How to bathe a cat

[ShamelessFlirt]

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids up.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.
(You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.)

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
THE DOG

 

[celiaKitten]

No! No one is putting me in the toilet, goddamnit! lol

 

[H'venlee]

But they really don't like it!


http://users.viawest.net/~aloomis/graphics/wetcat.jpg

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

ACtually i like to fill the tub to the top and close the glass shower doors and throw the cat over the top, when it stops screaming and making a fuss and starts purring i open the door and let it out

 

[lilfrk]

My cat likes getting in the tub with my daughter. I guess this means the cat is odd like me.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

My cat likes getting in the tub with my daughter. I guess this means the cat is odd like me.

You should really photograph that, it sounds precious!

 

[celiaKitten]

But they really don't like it!


http://users.viawest.net/~aloomis/graphics/wetcat.jpg

Awww! Poor kitty! lol

 

[lilfrk]

I actually think we do have a picture. Maybe not in the tub but sitting right next to her on the edge. The kid is wet and the cat is wet. I'm tellin' ya we're an odd family.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Dont bathe a cat, play with a pussy.

 

[celiaKitten]

Dont bathe a cat, play with a pussy.

Yes! That's so much better!

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

Dont bathe a cat, play with a pussy.

I didn't have a clever letter from a dog about how to do that.

But I like how you think!

 

[cybergirly]

That is so wrong...

yet so funny. Thanks I needed the laugh.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

I didn't have a clever letter from a dog about how to do that.

But I like how you think!

Actually, now that I think about it I see the problem with my sex life!


I'm doing what my dog tells me!
What happened to that other dud who listened to his dog? Charles somebody??

 

[navarre]

*sitting and bandaging his arms*

Hey Shameless,
It really doesn't work.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

*sitting and bandaging his arms*

Hey Shameless,
It really doesn't work.

I'm sorry, I should have specified:

House cat


it doesn't work with pole cats

 

[DevilBoy79]

that was funny, used to have a cat he hated baths, but knew not to act up too much besides vocally or he would get bopped in the head with the plastic cup i used to rinse him, and the sucky part was he had an attitude like mine, so eventually he would get his revenge

 

[navarre]

I'm sorry, I should have specified:

House cat


it doesn't work with pole cats

Thanks for telling me now.

 

[H'venlee]

that was funny, used to have a cat he hated baths, but knew not to act up too much besides vocally or he would get bopped in the head with the plastic cup i used to rinse him, and the sucky part was he had an attitude like mine, so eventually he would get his revenge

Did anyone ever tell you people that cats are self-cleaning??

http://www.iphc.washington.edu/staff/joan/images/BATH.JPG

 

[navarre]

Did anyone ever tell you people that cats are self-cleaning??

http://www.iphc.washington.edu/staff/joan/images/BATH.JPG

Now you tell us!
I used to bathe mine in the laundry tub....untill I tried Shameless' method.

*changing bandages*

 

[cybergirly]

Now you tell us!
I used to bathe mine in the laundry tub....untill I tried Shameless' method.

*changing bandages*

You seem to be hurting yourself alot lately

 

[sunstruck]

I thought this belonged here too.

A Dog's New Year's Resolutions


1. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
3. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
5. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
6. I will not eat the cats' food, before, or after, they eat it.
7. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the
house when I am about to throw up.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
10. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
11. I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose on her bottom
end.
12 . I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
people will think that I am hemorrhaging.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it's raining outside.
15. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is
sitting on the toilet.
16. We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I
hear one on the television.
17. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard
with them.
18. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom or Dad's laps.
19. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
20. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and car registration.

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

Did anyone ever tell you people that cats are self-cleaning??

http://www.iphc.washington.edu/staff/joan/images/BATH.JPG

Then why is that very position so popular with men?

 

[H'venlee]

Then why is that very position so popular with men?

Hmmm..are men supposed to be self-cleaning too?

I would really love to find one if they are. I am really sick of picking up after mine!

 

[navarre]

Hey.....

Not all men are like thet.
This man can and does clean.
Spent the entire day cleaning the apartment I moved out of.
It's SPOTLESS.

 

[H'venlee]

Re: Hey.....

Not all men are like thet.
This man can and does clean.
Spent the entire day cleaning the apartment I moved out of.
It's SPOTLESS.

Umm..want to come do mine too?

Sorry...then you really are an exception.