How to debut new fetish to my partner?

[spiidermonkey]

In a few years' time I went from laughing at the idea of a butt plug with an animal tail attached to... well I'm about to own two of them.

And now I'm nervous to introduce the kink to my boyfriend without some kind of preparation or preamble.

Anyone with experience have any advice?

 

[ADevilishAngel]

In a few years' time I went from laughing at the idea of a butt plug with an animal tail attached to... well I'm about to own two of them.

And now I'm nervous to introduce the kink to my boyfriend without some kind of preparation or preamble.

Anyone with experience have any advice?

There are several things I thought I’d never try over the years. Pet play being on of them. I purchased a fox tail and just wore it one day with the BF. That did not go over well for me. He and I were not even close to evenly matched now that I look back at it. I also had a lot of growing and learning to do myself.

Now I would approached it differently. I am much more open to talking about my wants/desires now than I was 5-6 years ago. I find if I’m having trouble with that, writing it out helps me. Then I can say what I need to with confidence. I think open clear conversation and/or negotiation is paramount in this lifestyle.

 

[yukonnights]

It really is all about breaking that glass wall of secrets. In other words, it takes nerve and courage to broach the discussions about sexual kinks/desires. It's easy here where no one really knows us. But the fear of rejection keeps us from opening up to the person closest to us. I've always thought that a 'side-ways' approach is the best way to get the ball rolling — talk about a porn clip you saw, or ask a question about something on the sexual side of life, make a comment about how you read about something sexual. Basically, slowly but thoughtfully try to include "talking about all things sexual" as a part of the life you share with the loved one.

I've discovered that it really does break the ice. But also, I know every person is unique and only you know your boyfriend. Hope this is of some help.

 

[TheWhiteBull]

The amount of prep/preamble needed just depends on the context of what’s already been established in your relationship. For instance, haven’t tried a regular plug with your partner yet? Perfect opportunity to tiptoe in by suggesting something more plain. Already have done? Then that will look quite different. The important thing is just to be open and willing to admit what you like.

 

[Ashesh9]

my erotic confession to my then vanilla wife turned her into Stern domme/Mistress Wif

Dear Spidermonkey:
Ever Since I Read The Gore Vidal Sex Scenes In Myra Beckingridge As A Young Boy I Wanted To Be Spanked By A Dominant Lady. At The Same Time I Also Wanted To Spank The Luscious Buttocks Of A Lady --hard!!!?
As I Grew Older , I Discovered The Prostate Gland And I Developed A Dark, Shameful Desire To Be Finger-fucked/milked By A Dominant Lady Who Wud Force Me To Address Her As Mistress.
Fast Forward To My Growing Up, Becoming A Chartered Accountant, Wooing And Winning An Equally Qualified Lady Chartered Accountant. Actually Since She Is Younger , Started Her Course Later But Qualified Earlier She Is Superior To Me Intellectually.
She Is Vanilla But Grudgingly Accepted Spankings From Me As Long As They Are/were Not Painful. But She Soon Used to Get Bored And Wriggled Off my lap Leaving Me Horny/frustrated.
Meanwhile I Kept My Submissive Desires Hidden. We Suffered A Heartbreaking Trauma And Drew Closer Emotionally In Our 50-s' .
Then I Turned To Spirituality And Our Mutual Hindu Faith. Hinduism Has This Powerful Goddess Kali Who Kicks All The Male Gods' Asses Collectively And Individually And Is Supposed To Be The Creatrix In Our Hindu Philosophy Of The Universe And All Life, Consciousness, Living Creatures Etc.......it Made Me Figure She Had Created Me To Be Secretly Shamefully Submissive As She Had Similarly Made A Huge Number Of Strong Macho Males Who Were Secretly Masochistic Like Count Leopold Von Masoch, Brit Pm Gladstone , Lawrence Of Arabia Etc. So I Figgered I Was Not To Blame For My Shame And One Day I Confessed To My Vanilla Wife My Deep Desire To Be Her Slaveboy Hubby. I Blamed Mistress Kali For Making Me And Multiple Males Submissive Becoz Her Goddesship Needed An Endless Supply Of Slaveboys To Feed Her Need For Power , Glory And Worship!!!?
Now My Vanila Wife Has Strong Feminist Principles And Is A Devout Hindu Who Worships Mistress Laxmi The Goddesss Of Wealth And Prosperity. She Took To Mistressssing Me Like A Duck To Water Or A Feminazi To Femdom!!!!?
Now She Spanks Butt, Finger-fucks/milks Prostate Chakra/center , Rapes My Puny MCPenis With Her Mistress Rod, Gives Me Enemas Whatever I Desire As She Thinks Men Hv Dominated Womyn For Millennia And As The Goddess Gender They Should Punish The Slaveboy Sex And Rule Them Strictly With A Strong Steel Fist In A Velvet Dainty , Ladylike Glove......i Beg Her Majesty To Squeeze My Balls In Exquisite Agony And As I Writhe In Excruciating Painful Penance As My Entitled Toxic Balls Are Squeezed In Her Lovely Hands Surrender Is Soooo Sweeeet!!!?
My Mental Software Was Created By A Goddess/Creatrix So I Am Not Ashamed To Be My Mistress Wife's Slaveboy!!!
For Decades My Respectable , Upright Puritan Wife Hated My Stash Of Pornography But Now She Swears By Femdom Porn And Feels It Has Made Me Submissive And Amenable To The Doctrines Of Feminist Domination/crushing Of Male Dominance !!!!?
And Now For The Kicker When I Respectfully Ask Her Majesty If She Wud Want A Dignified But Hard Spanking/caning She Happily Climbs Over My Lap For Hours On End For Me To Respectfully But Painfully Cane Her Derriere [which Is Gorgeous] !!!!!?
I Also Use The Rattan Cane To Qigong Her Buttocks. Qigong Is A Korean Technique Of Pressing A Finger/digit Or The Cane [ In Our Case] Onto The Bony Joint In The Center Of The Gluteus Maxixmus Muscle And Moving It Clockwise Followed By Counterclockwise .........her Majesty Goes Outta' Her Female Supremacist Mind In Heavenly Pleasure And Is Addicted To Alternate Hard Cane Strokes / Qigong Cirles On Her Majestic Glutes!!!!
So I Am Enjoying Both Being Dominated As Well As Spanking My Queen/Ruler/Mistress Humbly But Hard On Her Voluptious Buttocks!!!!
Hope U Figgered Outta' Way To Confess Deepest Shameful, Secret Desires To Your Bf By Blaming It On Creatress Kali!!!!

 

[Islander55]

I think just easing into the topic. Perhaps bring it up as something you read and see what kind of reaction you get. Too often people forgo fun things just because they are afraid to see if their partner might be interested. It may be tougher for a man to broach a subject but I have found that most men are pretty willing if they might get laid.