How to get a reply to your PM

[Loverskitten]

Hi, like many of you I found the forums after reading erotic stories and poems and am here to learn, share and meet new friends. I appreciate PMs but reply VERY infrequently. Here's why...

1) Please spell check, or AT LEAST proof read before you hit send. "A lot" is two words, thanks. I'm admittedly bad at spelling, but come on people.
2) Please have more than a few posts under your belt and if you only have, say 10, they better be informative and not "bump" on your one personal ad post.
3) Do write me something creative!
4) Have I expressed an interest in phone sex? No. Ok, don't ask then. Same for web cam sex.
5) Have I posted pictures of my pussy on here? No. Well then I won't send them to you because you clicked a button near my screen name. I'm sure you can find people that HAVE and will.
6) Please actually have read a couple of my posts before contacting me. I will be curious as to what I posted that piqued your interest.
7) Be polite. Do you go up to strangers on the street and start dirty talking? No? Me neither.

Feel free to add to or share your own lists!

 

[SexyAlison]

Agreed so much. Especially number 7. Talking like a creep instantly is pretty much an instant ignore for me. Also, don't really care for the messages that they clearly copied and pasted to everyone they see hoping for a reply. If you're not going to take the time to at least personalize it, then don't bother.

 

[Pleasesuckle]

Amen! I know you guys out there love your man junk, and you surely do offer pictures and an exhibitionist's love of live wanking, but leading with that gets you nowhere...usually. There may be some that take you up on that offer first thing, but by and large, I don't think so.

Just as in anything else in life....make a little effort up front and you'll get further.

 

[SweetErika]

That's a good list.

I'll add:
-Personalize your message. If it looks like a C&P or something you're sending to a bunch of people, you're not going to get a positive response (if I respond at all), unless you're someone I know fairly well and it's a special situation. Use my name, make it clear you've read my profile or are responding to something specific I've said, etc.
- Have a good reason to write me, unless I already know you. My time here is limited, and I'm not likely to spend it telling strangers how I'm doing that day or answering ridiculous questions about things that can be found in my profile or posts.

 

[RAddams]

Well I for one have never sent a PM to anyone. However if I did I would be polite and not start off with a pic of my "man junk".

I don't completely agree with you about number 7 because this is a forum about sex and erotic literature. There are members talking dirty all over this forum and I don't know of any rule that says we are not supposed to.

It almost sounds like you are expecting this to be a dating or friendship site opposed to a forum for sex and erotic literature.

 

[Loverskitten]

Well I for one have never sent a PM to anyone. However if I did I would be polite and not start off with a pic of my "man junk".

I don't completely agree with you about number 7 because this is a forum about sex and erotic literature. There are members talking dirty all over this forum and I don't know of any rule that says we are not supposed to.

It almost sounds like you are expecting this to be a dating or friendship site opposed to a forum for sex and erotic literature.

I don't give a shit if people talk dirty in this forum, people should even, BUT if you are sending someone a PM, you do want more be it friendship, a hook up, or dating. That's the difference.


You are a guy, you don't understand that most women on here are fielding PMs from the moment they sign up. I am not opposed to meeting new friends or more through this site. In fact meeting a nice, handsome, kinky, strong, intelligent, man who can write to me is my secret plan, so secret I haven't posted a personals ad But so far most PMs have been a joke, hence this post.

Just because I go to strip clubs sometimes, doesn't mean *I'm* going to strip for everyone

 

[SexyAlison]

Well I for one have never sent a PM to anyone. However if I did I would be polite and not start off with a pic of my "man junk".

I don't completely agree with you about number 7 because this is a forum about sex and erotic literature. There are members talking dirty all over this forum and I don't know of any rule that says we are not supposed to.

It almost sounds like you are expecting this to be a dating or friendship site opposed to a forum for sex and erotic literature.

I don't know about you, but I signed up here to talk about sex, exchange ideas and stuff like that. Not to receive dirty PMs from guys who think I care what their penis looks like.

 

[Eilan]

Well I for one have never sent a PM to anyone. However if I did I would be polite and not start off with a pic of my "man junk".

I don't completely agree with you about number 7 because this is a forum about sex and erotic literature. There are members talking dirty all over this forum and I don't know of any rule that says we are not supposed to.

It almost sounds like you are expecting this to be a dating or friendship site opposed to a forum for sex and erotic literature.

Sure, there's no rule that says people can't talk about sex and erotica. However, just because a woman likes to post about these subjects with like-minded individuals doesn't mean that she is willing (or obligated) to privately cyber-entertain any Tom, Limp-Dick, and Hairy who wants pics and dirty talk.

