How Ramlick Plays Football?

[Ramlick's Troll]

Old man Ramlick and his wife have gone to bed. After lying in bed for a few minutes Ramlick cuts a fart, raises his arms and screams, "Seven points."

His wife wondering WTF, rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

Ramlick, sitting up with his arms raised as if he scored, yells, "Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing, bitch."

Well, Ramlick's wife, remembering his vaunted lovemaking techniques of the night before decides she is going to join in. A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown. Tie score, needledick."

This just does not set well with the Ramlickmeister. After about ten minutes, old man Ramlick farts again, raises his arms in victory and hollers, "Touchdown. Now, I'm ahead 14 to 7, you c#%*."

Now, starting to get into this, Ramlick's wife quickly farts again and says,"Touchdown. Tie score, you clitoris-less wonder."

Well, as you can imagine, this burns the old man Ramlick's butt. Now way is he going to be outdone by a mere woman. Old man Ramlick strains really hard but, to no avail, he can't fart. Not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart.

So straining real hard, the old man Ramlick, trying real hard to score, poops in the bed. The wife looking really disgusted asks, "Now what in the world was that?"


Old man Ramlick screams,


"Half-time, bitch! Switch sides!"

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

um......

first response...WTF!

second response...WTF x2

Third response....LMMFAO!!!!!!!! what the hell brought this on, goodness, i just wound down for bed and now i am laughing too hard to sleep.

 

[Deborah]

Now wait just one fucking minute, don't you have to have balls to play football?

 

[Ramlick]

Bravo!!!!!

Truly one of the finest (and funniest) works of erotic fiction I've seen in a long time! I laughed so hard I farted. I'm honored to have been the protagonist.

You must publish more. But use your real name. Don't be so modest. Such talent needs to be recognized.

 

[Jade]

tee hee hee hee hee

 

[Guest]

I feel like a mushroom...who is this ramlick guy, a football player or some fictional character?

 

[Deborah]

Ramlick is the only living abortion. Ask Al Gore. He delivered him.

 

[Ramlick's Troll]

Ramlick and thinking

A German, an Italian and 'Ramlick' were on death row.


The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1.. To be shot
2.. To be hung
3.. To be injected with the A.I.D.S. virus.


So the German being a brave and honorable person said, "Shoot me right in the head. (Boom he was dead
instantly.)


Then the Italian, also willing to face death bravely, said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)


Then 'Ramlick' says, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff, arseholes." They gave him the shot, and Ramlick fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.


Then 'Ramlick', still laughing says, "Give me another one of those shots, you bastards." So the guards did.


Now Mr. Ramlick was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. So finally the warden said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ramlick replies through tears of laughter, "You guys are so fucking stupid......

Can't you see I'm wearing a condom!"

 

[LAVA GODDESSS]

WHOA

i told myself not to come in here, i HAVE to go to bed, but do i listen? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...and now i have to go wind down again...you are fucking hilarious...pardon me french...but hey, i want a funny troll too!!! keep it up, and i know i wont be able to resist tommorrow to check back...ramlick can i borrow your troll???

 

[Ramlick]

No, I'm sorry. He's MY troll. I've earned him. You must go earn yours.

 

[Ramlick]

Here trollie trollie. Here trollie trollie...

Hmmm, now where has that troll gone to?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

But.........

How do you kick a field goal?????

 

[Guest]

Ramlick is a nasty boy,
A computer is his only toy,
He thrives on causing people strife,
He has no balls in real life,

His weinie is so very small,
He threatens from behind a wall,
His posts are always grim and dark,
He even hates his trailer park,

Could he, woody with a dog?
Goody, goody 'nother hog,
Ramlick finally found his niche,
He sixty-nines a collie bitch,

He's a troll like you and me,
Except he sniffs and drinks his pee,
His filthy mouth reveals his brains,
His "Underoos" have poopy stains,

His posts lack humor, his posts lack wit,
With women posters, a great big hit,
A happy man he'll never be,
Ramlick couldn't outwit a tree.

 

[Ramlick]

Dr. Seuss,

You're last poem was a major disappointment. Leave the trolling to the professionals.

 

[Ramlick's Troll]

Re: But.........

How do you kick a field goal?????

http://a1060.g.akamai.net/f/1060/597/30minutes/www.zing.com/picture/pda7ef5520c1390e8587753d4d41290b7/ff5062aa.jpg.orig.jpg



(Ramlick thinking he's between the uprights, hollers)

I scored! I scored you dumb bitch! Thats three points for meeeeeeeeee. Yes....yes....yes.....



do a little dance....
make a little love......
get down tonight....


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........



[Edited by Ramlick's Troll on 10-12-2000 at 05:34 PM]