How to describe vaginal penetration

[MarlowBunny]

I am a man. I am clueless. I asked my wife to describe the sensation of vaginal penetration by my penis and/or her realistic (but bigger than me) ribbed purple dildo. She said vaginal penetration feels just like having a finger inserted and wiggled in your ear canal. She said that when properly aroused, it feels the same except you have a nagging itch in your ear canal and the wiggling finger scratches it.

My wife certainly conjured a vivid image for me, and I have asked her to stick a finger in my ear many times since I must say it doesn't do much for me. As an author, I found her description less romantic than i'd hoped. As her lover, I am left somewhat disillusioned and compelled to concentrate on other erogenous zones.

I have read and written many passages about parting folds, entering the sanctum, satisfying a yearning to be filled, feeling split apart, craving penetration, etc. When writing, I imagine that the woman feels something analogous to the delightful friction that I feel on my penis with the added sensation of filling a void and having a rigid base upon which to bare down - clench muscles.

I also admit that from my romantic but ignorant perspective, access to the vagina is a generous offering with almost spiritual connotations mixed with subtle submission. Allowing another person to penetrate your body is surely the most intimate "invasion" of personal space. There is always subconscious risk or joy of potential pregnancy even when higher brain functions tell us it is impossible.

I find myself feeling possessive of access to my lover’s vagina because the level of intimacy _I_ ascribe to her vagina makes me think that the mere sensation of being penetrated by another man is the ultimate betrayal of the distinctive intimacy in our relationship. Isn’t becoming a cuckold the ultimate humiliation for a man?

So, as an author, should I just get over romantic descriptions of vaginal intercourse? Should I write from the female perspective with language I would use to describe having an ear cleaned by a particularly talented q-tip wielding Casanova?

Or does my wife just have really sensitive ear canals?

 

[bronzeage]

Yeah, finger in the ear. That's the model I go with.

 

[MarlowBunny]

Really?

 

[Xiara_Bellafeast]

Hah! Ear canal, that's a new one.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I think she's pulling you leg, well one of them anyway.

I just told my wife what your's said, she laughed really hard for a long time, then said no.

 

[TE999]

That description lends a whole new perspective to the phrase 'Getting it in the ear'.

I think your lady's goofing on you.

 

[MarlowBunny]

Will you offer a description of the sensation? I only ask because I want my fictional creations to be plausible, and I admit to sudden revived curiosity

 

[Stella_Omega]

The vagina doesn't have any nerve endings.

What a woman feels during penetration is pressure on her bladder, pressure on her gspot, pressure on her rectum, pressure on the astonishingly large organ formerly known as the clit-- actually it still is, but if you took your entire penis, shoved it inside of you, and wrapped it around your pelvic openings like a thick muscular blanket--

And the pressure of your pelvis against her labia.

And the contact of your bodies.

And the pounding of your hearts.

And the love in your soul, if you happen to love your partner. Or lust.

The biggest sex action happens in the brain.

Some male poster here, told me to soap up my forefinger while i was in the shower, and pump it in and out of my other fist. he thought that was pretty close analogy to what a penis feels like-- Waddaya think, anything close?

 

[MarlowBunny]

Very well stated! Do you agree with my wife?

The surface of the penis has many nerve endings that lead directly to animal parts of the brain. The analogous nerve endings in a woman are in the clitoris, not the vagina. So i perceive the friction of her clenching velvet folds on my penis as delightful stimulation, but she doesn't get that much from it? She requires separate sensations on her clitoris. What feels good to me is much less good to her unless and until there is additional clitoral stimulation?

 

[lustlit]

Well, some may say there are no nerve endings but some will tell you otherwise. As a writer, I've managed some fruitful conversations with some that loved being candid. Most would say for the first inch or so there certainly are feelings and the best description I can offer is as you said - akin to what you feel in your penis. Mostly, they will describe a sense of the stretch... Maybe size matters and maybe it doesn't, but they do feel the stretch and liken it to a delightful burn.

And they will tell you that clenching is as good for them as it is for you.