 

[Loverskitten]

Sure, there's no rule that says people can't talk about sex and erotica. However, just because a woman likes to post about these subjects with like-minded individuals doesn't mean that she is willing (or obligated) to privately cyber-entertain any Tom, Limp-Dick, and Hairy who wants pics and dirty talk.

THANK YOU!

 

[silverwhisper]

raddams quoth:
i don't completely agree with you about number 7 because this is a forum about sex and erotic literature. there are members talking dirty all over this forum and i don't know of any rule that says we are not supposed to.

let me put this terms you'll understand.

can you talk with your buddy's gf/wife/sister? absolutely! but would you point to that as a defense for hitting on your friend's girlfriend/wife/sister? fuck no!

to wit: do what you want, but don't fucking whine about any consequences.

ed

 

[firenzi]

I'm not sure that instructions or hints will ever help the PM situation. For every polite, intelligent PM, there will be at least 20 or more that aren't - nothing will ever change that, it's like that everywhere. If someone is so clueless that they need instructions on how to write a normal, coherent email, then you (and me and all of us) probably don't want to be chatting with them in the first place.

It's easy enough to ignore the messages looking for cyber sex or whatever. Respond to the PM's that interest you, and don't get frustrated by the ones that don't.

And, like RAddams said, this is a porn board. Most men come here because they have sex on their minds, and you can't blame them for assuming the women do to. There's nothing wrong with them looking for what they want, and if we're not interested we're not obligated to respond. No point in getting upset about men acting perverted on a porn board

 

[Pleasesuckle]

I think the women here are certainly thinking about sex, too. A PM that is a one sentence message with "I like to be watched, wanna see me cum?", or "I have pics of my cock, wanna see?" is like some complete stranger walking up behind you and jabbing his cock in your ass. Not necessarily a bad thing down the road, but you don't often get that before "Hello".

 

[silverwhisper]

firenzi quoth:
most men come here because they have sex on their minds, and you can't blame them for assuming the women do to.

of the men who actually post: i don't think that's remotely true.

and of the ones who don't: they don't matter.

ed

 

[firenzi]

of the men who actually post: i don't think that's remotely true.

and of the ones who don't: they don't matter.

ed

Okay, fair enough. But regarding PM's, it only makes sense to expect a high volume of sex driven messages on a board like this.

 

[silverwhisper]

while i understand what you're saying, my concern is that it almost sounds like you're saying that it's somehow not a bad thing that it happens. as you might have guessed, i think that just b/c a thing might be common or should be unsurprising, this does nothing IMHO to detract form the fact that it's still a bad thing.

not trying to be argumentative: just explaining my perspective.

ed

 

[RAddams]

If you don't like a PM then don't respond to it and just delete it. It is that simple. What you are talking about is creating rules or a set of guide lines for what is appropriate on this forum.
The lack rules and ability for people to come here and express their desires is what makes this forum so unique. If everyone is has to start following your rules for PMs because you're offend than lets start making rules to not offend everyone.

I see lots of threads on here that are about fantasies such as incest. If everyone should follow your PM rules than lets remove all the incest threads because that is something I am not into. Why stop there is someone is offended by anal sex lets make a rule that no one on here can talk about anal sex anymore.

 

[RAddams]

On second thought I can just ignore the incest threads, and anyone who is not into anal sex can maybe just go comment on threads about other subjects. The question is can you just ignore and delete PMs you don't agree with?

 

[RAddams]

Sure, there's no rule that says people can't talk about sex and erotica. However, just because a woman likes to post about these subjects with like-minded individuals doesn't mean that she is willing (or obligated) to privately cyber-entertain any Tom, Limp-Dick, and Hairy who wants pics and dirty talk.

Again how hard is it to delete a private message?

I don't think much harder than not clicking on threads about subjects I find offensive.

 

[Loverskitten]

If you don't like a PM then don't respond to it and just delete it. It is that simple. What you are talking about is creating rules or a set of guide lines for what is appropriate on this forum.
The lack rules and ability for people to come here and express their desires is what makes this forum so unique. If everyone is has to start following your rules for PMs because you're offend than lets start making rules to not offend everyone.

I see lots of threads on here that are about fantasies such as incest. If everyone should follow your PM rules than lets remove all the incest threads because that is something I am not into. Why stop there is someone is offended by anal sex lets make a rule that no one on here can talk about anal sex anymore.

Whoa.... What the hell are you even talking about?
First read the title "how to GET A REPLY..."
I never said anything about rules..... Or incest.... Or anal
Seriously dude

 

[sereneone4u]

Sure, there's no rule that says people can't talk about sex and erotica. However, just because a woman likes to post about these subjects with like-minded individuals doesn't mean that she is willing (or obligated) to privately cyber-entertain any Tom, Limp-Dick, and Hairy who wants pics and dirty talk.

