How should I pay to lose my virginity?

[Ladyrookie123]

So not true ... some are fine with anal, others not, and that goes for almost any sex act you can think of. Where are you 'hearing' this stuff from? Because it's clearly not from sex workers.

Preferences I'm speaking of in this case, are preferences to who they would allow to have sex with them even if they have money to pay. I wasn't talking about sexual preferences or sexual rules that must be obeyed.

 

[KimGordon67]

Um....when you're married absolutely it would be considered immoral to have paid sex with other people as much as it would be wrong to cheat on your husband. UNLESS your husband is consenting to it.

Sigh ... I wasn't suggesting that happened while I was married. I was just comparing one context with another.

 

[KimGordon67]

Preferences I'm speaking of in this case, are preferences to who they would allow to have sex with them even if they have money to pay. I wasn't talking about sexual preferences or sexual rules that must be obeyed.

Actually, in a protected industry, the workers have total say over who they have sex with. If they're in a brothel, any good manager would enforced that. If they're on the street, they just say 'no'.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

I get what you were saying, and I wasn't pointing fingers at you, I was just saying there are situations where one act clearly has the potential to definitely be worse than the other.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

Actually, in a protected industry, the workers have total say over who they have sex with. If they're in a brothel, any good manager would enforced that. If they're on the street, they just say 'no'.

Soooo even if I go to a brothel or even a prostitute on the street and I have money to pay there's still a chance I could get turned down for something as simple as "I wasn't their type"?

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm just going to be quite clear that this is something I know a fair bit about, and it's knowledge that's backed up by actual research with people working in the actual sex industry. You can argue all you want, but I'm pretty sure you're coming from a less informed perspective. So you could argue the point with me, or take this as an opportunity to learn something about a service that could actually be useful to you. Your choice.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

I'm just going to be quite clear that this is something I know a fair bit about, and it's knowledge that's backed up by actual research with people working in the actual sex industry. You can argue all you want, but I'm pretty sure you're coming from a less informed perspective. So you could argue the point with me, or take this as an opportunity to learn something about a service that could actually be useful to you. Your choice.

I'm now more concerned about the possibility even if I reach the point of giving up and paying for it that I could still be turned down cold even if I have money by said sex workers.

 

[KimGordon67]

Soooo even if I go to a brothel or even a prostitute on the street and I have money to pay there's still a chance I could get turned down for something as simple as "I wasn't their type"?

I would think any professional would probably have a better reason than that, like a known history of violence, or clearly high levels of intoxication. If they were only going to have sex with 'their type', they wouldn't be in the job very long, because they just wouldn't earn enough money.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

I would think any professional would probably have a better reason than that, like a known history of violence, or clearly high levels of intoxication. If they were only going to have sex with 'their type', they wouldn't be in the job very long, because they just wouldn't earn enough money.

So they couldn't turn down a client for something as simple as just the guy not being their type? Well good then that's all I needed to know.

But Oh? So brothels run a background check on ALL their clients? Doesn't that sound dangerous?

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm now more concerned about the possibility even if I reach the point of giving up and paying for it that I could still be turned down cold even if I have money by said sex workers.

Sigh ... well, I offered. If you want to perpetually find reasons to not do something, as has been pointed out numerous times, there's not much anyone can do to help. Good luck with the whole deflowering project, but I have to say, I'm not wildly optimistic.

 

[Bramblethorn]

But this is a matter of selling your body to total strangers for money something FAR more personal than being a doctor or a teacher.

"Selling your body" is one of those tropes that really needs to die. A sex worker does not "sell" their body; they retain ownership of it at all times. Do we accuse soccer players of "selling their feet"?

...and you're vastly underestimating how personal medicine and teaching can be.

It's not exactly an easy thing for most people to say with pride that they enjoy it for the sake of helping others.

Gosh. I wonder if that just might have something to do with all the people who keep insisting that sex work is a terrible thing and 'whores' are bad people?

