How should I continue this?

[NoJo]

I'm working on a new story about a bored married couple who decide to try writing a computer program together to spice up their relationship. I'm not sure sure how to go on with the story however:

if (_PlayHead == ins->next) {
    SetNextActionTime(ins->GetTime() - ins->prev->GetTime());
    _PlayHead = ins;
}

What do you think? Is there enough action? Have I spent too long on the characters?

 

[Pookie]

The action is very good. I like the descriptions without getting into all of the physical attributes, like some authors do. I feel like I have known the characters all my life. I wouldn't change much about that. Maybe you could show more of their emotions, but don't get too bogged down in all of that.

But don't you think the paragraphs are too long?


Pookie

 

[MathGirl]

if (_PlayHead == ins->next) {
SetNextActionTime(ins->GetTime() - ins->prev->GetTime());
_PlayHead = ins;

Dear SubJoe,

ROFLMAO!! The part about the three balled bandicoot was priceless. Keep up the good work, but watch the punctuation.

MG

 

[NoJo]

Thanks for the feedback. PG , as usual, your insight is valuable and sharp.
Thinking it over, I should really have initiliazied my pointers earlier, because it's hard to really get the motivation the way it reads. I guess I just got too caught up.


MG, well spotted. No wonder I was getting syntax errors when I tried to compile the story.

I have an ending for the story, but it's a little harsh, and may mean having to submit elsewhere, e.g. allextreme.com:

if (!_isValid())
   throw "Unknown Error, possibly invalid range";
else
   return 0;

 

[MathGirl]

if (!_isValid())
   throw "Unknown Error, possibly invalid range";
else
   return 0;

Good luck on getting that piece of filth published ANYWHERE! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Whenever I'm confronted with a dilemma, I ask myself, "WWSJD?"
What would SubJoe do? Then I do the opposite. Works for me.

MG

 

[Pookie]

I am outraged!!!

Pervert.


Pookie

 

[pop_54]

Hmmm

Thanks for the feedback. PG , as usual, your insight is valuable and sharp.
Thinking it over, I should really have initiliazied my pointers earlier, because it's hard to really get the motivation the way it reads. I guess I just got too caught up.


MG, well spotted. No wonder I was getting syntax errors when I tried to compile the story.

I have an ending for the story, but it's a little harsh, and may mean having to submit elsewhere, e.g. allextreme.com:

if (!_isValid())
   throw "Unknown Error, possibly invalid range";
else
   return 0;

Bit over the top Joe, but at least it's not an 'illegal operation' or the 'blue screen of death'.
I think you're going to have problems posting it here as you say though, was it really that long and fat?

 

[gauchecritic]

Just a bit too basic for me Joe. Could only give it a C++. Get yourself a nice cup of Java and get yourself out of the loop.

Gauche

 

[Pookie]

Just a bit too basic for me Joe. Could only give it a C++. Get yourself a nice cup of Java and get yourself out of the loop.

Gauche

I just love it when you talk dirty.


Pookie

 

[TheEarl]

SubJoe, you're making it way too complicated. Use the form of talking to a computer that everyone knows.

<Whack>"Stop fucking about you bastard collection of bolts. Do as I fucking well tell you. <Thud. Clatter> Oh no, don't do that. Don't do that!. I'm warning you. I know where your off switch is. Oh you fucking bastard. <CAAATHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD>

There. I think we understand one another.

The Earl

 

[KillerMuffin]

You definitely should continue that. You can use & n b s p ; to create the indents.

Submit it as a poem to Lit.

I did that to mine.



Though I'd hate to have MG look mine over. The errors she might find. Oooh.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm working on a new story about a bored married couple who decide to try writing a computer program together to spice up their relationship. I'm not sure sure how to go on with the story however:

if (_PlayHead == ins->next) {
    SetNextActionTime(ins->GetTime() - ins->prev->GetTime());
    _PlayHead = ins;
}

What do you think? Is there enough action? Have I spent too long on the characters?

You're trying to get to me for my word jokes, aren't ya?