How To Bathe A Cat

[QuickDuck]

Thoroughly clean the toilet.

Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and be sure to have both lids lifted.

Obtain the cat and soothe him with comforting words while you carry him towards the bathroom.

In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids - you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape. Do not get any part of your body too close to the edges,as the cat's paws will be reaching out, looking for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate, making ample suds in the process. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

Flush the toilet three or four times; this provides a "powerwash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

Have someone open the door to the outside, and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

Stand on top of the toilet and quickly lift both lids. The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will proceed to dry himself in privacy (though he will seem to be hiding).

This is a fool-proof method, and I strongly recommend it.

Sincerely,

-The Dog

 

[intrigued]

uh, oh.

 

[Eumenides]

Dat's just wude! Just cuz you are a meal to cats doesn't mean you should give them swirlies

 

[Monazwx]

 

[Vilac]

I always thought it'd be easier to toss them in a pillowcase, tie a knot on the end...and toss it in the washer.

Permanent Press cycle, of course.



V~

 

[QuickDuck]

I always thought it'd be easier to toss them in a pillowcase, tie a knot on the end...and toss it in the washer.

Permanent Press cycle, of course.



V~

oooo you are going to catlover's hell for that one

 

[Vilac]

oooo you are going to catlover's hell for that one

lol

 

[Trail48]

I always thought it'd be easier to toss them in a pillowcase, tie a knot on the end...and toss it in the washer.

Permanent Press cycle, of course.



V~

I like the toilet for ths wash mode. Save the pillow case for the dryer

 

[DevilBoy79]

that was too damn funny thx needed to laugh

 

[J.B.]

Why do cats run straight in to a huge pile of dirt right after getting their baths?

 

[QuickDuck]

Why do cats run straight in to a huge pile of dirt right after getting their baths?

hehe dogs do it too

 

[J.B.]

but why?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Am I sick in the head for having laughed at this joke?

 

[mbb308]

Am I sick in the head for having laughed at this joke?

I loved it, and I'm a "cat person".

 

[QuickDuck]

but why?

ermm no idea... ever asked your cat?

 

[QuickDuck]

Am I sick in the head for having laughed at this joke?

I hope not, since I did as well

i figure i am just going straight to hell... i will save you a seat

 

[cybergirly]

After having just tried this I have only one question...

How do I stop the gashes on my arms from bleeding?

 

[J.B.]

Stitches may be required….

 

[InnocentAngel81]

come here stinky kitty you havent had a bath except for the times you fall in the tub.

 

[Belledandy]

but why?

Its in their contract?

They must smell like moldy fish heads...or in the case of dogs like dirt and...rotten garbage. To smell like anything else would get them fined by the cat and dog unions.