That said, I'll look forward to some lady weighing in on that.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Lustlit, you're right-- there are some nerve endings in the entrance to the vag, and in fact, there is as much variation in pussy construction as there is in cocks-- so i wouldn't be surprised at all if some women say they have a lot of feeling.

Let me introduce you to the whole clitoris;
This is what we all know and love as a woman's pussy
http://www.scarleteen.com/sites/files/scarleteen/images/outsidefem.jpg

if the skin were off though, you would see this;
http://www.scarleteen.com/sites/files/scarleteen/images/clitoris.jpg
See those big fat bulbs? They look like they might be filing up the labia, but they are not, they are much deeper in. The labia are just skin and fat, and would be your ballsac if she were you. Those bulbs fill with blood, and correspond to the corpus cavernosum of your dick, which fills up with blood and give you your stiffie. For a woman, they make a nice tight fit for your dick, and close off the urethra, so you don't push germs up in there while you're doing the nasty.

And they are full of those nerve endings that you have on your shaft.

from the side, you can see how those fat bulbs wrap around the vaginal opening;
http://www.gardenoffertility.com/images/hoc-africa/female-repro-side.jpg

Lustlit, that's the organ that's doing the clenching and stretching and burning.

The clit that we see is only the tiniest tip of what looks like a crooked finger. It gets a stiffie too, which is kind of fucked up because that makes that tip pull up inside the body some-- gets harder to stimulate. On the other hand, the stiffness extends to where those two legs are? And right in the crook there, it seems to be, that's where the g-spot is. So the clit and the g-spot are two ends of the same rope of nerves. Maybe. I haven't seen any new papers yet on the subject,and I troll the academic sites pretty regularly.

How much of all of that translates into love-making knowhow-- I dunno. But knowledge is always good, right?

 

[blade_rocknut]

Oh, where I'd be if I'd had that lesson 20 years ago!

 

[MarlowBunny]

Do you find typical literotica narrations of vaginal penetration credible?

Would it be more plausible for the author to write lovingly and exclusively about the sensations of clitoral stimulation followed by basking in the after glow while the male lover gets off via penetration?

Should I get over my unrealistic romantic notions about the significance of penetration?

The real quirk in the male psyche is that betrayal by a lover who had extramarital intercourse is probably perceived as worse than by a lover who had exclusively oral sex even though it seems like the oral sex is the bigger deal.

Thoughts? I am finding this discussion fascinating.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[glynndah]

I'd like to meet your wife.

She wears ear muffs on the first date.

 

[MarlowBunny]

I can ask her to post to this thread. What particularly intrigues about my presentation of her? I only ask because I know that I am inadequate to describe the slightest detail of her complex character, but if I have succeeded in even the slightest measure, I would like to gloat at my accomplishment

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, where I'd be if I'd had that lesson 20 years ago!

Same here, trust me!

Do you find typical literotica narrations of vaginal penetration credible?

Would it be more plausible for the author to write lovingly and exclusively about the sensations of clitoral stimulation followed by basking in the after glow while the male lover gets off via penetration?

Well, it would be a different way to approach it, that's for sure... not your regular lit fare. I do know some lesbians who write that way. On the other hand, women have been known to cum like a banshee from vaginal penetration, soo...

Should I get over my unrealistic romantic notions about the significance of penetration?

The real quirk in the male psyche is that betrayed by a lover who had extramarital intercourse is probably perceived as worse than by a lover who had exclusively oral sex even though it seems like the oral sex is the bigger deal.

Thoughts? I am finding this discussion fascinating.

This-- I couldn't tell you. I don't have a jealousy fetish.

Personally, I think the significance of penetration is more romantic than physical.

To me, sex is sex. If you've had an orgasm in the company of someone else, or with their assistance, you've had sex. A handjob is sex, oral sex is sex, buttfucking is sex, frottage is sex. Kissing until you both cum is sex. PIV (Penis in vagina) is sex.