Hallelujah!

 

[firenzi]

I think the women here are certainly thinking about sex, too. A PM that is a one sentence message with "I like to be watched, wanna see me cum?", or "I have pics of my cock, wanna see?" is like some complete stranger walking up behind you and jabbing his cock in your ass. Not necessarily a bad thing down the road, but you don't often get that before "Hello".

I agree with you it's just that I don't think the guys who do that will change. It's the same as when strangers act inappropriately irl- if someone's beating off on the subway, you just ignore them and move away as far as possible.

while i understand what you're saying, my concern is that it almost sounds like you're saying that it's somehow not a bad thing that it happens. as you might have guessed, i think that just b/c a thing might be common or should be unsurprising, this does nothing IMHO to detract form the fact that it's still a bad thing.

I don't know if I'd call it a bad thing, because it doesn't really have an effect other than the time it takes to click delete. Rude, unpleasant, annoying, gross, etc. etc.? Definitely. But bad? Not unless a PM is threatening in some way, imo.

And no argumentativeness meant on my end, either

 

[emap]

Oddly enough I don't get very many of those cyber PMs. So not complaining and I still won't answer them.

I do on occassion answer the messages I get, when the guy, or gal has a brain. I think the trick to it is simply I have a homepage and guys go to that instead. My homepage is my stories posted here, the guys are thinking about sex, see me and click to open up my name then go to my stories. I don't have to get messages because they are going to my stories and getting satisfaction.

If you are bothered by the cyber creeps simply get a homepage with sex. Doesn't have to be your own stories, you can use anybodies stories. A specific story even, or you can post a homepage of a porn site. Just don't talk about said porn site and you should be fine. I think anyway I haven't read the rules in forever and I'm not sure if it's allowed to homepage a porn site.

 

[Ellafun]

Hi, like many of you I found the forums after reading erotic stories and poems and am here to learn, share and meet new friends. I appreciate PMs but reply VERY infrequently. Here's why...

1) Please spell check, or AT LEAST proof read before you hit send. "A lot" is two words, thanks. I'm admittedly bad at spelling, but come on people.
2) Please have more than a few posts under your belt and if you only have, say 10, they better be informative and not "bump" on your one personal ad post.
3) Do write me something creative!
4) Have I expressed an interest in phone sex? No. Ok, don't ask then. Same for web cam sex.
5) Have I posted pictures of my pussy on here? No. Well then I won't send them to you because you clicked a button near my screen name. I'm sure you can find people that HAVE and will.
6) Please actually have read a couple of my posts before contacting me. I will be curious as to what I posted that piqued your interest.
7) Be polite. Do you go up to strangers on the street and start dirty talking? No? Me neither.

Feel free to add to or share your own lists!

Wow. While I understand your requests for your personal messages, this information is something that would be better posted in your personal profile. If spelling is important to you, you're on the wrong site! What I'm trying to say is lighten up!!!

That being said, you have a whopping 80 posts or something on here, so I'm guessing your a "newbie"; There are ignore features, delete features, edit features...and lots and lots of FAQ pages. You can also turn the PMs off.

There are lots of lonely people out there who are going to just give that "shot in the dark", in the hopes of getting an answer. There are also a couple of really funny threads on the Playground that "roast" the best of the worst PM's...you should look them up! and Welcome!!

 

[Pleasesuckle]

No one is saying you MUST change the things sent in a PM, just that if a "shot in the dark" has a chance to hit its mark then slightly modifying the content would help. So if you want more success, don't go the "cum shot" or "man junk" route right out of the gate. If you don't care either way, then maybe just sending the "sure to lose" PM is a way to get your rocks off.

I'm a noob, too....and I've literally completely deleted the contents of my inbox twice in the last couple of weeks because it got jammed up with such PMs to the point that it was maxed out. Yes, the delete and ignore function works well, but again, if these folks want a response then they're missing the mark, if they don't I'm glad to delete and ignore, but then what's the point?

 

[Ellafun]

No one is saying you MUST change the things sent in a PM, just that if a "shot in the dark" has a chance to hit its mark then slightly modifying the content would help. So if you want more success, don't go the "cum shot" or "man junk" route right out of the gate. If you don't care either way, then maybe just sending the "sure to lose" PM is a way to get your rocks off.

I'm a noob, too....and I've literally completely deleted the contents of my inbox twice in the last couple of weeks because it got jammed up with such PMs to the point that it was maxed out. Yes, the delete and ignore function works well, but again, if these folks want a response then they're missing the mark, if they don't I'm glad to delete and ignore, but then what's the point?

A completely filled-in Profile is very helpful, too, although there is no guarantee that anyone will read it before a PM is sent.