How to ask for MFM

[PhxGizmo]

One of my 2009 resolutions is to have some new sexual experiences. I've decided I'd like to try a MFM and plan to go to a local swingers club to see if I can find a willing couple.

I particularly want to lick the woman's clitoris while her partner is penetrating her. I suspect this will involve some touching of him and I guess if he is OK with it, I can be too.

My question is you Literoticans who have done this. How do I approach a couple with this suggestion without getting punched in the mouth? Are there any good phrases to use?

Or, is this the kind of thing where the couple usually approaches a guy?

Your good advice, and spicy stories, will be appreciated!

 

[Eilan]

I don't know if you have a certain club in mind, but some swingers' clubs are more open to single and/or bi-curious women than they are to single and/or bi-curious men. It depends on the club, really.

To be honest, as someone who has participated in MFM's/MMF's as the female half of a couple, I would prefer to approach rather than be approached. However, we went the online route and got to know the person first.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think that your plan of hitting a swinger's club is a good one: clearly, the folks who are present are a self-selecting group who're open to the idea, if not the reality. my bet is that interested couples will likely approach you, but i can't imagine that there's any kind of unspoken rule that you shouldn't approach a likely-looking couple.

but outside of that particular setting, i'd recommend steering clear of the idea, to be honest.

 

[SweetErika]

If you're not familiar with swingers and clubs, or have never been to this type of event, read up on typical etiquette (google 'swinging etiquette' and similar; you may also check out SwingersBoard, as it's filled with tons of info and helpful people) and check for specifics on the particular club you're planning on attending (they often have some type of orientation, FAQ, greeter, etc., for newbies).

As with any social situation, be friendly and treat people like people. Introduce yourself, engage in conversation, show an actual interest in learning about people, smile, be confident, give genuine compliments and avoid being one of the creepy guys who immediately jumps to sex, stands by himself and stares at women, approaches every woman/couple thinking one has to say yes, etc. If people are interested, they'll let you know. If they're not, they'll likely politely excuse themselves and/or just flat out tell you they don't feel a connection, at which point you should graciously move on.

In addition to going the club route, you might consider posting good ads on sites like Swinglifestyle, Craigslist and OKCupid, and responding to ads by couples seeking single males. Be honest about who you are and what you're seeking (though you could save the graphic details for interested parties), put real effort into your ads and correspondence and show what you have to offer. When looking for something that can be kind of tough to find, it never hurts to cast a wider net rather than rely on one specific group, club or type of event.

 

[PhxGizmo]

Mfm

Thanks to Eilan, Silverwhisper and Sweet Erica for replying. I appreciate your advice. I see hundreds of views for the question . . .there must be a few more of you with first hand experience to have some advice for me.

 

[silverwhisper]

heh...erika tends to leave little for others to reply to, man.

ed

 

[Loreleis]

I went the online way to meet my needs. I use Adult Friend Finder. I also joined a group on the site that meets regularly in our area.

Good Luck,

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I don't know if you have a certain club in mind, but some swingers' clubs are more open to single and/or bi-curious women than they are to single and/or bi-curious men. It depends on the club, really.

To be honest, as someone who has participated in MFM's/MMF's as the female half of a couple, I would prefer to approach rather than be approached. However, we went the online route and got to know the person first.

This is a very relevant point. I'm sure you will appreciate that there are far more horny men out there seeking new sexual experiences than there are women. People are therefore less likely to respond to you so don't get too discouraged when you find the playingfield levelled against you. Many swingers clubs only accept couples rather than singles.

As Erika said, you will have to be very careful about etiquette as men are generally more sanguine about sharing their partner with a woman than another man. If you are not bi-curious and only interested in the other guy from a voyeuristic perspective, you're even less likely to be successful. What you need to focus on here is what you can bring to a MFM experience, not merely what you seek to get from it. Sit down and ask yourself why an established couple would want to include you in their sex life and go from there.

 

[PhxGizmo]

Mfm

Velvet:

Your advice is significant:

"What you need to focus on here is what you can bring to a MFM experience, not merely what you seek to get from it. Sit down and ask yourself why an established couple would want to include you in their sex life and go from there."

With lots of supply (guys seeking an MFM) and less demand (couples looking for an MFM), it really is a "marketing" thing. I get it.

Thanks.

So couples? What do you seek out in a guy? What do you want them to bring to the table . . .errr, bed . . .

 

[ZoeBird]

To be honest, as someone who has participated in MFM's/MMF's...

This might be a stupid question, but what is the different between a MFM and a MMF threesome?

 

[rob35can]

mfm - would be usually no sexual male contact
mmf - would imply that the guys are bi, bi-curious or bi friendly.

 

[ZoeBird]

mfm - would be usually no sexual male contact
mmf - would imply that the guys are bi, bi-curious or bi friendly.

Ah, ok. That makes sense. Thanks!

 

[JHarrison01]

If you live near a larger city, try Craigslist under Casual Encounters MF4M. In my area there are no fewer than three posts per day of couples looking for a straight or bi-male.

You can also post your own ad under M4MF with a description of exactly what you want to do. Be erotic and sensual in your description - many of the ads are read by women.

I also recommend posting a body picture revealing as much as makes you comfortable. Picture ads always get more responses.

 

[PhxGizmo]

Mfm

Per SweetErica's advice, I've posted my profile on OKCupid. We'll see how it works. . . I'll report back!