire? Small clues to what he reads or watches may help in seeing the hidden and minute reactions that may cause his pupils to dilate or that his hands instinctively draw closer to his body, better yet, yours.
Thanks for updating and it's much more to gnaw on. There is really nothing so definitive about being normal, but trying to convey a medium. It's important to "communicate" and put energy and nurture a relationship in all respects. There also has to be a broad mind and the ability to delve into thoughts and experiences beyond the surface, but it's all relative in itself too.
As you can see in AV, I am slim and muscular also, but I am not sure if that relates to my sex drive. My energy level has always been high from sports or outdoor activities. Which can also raise the hormone level. There is also diets that can increase certain senses and the body. Chocolate is one source and it contains the amino acid phenythylamine, the chemical your brain produces when you are in love.
At a young age, 21, sexuality was not as important because I had a stressful job in the military and I had other things in life that needed massaging and attention. Unlike when I was much younger, it was a fascination and discovery. I don't believe my inner self and experiences oiled into fluidity until 5 years ago. I had become more active with myself and not my work, but I also discovered my sex drive increased with the lovers in my past. My thoughts beckon me daily in any given time, that a simple vision of an erotic thought or the glimpse of a woman's hips as her flesh is exposed when she reaches for rail. I feel my zones swelter and become fluid as the sensual experiences of pasts romances and interludes resurface. As of late, I awake in the middle of the night, touching and exploring myself as if it was a lover. I feel all the sensitivities and the discovering of my body through every touch—at every inch of my being—is allowing me to desire more and more for another to do the same.
Have you spoken about this with your SO in depth and what are his views and thoughts? There must be more to how he feels in lieu of what you have stated so far. Are there signs that come in play that he is not aware of, but you recognize? What is his passion and desire? Small clues to what he reads or watches may help in seeing the hidden and minute reactions that may cause his pupils to dilate or that his hands instinctively draw closer to his body, better yet, yours.
KinkyKandy
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i have just one quesiton for you...why the hell would you ask a guy if he wants a blow job!!! Just do it sometime. No semi-normal man would actally tell you to stop, or say he doesn't want it. And maybe he thought you were joking cuz you dont' do it, or rarely ever do it to him.
on_the_verge
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KinkyKandy said:
So, in all ideals, you would want a lover to go down on you the same, but deliver more tenderness and then hunger for your flowery petals. Maybe flicker your clit and nibble on your hood? Just a perspective and I am not indicating that I was thinking of you solely.
Calamity Jane
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Damiana... it's an herb that increases sex drive in both men and women. Some of us to the point that we have to leave work and get some NOW to alleviate the discomfort.
**Cut and pasted from Damiana Info **
Indications: Damiana is an excellent strengthening remedy for the nervous system. It has an ancient reputation as an aphrodisiac. Whilst this mayor may not be true, it has a definite tonic action on the central nervous andthe hormonal system. As a useful anti-depressant, Damiana is considered to be aspecific in cases of anxiety and depression where there is a sexual factor. It may be used to strengthen the male sexual system.
Ellingwood describes this herb thus: (please note that the language is that of Ellingwood, reflecting the time it was written) "A mild nerve tonic claimed to be valuable in the treatment of sexual impotence. Some of our physicians praise it highly for its influence in sexual neurasthenia, and it is said to correct frigidity in the female. It had long enjoyed a local reputation as a stimulant tonic of the sexual apparatus among the natives of Mexico, before it attracted the attention of the profession. Besides its peculiar action on the sexual appetite and function, it is a general tonic, some what cathartic and is slightly cholagogue. The midwives and women of loose morals of western Mexico also attribute emmenagogue properties to it.
**Cut and pasted from Damiana Info **
Indications: Damiana is an excellent strengthening remedy for the nervous system. It has an ancient reputation as an aphrodisiac. Whilst this mayor may not be true, it has a definite tonic action on the central nervous andthe hormonal system. As a useful anti-depressant, Damiana is considered to be aspecific in cases of anxiety and depression where there is a sexual factor. It may be used to strengthen the male sexual system.
Ellingwood describes this herb thus: (please note that the language is that of Ellingwood, reflecting the time it was written) "A mild nerve tonic claimed to be valuable in the treatment of sexual impotence. Some of our physicians praise it highly for its influence in sexual neurasthenia, and it is said to correct frigidity in the female. It had long enjoyed a local reputation as a stimulant tonic of the sexual apparatus among the natives of Mexico, before it attracted the attention of the profession. Besides its peculiar action on the sexual appetite and function, it is a general tonic, some what cathartic and is slightly cholagogue. The midwives and women of loose morals of western Mexico also attribute emmenagogue properties to it.
KinkyKandy
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basicly yes......i mean its wierd when people have to ask if their girlfirend, boyfriend, husband, wife..what ever wants something from them. Personally i just go down on my boyfriend, and he does the same for me. We both love to do it, and we NEVER have to ask.
Caria Knight
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Like I mentioned before, we have a roomie so it's not like I can just drop his pants in the middle of the livingroom. I've done it before while we were already in the bedroom without asking.... this was just a something new I was trying.
verge, can I PM you? You have good questions and suggestions that I would like to go further into if you have the time but have probably posted too much publicly already.
verge, can I PM you? You have good questions and suggestions that I would like to go further into if you have the time but have probably posted too much publicly already.
AStormyOne
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PCG
So, uh... where can I lay my hands on some of this stuff??
Storm
So, uh... where can I lay my hands on some of this stuff??
Storm
G
Guest
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Caria, Testorone levels govern a male & females sex drive. Have him take a physical, test levels are checked during a physical. You don't have to mention anything more. Look at the levels when they come back.
The reason your sex drive is increasing (and every women's drive as they approach 30) is that your estrogen levels decline. This changes the test/estrogen ratio. A small change in hormone levels in women is all it takes to effect them. Test now has a greater role in your life. As well as an increased sex drive you are probably experiencing a hightened level of self-confidence and independance too. This will continue till you (and him) hit your 40s. Then levels will drop.
The only herb or otc product that stands a chance to increase sex drive is yomibe. Beware some people can't take it due to stress on the heart (simular to ephedra). I know, I'm a bodybuilder. If their was another that worked I would know about it. BBers abuse steroids (ok, so I admit it). When you finish a steroid cycle your natural test levels are completely shut down and it takes them a while to get back up. All you want to do is watch movies like Bridges of Madison County or simular crap.
Let me restate my opening sentence- Testorone levels govern the sex drive in males & females. Boost the test, the sex drive goes up- period.
The reason your sex drive is increasing (and every women's drive as they approach 30) is that your estrogen levels decline. This changes the test/estrogen ratio. A small change in hormone levels in women is all it takes to effect them. Test now has a greater role in your life. As well as an increased sex drive you are probably experiencing a hightened level of self-confidence and independance too. This will continue till you (and him) hit your 40s. Then levels will drop.
The only herb or otc product that stands a chance to increase sex drive is yomibe. Beware some people can't take it due to stress on the heart (simular to ephedra). I know, I'm a bodybuilder. If their was another that worked I would know about it. BBers abuse steroids (ok, so I admit it). When you finish a steroid cycle your natural test levels are completely shut down and it takes them a while to get back up. All you want to do is watch movies like Bridges of Madison County or simular crap.
Let me restate my opening sentence- Testorone levels govern the sex drive in males & females. Boost the test, the sex drive goes up- period.
