AchtungNight
Lech Master
- Joined
- May 19, 2006
- Posts
- 4,804
How to Drive a Writer Crazy according to one of the more famous and infamous non-classical writers of all time-
1. When he starts to outline a story, immediately give him several stories just like it to read and tell him three other plots. This makes his own story and his feeling for it vanish in a cloud of disrelated facts.
2. When he outlines a character, read excerpts from stories about such characters, saying that this will clarify the writer’s ideas. As this causes him to lose touch with the identity he felt in his character by robbing him of individuality he is certain to back away from ever touching such a character.
3. Whenever the writer proposes a story, always mention that his rate, being higher than other rates of writers in the book, puts up a bar to his stories.
4. When a rumor has stated that a writer is a fast producer, invariably confront him with the fact with great disapproval as it is, of course, unnatural for one human being to think faster than another.
5. Always correlate production and rate, saying that it is necessary for the writer to do better stories than the average for him to get any consideration whatever.
6. It is a good thing to mention any error in a story bought, especially when that error is to be editorially corrected as this makes the writer feel that he is being criticized behind his back and he wonders just how many other things are wrong.
7. Never fail to warn a writer not to be mechanical as this automatically suggests to him that his stories are mechanical and, as he considers this a crime, wonders how much of his technique shows through and instantly goes to much trouble to bury mechanics very deep – which will result in laying the mechanics bare to the eye.
8. Never fail to mention and then discuss budget problems with a writer as he is very interested.
9. By showing his vast knowledge of a field, an editor can almost always frighten a writer into mental paralysis, especially on subjects where nothing is known anyway.
10. Always tell a writer plot tricks as they are not his business.
I trust that all the writers here will have things to add to this list.
1. When he starts to outline a story, immediately give him several stories just like it to read and tell him three other plots. This makes his own story and his feeling for it vanish in a cloud of disrelated facts.
2. When he outlines a character, read excerpts from stories about such characters, saying that this will clarify the writer’s ideas. As this causes him to lose touch with the identity he felt in his character by robbing him of individuality he is certain to back away from ever touching such a character.
3. Whenever the writer proposes a story, always mention that his rate, being higher than other rates of writers in the book, puts up a bar to his stories.
4. When a rumor has stated that a writer is a fast producer, invariably confront him with the fact with great disapproval as it is, of course, unnatural for one human being to think faster than another.
5. Always correlate production and rate, saying that it is necessary for the writer to do better stories than the average for him to get any consideration whatever.
6. It is a good thing to mention any error in a story bought, especially when that error is to be editorially corrected as this makes the writer feel that he is being criticized behind his back and he wonders just how many other things are wrong.
7. Never fail to warn a writer not to be mechanical as this automatically suggests to him that his stories are mechanical and, as he considers this a crime, wonders how much of his technique shows through and instantly goes to much trouble to bury mechanics very deep – which will result in laying the mechanics bare to the eye.
8. Never fail to mention and then discuss budget problems with a writer as he is very interested.
9. By showing his vast knowledge of a field, an editor can almost always frighten a writer into mental paralysis, especially on subjects where nothing is known anyway.
10. Always tell a writer plot tricks as they are not his business.
I trust that all the writers here will have things to add to this list.
