How much can I fight back?

[sweetlittleass]

HELP!!! I met this totally amazing guy last night and he's definately the dom in the mix... we've discussed fantasies and one of them is a rape scene on me... but I don't know how much I"m allowed to fight back when it happens. I want to please him and I'm relatively new to the whole sub/dom scene - so I'm not sure if I can ask him... Help?

Thanks!

Baby

 

[cymbidia]

Listen: you need to talk to him.

Let me repeat that in another way:
If you're going to get naked with him and let him be rough with you and maybe put you into bondage, blindfold you, use your body in any way he likes, and and do it in a way that fels kinda scary-arousing, then you have to talk to him about this before you actually do it.

If he's a Dominant, or if he's even a halfway decent Top, he needs to know what you want and need and fear and would hate BEFORE your clothes come off.

You OWE him that info. It's a way of keeping you both safe and insuring the sex between you is hot and wet and hard and exciting - and not scary-bad and hurtful.

Talk to him.
Ask him.

If you feel you can't talk to him, the one you'll be doing all this with, then i think you should reconsider doing it. Put it off until you're more comfy with him, maybe,until after you can talk to him about stuff like this.

 

[AnonymousSlave]

It's worth repeating!!!

Listen: you need to talk to him.

Let me repeat that in another way:
If you're going to get naked with him and let him be rough with you and maybe put you into bondage, blindfold you, use your body in any way he likes, and and do it in a way that fels kinda scary-arousing, then you have to talk to him about this before you actually do it.

If he's a Dominant, or if he's even a halfway decent Top, he needs to know what you want and need and fear and would hate BEFORE your clothes come off.

You OWE him that info. It's a way of keeping you both safe and insuring the sex between you is hot and wet and hard and exciting - and not scary-bad and hurtful.

Talk to him.
Ask him.

If you feel you can't talk to him, the one you'll be doing all this with, then i think you should reconsider doing it. Put it off until you're more comfy with him, maybe,until after you can talk to him about stuff like this.

Yea... what she said!!!

 

[morninggirl5]

I read the first line of your post three times to make sure i was comprehending correctly.

You just met this man last night? If you don't feel comfortable discussing your limits and expectations with him, you certainly shouldn't be contemplating being involved in a rape scene.

Take a few steps back, get ahold of your self, and think with the rational parts of you. It's really hard to do that, i know, when you're excited about someone new, but we have to do it that way.

 

[RisiaSkye]

I just want to echo what others have said here:

1) You just met this person
2) You're, by your own estimation, new to this whole realm of sexuality
3) No one, and I mean no one, should put themselves in that kind of potentially dangerous situation with someone they barely know and with whom they've had limited interaction.

Talk, talk, talk some more. Think about getting naked together. Talk more.

When you can't talk any more, take a break.

Then talk again.

Whatever you do, don't just jump in head first. To extend the metaphor...you can't know how deep the pool is until you explore it. As exciting as the fatasy danger can be, real danger is just around the corner. Don't go into this with blinders on, for your own safety, take some time.

 

[sweetlittleass]

I think I need to clairify...

I've known him for about 6 months now... we just met face to face the other night for the first time. We met over the net, and I wouldn't meet him until I felt comfortable knowing that he wasn't going to misuse the trust the I was going to give him. In that 6 months we talked on the phone everyday, in detail and length about what each of us wants and where we want to go with our fantasies.

I just don't know if as a sub I can ask him how much I can fight back - or if I just fight back for all I'm worth. Or first RL interaction was great and he definately knows what you want and need and fear and would hate BEFORE my clothes came off ( to quote cymbidia). I just wanted to learn more about being sub and what my limits were in this new situation for me.

But thank you for all the information so far! It is definately re-assuring to see that you people are all so caring in looking out for my protection! Thank you very much!


Baby

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting topic?

 

[wolf2002]

Aside from the 'just met him' issue, and entirely from the POV of a lover of mock rape, I'd say: fight back as hard as you can... well, he still should be able to get you down, if he's too weak there won;t be much raping going on... but the harder the fight, the sweeter the victory...