Are you talking about the ones who are self employed or the ones who are working at an establishment or is being worked by a pimp?

Any or all of the above. (And if your only knowledge of pimps is the "predator who beats up his women and takes all their money" stereotype, you might want to do some reading; real life is more complicated than that.)

Either way about the only preferences I hear sex workers enforce are either the no kissing rule, always wear a condom, no credit cards and only those rules. I don't think many outside of someone who looks dangerous or is on heavy drugs don't have any preferences to who they'd accept money from to have sex with.

How many sex workers have you talked to (or read) in coming to these conclusions?

 

[Ladyrookie123]

Sigh ... well, I offered. If you want to perpetually find reasons to not do something, as has been pointed out numerous times, there's not much anyone can do to help. Good luck with the whole deflowering project, but I have to say, I'm not wildly optimistic.

And your words have been noted, like I said the prostitute idea will just be a final resort and so long as they're unable to refuse me for petty reasons that's good enough.

 

[KimGordon67]

So they couldn't turn down a client for something as simple as just the guy not being their type? Well good then that's all I needed to know.

But Oh? So brothels run a background check on ALL their clients? Doesn't that sound dangerous?

I'm going to assume this is a genuine question. To the best of my knowledge, no, there are no background checks - who has the time or resources for that, and what background check would show someone up as 'prone to hitting prostitutes'?. But in a small community (like sex workers), I'm pretty sure certain clients get a reputation for things like violence (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who know better), and eventually are effectively black listed. It's not good for the workers or the bosses for people to get beaten up. I do know our local 'union' (for want of a better word) has a blacklist of car registration numbers etc to avoid.

 

[KimGordon67]

And your words have been noted, like I said the prostitute idea will just be a final resort and so long as they're unable to refuse me for petty reasons that's good enough.

I didn't say they were unable to - I said it was extremely unlikely, otherwise they wouldn't stay in business long.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

How many sex workers have you talked to (or read) in coming to these conclusions?

I only knew one...and she was also a stripper...and she would also "sell her body" on the side for a mere 99 bucks. She was a nice girl too surprisingly.

Gosh. I wonder if that just might have something to do with all the people who keep insisting that sex work is a terrible thing and 'whores' are bad people?

Well with all the diseases,filth and sometimes death you can get from that kind of life it's not unreasonable for alot of people to not have a high opinion of the profession in this day and age.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

I'm going to assume this is a genuine question. To the best of my knowledge, no, there are no background checks - who has the time or resources for that, and what background check would show someone up as 'prone to hitting prostitutes'?. But in a small community (like sex workers), I'm pretty sure certain clients get a reputation for things like violence (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who know better), and eventually are effectively black listed. It's not good for the workers or the bosses for people to get beaten up. I do know our local 'union' (for want of a better word) has a blacklist of car registration numbers etc to avoid.

Well then since I'm clean,have no criminal records, and don't have a bad reputation then I shouldn't have any problems with prostitutes turning me down.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm just going to leave this here, not because I'm suggesting you're disabled at all, but because it might help dispel some of your notions about 'whores'.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/sex/life-as-a-sex-worker-for-people-with-disabilities/news-story/99e9327521651f8688acfb267f3bce3b

 

[Bramblethorn]

So they couldn't turn down a client for something as simple as just the guy not being their type? Well good then that's all I needed to know.

More "wouldn't" than "couldn't".

But Oh? So brothels run a background check on ALL their clients? Doesn't that sound dangerous?

We're not talking about pulling somebody's criminal record here. We're talking "this guy has a reputation for being rough so we don't want his business". And not just for previous behaviour at that brothel, either; sex workers compare notes on clients who might be dangerous.

SWs and brothel security also tend to be pretty good at recognising people who are intoxicated/drugged/etc. and likely to cause trouble.

 

[KimGordon67]

I only knew one...and she was also a stripper...and she would also "sell her body" on the side for a mere 99 bucks. She was a nice girl too surprisingly.

She didn't sell her body - she was paid for providing a service.

