How often does LIT spark the conversation?

[Bobmi357]

You know what I mean. You're surfing the boards and suddenly you run across something that never occured to you and it results in having one of those deep sexually related conversations with your SO. The kind that last a copy of hours.

Do you point out interesting threads on lit to your SO just to see what kind of reaction you might get? (I sometimes do, I'll admit it)

I'll freely admit that sometimes I have problems telling my wife things of a sexual nature. I think its silly, but its the way I am. I mean for christs sake, she's had my family jewels in her mouth, how more initimate can you get? But talking to her??!? Its like a whole other story. I don't have a problem really with talking to her, its more like in just starting the conversation. Once it gets going, it goes fine.

We tend to have what I call a sexual reality check conversation every couple of months. Its a time where we talk about things we'd like to improve, or change, or just talk about. Maybe its one of the reasons we seem to have such a stable relationship, but it works for us. The funny thing is now days they seem to be sparked by items found here where before hand they just seemed to happen.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I share most of my conversations on lit with my lover. He's on some speed boat board and he keeps me updated too. I think the speed boaters talk about sex as much as the Lit-sters do! lol But I have learned some wonderful things here and by passing them along to my lover I can get his reaction. You're right - its an easy way to bring up interesting suggestions without actually having to voice the desire. Chicken way out maybe - but it works for us! lol Its much easier to do via email - at least to get an initial reaction - than face to face. What's really cool is sometimes right in the middle of sex he'll say something like 'let's try that thing you emailed me yesterday'! That's fun!

 

[DirtyJJ]

You know what I mean. You're surfing the boards and suddenly you run across something that never occured to you and it results in having one of those deep sexually related conversations with your SO. The kind that last a copy of hours.

Do you point out interesting threads on lit to your SO just to see what kind of reaction you might get? (I sometimes do, I'll admit it)

I'll freely admit that sometimes I have problems telling my wife things of a sexual nature. I think its silly, but its the way I am. I mean for christs sake, she's had my family jewels in her mouth, how more initimate can you get? But talking to her??!? Its like a whole other story. I don't have a problem really with talking to her, its more like in just starting the conversation. Once it gets going, it goes fine.

We tend to have what I call a sexual reality check conversation every couple of months. Its a time where we talk about things we'd like to improve, or change, or just talk about. Maybe its one of the reasons we seem to have such a stable relationship, but it works for us. The funny thing is now days they seem to be sparked by items found here where before hand they just seemed to happen.

I am relatively new here, but I have found lots of things on these boards that I would like to talk to my husband about, and I am sort of trying to figure out how to approach it. Lit definitely gives me things to think about, and while hubby and I are pretty open about sex, I want to figure out how to bring up some things without making it like a laundry list of things I want more of (dirty talk, oral, domination, help with G-spot, etc.)

You are right - it IS hard to start the conversation. I often think we have to be in bed to talk about anything sexual, but I know that is not really the case. I really like your idea of having a talk on a regular basis... people change, needs change - I know mine have and I want to tell him, and of course I want to hear about his needs too!

 

[ReadyOne]

I will occasionally bring up something in conversation that I have found while surfing lit. Can't do too much of it because my SO wants strict limits on how much, where, and especially how I surf. Places like lit scare her when she thinks I'm spending enough time here that I might get interested in cybering or somesuch.

But there are good conversations fueled from lit every couple of weeks...

 

[ReadyOne]

And how many have found a short story on Lit that just seems to fit as a suggestion of what you'd like to have happen, then printed it out for your SO?

 

[Bobmi357]

And how many have found a short story on Lit that just seems to fit as a suggestion of what you'd like to have happen, then printed it out for your SO?

I have to admit I read very few of the stories on lit. For some reason most of them strike me as something written by a teenage author.

I read quite a lot of stuff, but erotic literature seems to follow porn movies in as much as its a barely developed plot wrapped around a ton of sex.

Couple years back I tried my hand at writing a short story only to see if I could. I never finished it, but it turned out to have more story line than sex. Maybe someday I'll finish it, its sort of a sci-fi/sex/aliens fighting the humans sort of thingie.

 

[Bobmi357]

You're right - its an easy way to bring up interesting suggestions without actually having to voice the desire. Chicken way out maybe - but it works for us! lol

Interesting post Crazy. I'm wondering tho, is the reason why we find it hard to start a conversation because deep down we might feel like it would sound like we're complaining?

If you think about it, you may end seeing it. Most conversations of this nature are to bring up things we'd like to add to our sex life. But if you bring them up clear out of the blue, might your SO not think that you're complaining that something is missing from your sex life? ROFL Confusing isn't it?