I don't see the sex as the betrayal, but the sharing of that energy with someone else, that might be. Or telling your lover the secrets of your primary relationship. Fucking all afternoon while I was slaving in the office. That's what would piss me off.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

On the other hand, women have been known to cum like a banshee from vaginal penetration, soo...

*nodding vigorously*

For me it's about pressure and angles... and when you've got the right angle, the harder the better.

Seeing Stella's diagram, it all makes sense now!

 

[Stella_Omega]

*nodding vigorously*

For me it's about pressure and angles... and when you've got the right angle, the harder the better.

Seeing Stella's diagram, it all makes sense now!

How long we've waited for those diagrams, huh?

If I knew this stuff thirty years ago...

 

[sr71plt]

Personally, I think the significance of penetration is more romantic than physical.

I dare say you can say the same about any element of sex acts.

That's why when I'm writing a sex scene, I always have pounding at the back of my brain "the emotions of it, the emotions of it."

 

[sunandshadow]

I come at this question from the opposite direction, as a woman writing what penile stimulation feels like. But I just do it by analogy. Genetically and anatomically the head of the penis corresponds to the clitoris, so I imagine that the two feel roughly the same to their owners. I image that the shaft of the penis and the vaginal canal correspond similarly, and the prostate and the g-spot. Whether this is actually true I couldn't tell you since no one knows what it's like to feel pleasure both with male anatomy and with female anatomy. But by the same token, no one has any evidence that it isn't true. Right or wrong, it seems to generate writing that people like.

Have to say a finger in the ear is a weird metaphor though. It's a lot more like having someone's tongue in your mouth when french kissing. Or a back massage, but like... three people standing back to back so their backs made a tube and the massaging was from the inside. (I loves me a good back massage, lol.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

I dare say you can say the same about any element of sex acts.

That's why when I'm writing a sex scene, I always have pounding at the back of my brain "the emotions of it, the emotions of it."

 

[sr71plt]

I come at this question from the opposite direction, as a woman writing what penile stimulation feels like. But I just do it by analogy. Genetically and anatomically the head of the penis corresponds to the clitoris, so I imagine that the two feel roughly the same to their owners. I image that the shaft of the penis and the vaginal canal correspond similarly, and the prostate and the g-spot. Whether this is actually true I couldn't tell you since no one knows what it's like to feel pleasure both with male anatomy and with female anatomy. But by the same token, no one has any evidence that it isn't true. Right or wrong, it seems to generate writing that people like.

Have to say a finger in the ear is a weird metaphor though. It's a lot more like having someone's tongue in your mouth when french kissing. Or a back massage, but like... three people standing back to back so their backs made a tube and the massaging was from the inside. (I loves me a good back massage, lol.)

Well, plugging away at "it's the emotions" concept, I don't think it really matters to readers of erotica what it scientifically actually feels like or does. What matters is how it arouses the reader's imagination and makes them believe that's how they want to feel--what they want to experience.

 

[Carnevil9]

H.G. Wells never really went to the moon, yet he wrote a very successful novel about it. The lesson? Just make it up!

If that isn't good enough for your sense of artistic integrity, then ask your sweet wifey-poo to penetrate your ass with one of her dildoes. The sensations will probably be close enough to inspire some successful prose.

 

[EmeraldKitten]

@ The finger in the ear thing...
That's not the first time I've seen that, lol.
I read an article in a magazine a few years back that was debating if sex was better for the man or the woman.
The woman's answer was 'stick your finger in your ear. Which feels better- your ear or your finger?'
Maybe she read the same article? LOL.

Penetration = pressure. You 'feel' it right as he's entering you, but after that, it's pressure. Can you feel it sliding in? Yeah. But it's pressure, lol.
Does anyone have a scar? And around the scar you've lost feeling? Around the scars on my stomach- if my boyfriend tickles me, I know he's doing it-
I can feel the pressure of it, but I don't have the sensation on my skin.
Hmm. Is that any better than the ear analogy? LOL.

Ah hell. Penetration is good.

stella, thanks for the diagrams by the way.. I had no idea I'd get so educated this morning!!! lol.