 

[Bramblethorn]

But in a small community (like sex workers), I'm pretty sure certain clients get a reputation for things like violence (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who know better), and eventually are effectively black listed. It's not good for the workers or the bosses for people to get beaten up. I do know our local 'union' (for want of a better word) has a blacklist of car registration numbers etc to avoid.

Yep. I'm aware of various methods that SWs use to warn one another about dangerous clients, but my understanding is that they would prefer those methods not to be publicised so I won't go into details here.

Well with all the diseases,filth and sometimes death you can get from that kind of life it's not unreasonable for alot of people to not have a high opinion of the profession in this day and age.

Fun fact: sex workers in the legal Australian industry tend to have LOWER rates of sexual diseases than the general population, because they're well informed about infection prevention.

Soldiers, coal miners, and lumberjacks have a relatively high risk of getting killed on the job, but nobody seems to pass judgement on them on that account. So the idea that this stigma comes from the job being dangerous doesn't make sense. Sex work becomes dangerous BECAUSE it's stigmatised, and stigmatisation has very bad consequences.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

^Service that requires the sexual use of your body......

Okay Why are these specific choice of words so difficult for people to accept?

 

[Ladyrookie123]

More "wouldn't" than "couldn't".



We're not talking about pulling somebody's criminal record here. We're talking "this guy has a reputation for being rough so we don't want his business". And not just for previous behaviour at that brothel, either; sex workers compare notes on clients who might be dangerous.

SWs and brothel security also tend to be pretty good at recognising people who are intoxicated/drugged/etc. and likely to cause trouble.

And I'm saying as someone who's NEVER been to a brothel or had a prosituite I wouldn't be someone they could just turn down so easily and that's what I was asking.

 

[Ladyrookie123]

Fun fact: sex workers in the legal Australian industry tend to have LOWER rates of sexual diseases than the general population, because they're well informed about infection prevention.

In most general states in the U.S. that's not the case here and that's precisely why so many people myself included are hesitant about using their services

 

[KimGordon67]

And I'm saying as someone who's NEVER been to a brothel or had a prosituite I wouldn't be someone they could just turn down so easily and that's what I was asking.

Again, someone they 'would' turn down, rather than 'could'. I think you're probably good to go though - just don't be outrageously drunk, stoned, or beat anyone up.

 

[Nezhul]

I'm still confused about Unicorn colors. I'd like to ride a black one.

I heard black unicorns are nasty and can bite you. It's only after they are washed with Bleach they turn white and pacified.

I recently watched a personal ad by a virginal man that just wanted a woman to basically be a limp doll that he could visit, not talk to her or really treat her like a person, stare at her and fondle her like an experiment and then leave. He's too shy or something and felt this scenario would help him get over his insecurities. A lot of people told him he was expecting way too much but he insisted this could totally work. The shocker: a gorgeous woman that is into dollification actually offered (with a chaperone) to let him do this. The real shocker: he turned her down for being over 40. The woman was in better shape than most 20 year olds I know. Everyone just couldn't believe he got a one in a million chance and he didn't take it.

That day I felt like flipping a table over the madness I had witnessed.

Wow...
This seems like something straight out of fairy tail or some cheap TV-show.

Why don't plumbers fix toilets for people for free? I vote for slutty plumbers that fix my toilets for free.

Just like girls that want you simply for the fact of your existence, those can be found only in porn. Or maybe a few - in jail for sexual assaults =)

Same reason why prostitution isn't considered a respectable and legal CAREER in most countries.

I'mm shock you now, but it isn't considered a respectable career not because it's BAD.
It was made to be bad by religion, and nothing more. And governments are just lagging behind and being conservative about things like sex - not because the majority really thinks that sex industry is the pure evil, but because voicing another opinion is scary and they could lose their position.

Also I was severely depressed and close to being suicidal

Awww poor baby....

-_- Girls just don't like the idea of being considered "loose" or "easy"

Who does? Men too want to be considered confident and reliable.