 

[SexyChele]

I've tried to get my S/O interested in the boards, but so far the only thing he's interested in is when I've put up a new story. Every once in a while I'll bring up a topic that I've read here and he'll chuckle and say something like, "So you been surfing again, huh?" He's never mentioned anything like jealousy (should I be worried?), but then maybe he just knows me very well. If I mention trying something new, he just laughs and makes a comment about me looking at porn sites again. (Even when I haven't - I swear!)

 

[BTK51]

Re: Re: How often does LIT spark the conversation?

I am relatively new here, but I have found lots of things on these boards that I would like to talk to my husband about, and I am sort of trying to figure out how to approach it. Lit definitely gives me things to think about, and while hubby and I are pretty open about sex, I want to figure out how to bring up some things without making it like a laundry list of things I want more of (dirty talk, oral, domination, help with G-spot, etc.)

You are right - it IS hard to start the conversation. I often think we have to be in bed to talk about anything sexual, but I know that is not really the case. I really like your idea of having a talk on a regular basis... people change, needs change - I know mine have and I want to tell him, and of course I want to hear about his needs too!

 

[BTK51]

I've tried to get my S/O interested in the boards, but so far the only thing he's interested in is when I've put up a new story. Every once in a while I'll bring up a topic that I've read here and he'll chuckle and say something like, "So you been surfing again, huh?" He's never mentioned anything like jealousy (should I be worried?), but then maybe he just knows me very well. If I mention trying something new, he just laughs and makes a comment about me looking at porn sites again. (Even when I haven't - I swear!)

Same thing happens to me, SC. Sometimes, after a particularly satisfying night or a fun discussion she'll say something like "you just keep surfing". I almost got her interested once, but the damn Cable went down.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Interesting post Crazy. I'm wondering tho, is the reason why we find it hard to start a conversation because deep down we might feel like it would sound like we're complaining?

If you think about it, you may end seeing it. Most conversations of this nature are to bring up things we'd like to add to our sex life. But if you bring them up clear out of the blue, might your SO not think that you're complaining that something is missing from your sex life? ROFL Confusing isn't it?

I'm not at all worried he'd think I was complaining. (damn - there's nothing to complain about there!) I'm worried he'll think I've gotten too kinky! Or I'll suggest something he thinks is icky and then I'll feel weird. This way I can email him a link I think might be interesting. Sometimes he doesn't comment on it at all - but the next time we're together he will. Other times he'll write back with his thoughts on the suggestion. Its still fun as hell swapping sexy stories/ideas during work. Sure makes the time go faster! lol

 

[BTK51]

Re: Re: How often does LIT spark the conversation?

I am relatively new here, but I have found lots of things on these boards that I would like to talk to my husband about, and I am sort of trying to figure out how to approach it. Lit definitely gives me things to think about, and while hubby and I are pretty open about sex, I want to figure out how to bring up some things without making it like a laundry list of things I want more of (dirty talk, oral, domination, help with G-spot, etc.)

You are right - it IS hard to start the conversation. I often think we have to be in bed to talk about anything sexual, but I know that is not really the case. I really like your idea of having a talk on a regular basis... people change, needs change - I know mine have and I want to tell him, and of course I want to hear about his needs too!

Don't know what happened but I just realized nothing got posted earlier. I'll try this again:

I am relatively new to Lit as well. I use lit posts & stories to bring up topics too. We have always been fairly open about sex as well but it's tough to get the conversation started. I never figured out why either.

One way I found that works for us is to discuss this in the bath tub. We've always enjoyed baths togteher but about 3 years ago we added a master bathroom to our bedroom and put a jet-tub in. When the conversation on sex seems awkward or I get too many "not now's" all I have to do is suggest a bath and massage and PRESTO, we're on the same page. It has led to some very sensual discussions and new things in our sex life. Guess there must be something about being naked in the water while washing each other with soap and bath oils that allows us to relax and really open up. Weird, huh?

My suggestion is to find a time and place where you're both relaxed and can bring these topics up without fear of making them a laundry list. Oh, and a nice glass of wine seems to help too.

 

[BTK51]

Chicken way out maybe - but it works for us! lol Its much easier to do via email - at least to get an initial reaction - than face to face.

I don't think it is the "chicken way" at all. Hell the important thing is to make it happen and cudos that it works. Better than the alternative.

Also, email is probably a great vehicle for that too. We use it when we are having one of those intense arguments where we both know we're not listeneing to the other but we also know it's time to start listening.