Wolf

 

[RadicalFlower]

i agree...^^^


But talk A little person to person before puting yourself in that Hole there...know what i mean...Know his person...Now...you know his mind...Get to know his person..*S*

 

[dreaming_lilith]

amen to that! exactly what i thought

that was one of the best answers ive read on this board
*hat off*

I read the first line of your post three times to make sure i was comprehending correctly.

You just met this man last night? If you don't feel comfortable discussing your limits and expectations with him, you certainly shouldn't be contemplating being involved in a rape scene.

Take a few steps back, get ahold of your self, and think with the rational parts of you. It's really hard to do that, i know, when you're excited about someone new, but we have to do it that way.

 

[dreaming_lilith]

Re: I think I need to clairify...

I just don't know if as a sub I can ask him how much I can fight back - or if I just fight back for all I'm worth.

One of the basic rules i have been learned is that it is the sub setting limits and the dom will respect them.
Just because you are a sub doesnt mean you are not entitled to feelings, opinions and wishes. And if you are gonna fullfill a fantasy like that you better make sure he knows both your limits, wishes and feelings, or it can end with both of you being hurt.
And still as mentioned here before, if you dont feel 100% free to communicate with him, you are prolly not close enough to do that kind of things...

 

[rosco rathbone]

The best rape scenes have quite a bit of fighting IMHO.

The harder I have to fight to TAKE it, the more turned on I get. If she knees me in the nuts or gets off a punch to the eye or a bite, so much the sweeter when I fuck her--and make her pussy pay for it.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

...If she knees me in the nuts..., so much the sweeter when I fuck her--and make her pussy pay for it.

hijack

Oh, Rascal Wrothbone, may I pleeeeeease add -- 'Even-tu-all-y'?!

(That's 'when you fuck her -- E-ven-tu-all-y.' You so set yourself up there. Any fawlty towers fans hearabouts?)

/hijack

 

[RadicalFlower]

I am learing from this thread Awsome thread

 

[rosco rathbone]

hijack

Oh, Rascal Wrothbone, may I pleeeeeease add -- 'Even-tu-all-y'?!

(That's 'when you fuck her -- E-ven-tu-all-y.' You so set yourself up there. Any fawlty towers fans hearabouts?)

/hijack

ha ha ha

roscolnikov

 

[Netzach]

Yeah, but not many Dom types are maso enough to pay the price. I think for a lot of people a rape fantasy involves the rape-ee caving like chocolate pudding in a dewy puddle.

I'm a small gal without a lot of dirty fighting experience.

For this reason, I want my own personal hit squad of burly fuckers in chastity to catch and hold down my prey for the fucking.

Talk to the dude, find out what images are going through his mind, or you may be putting apples with oranges.

 

[curiousub]

I hate to sound like a broken record but talk to him and talk some more before you do this. Set the limits out well in advance. To even be thinking about play rape with someone you just met you are jumping way ahead of the game.

At the same time once you do feel more comfortable in the situation with him how much you fight is completely up to you. In a play rape situation the sub wants to be subdued. The Dom wants to take the sub against her will. So by that respect alone you should fight him. Conversely the more you fight him the more he is going to fight back to take you and subdue you. So it comes down to you deciding when you have fought enough and are ready to cede control to him and let him take you.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Yeah, but not many Dom types are maso enough to pay the price. I think for a lot of people a rape fantasy involves the rape-ee caving like chocolate pudding in a dewy puddle.

I'm a small gal without a lot of dirty fighting experience.

For this reason, I want my own personal hit squad of burly fuckers in chastity to catch and hold down my prey for the fucking.

Talk to the dude, find out what images are going through his mind, or you may be putting apples with oranges.

Now hold on one cottonpickin minute.

The willingness to "pay the price" to get what you want has nothing to do with dom/sub.

It is part and parcel of my alpha male nature to accept without w(h)impering the honorable wounds of combat in pursuit of my goal--absolute domination. I happen to prefer worthy oponents; that's all.