How many strokes (with strong implement) before crying?

[melan]

Hi everybody! After reading (and enjoy) for a long time this forum I decided to join and directly compare my experience with yours.

The subject of this thread comes from a recent "experiment" I wanted to do: I was just courious to know my reaction during a real hard punishment and to see where are my limits.
For this reason I asked my partner to spank me hard with a horsewhip (never used before...) until I was begging him to stop. We also agreed on a short rest every ten strokes.
I was quite excited before starting, but my excitement didn't last long!!!
I would have never imagined to feel such dreadful pain in a very short time. I think I have never experience something similar in my life!

Somehow I endured the first ten without too much fuss, but I understood to be very close to my limits. In fact after other five I felt tears i my eyes (and I was becoming very loud), and after other two I was really crying. I still didn't want to give up, but my partner immediately stopped the spanking
and tried to confort me.

Even through the terrible pain I felt very embarassed for such a ingnominious conclusion: I was a mature and selfconfident woman turned into a baby who couldn't take a spanking without crying!
And my tears where not at all emotional: I was crying only because my bottom was on fire...

Now my question is: should I be proud for taking the first fifteen like a lady, or ashamed for the following two and their consequences?

And to the other subs: did you ever try your limits? How much pain you can bear before bursting into tears?

Thanks in advance for yours comments.

 

[Killishandra]

I would feel ashamed for breaking down after the 12th lashing..


Personally, melan, my Master gives me 20 hard whippings with a horsewhip every night before bed, and every morning when I awaken. (Although not before the morning ritual of bending down to kiss his toes one by one.)

Be ashamed, and give yourself 20 lashings in repentance.

 

[Kajira Callista]

And to the other subs: did you ever try your limits? How much pain you can bear before bursting into tears?

i have never cried from pain. i have cried from being frustrated, wanting more faster to push me to a better place. and i have cried because everything felt so good that it overwhelmed me in a good way which made the tears.


btw 15 is not so shabby for your first experience. i give ya a 10

 

[serijules]

IMO, you will not get a very good sense of your limits in this manner...limits and what a person can take and how they react is a constant changing thing for most people.

Your mood, your partners mood, the time of month, how you are feeling, where you are emotionally, etc etc...all affects how much you can "take". Having an audience may mean you can take less...or like me, more. If in punishment or if I've dissapointed my partner, I can't take nearly as much. If I'm playing with a new implement and it's not in the hands of someone that I know is very skilled, I'm more aware of my limits and won't push them. It is good to have an idea of what you can take and how your body will react, but it is dangerous to use this as a guide and next time say "but last time I took this many, I have to this time too!"

Don't fall into a trap of setting expectations for yourself based on limits or what you can take. Better to spend that energy getting to understand your body enough to know when it's time to quit, and it's NEVER ever anything to be ashamed of if you can't take more or react.

 

[shy slave]

Oh I have cried and cried and cried from pain, but I hate to use a safe word or admit defeat.

I alternate between staring at him, following him around the room with my eyes and generally think 'I can do this!!'

During the last intense session he stopped and asked me what colour it was (I have yellow and red) I said 'probably yellow'. Minutes later I admitted it was 'almost red.'

At the end of the session he asked me why I did not say 'red.'

The adrenalin from the pain was so intense I was really getting mad with him. Through gritted teeth I said

'I don't do red!'

His response was to ask very calmly for the crop, then he positioned me face against the wall and hands high; he then brought the crop down harder then ever before.

As the first stroke landed my response was 'fuck!'

On the second stroke I realised I could not win and said 'red'

I have to admit I have never counted how many strokes I could take during an intense session, as each time is dependant on so many factors including his idea of what is to be gained, the implements he chooses to use, the warm-up (if any) before and during each implement, my mood and where, or if, I am tied as part of the session.

However I have learnt that:

a)He wins

b)When really pushed I can 'do red'

c) Next time I will still fight before admiting defeat.

d)He is a stubborn sadistic person who wants to push me into knowing my limits to enable me to extend them.

e)I hate it when he is stubborn.

 

[serijules]

Oh I have cried and cried and cried from pain, but I hate to use a safe word or admit defeat.

Why? It's there for a reason. Refusing to use it or using it in a misleading way defeats the entire purpose of it, and potentially undermines your Dom in a huge way. Safewording is not admitting defeat, it's respecting your Dominant enough to communicate with him honestly, and respecting yourself enough to not let ego and pride get in the way of mental and physical safety.

 

[Netzach]

I always hated to safeword as a bottom too, it's one of the limitations of a safeword, I think. Yeah, I know all that intellectually, that there's no shame, it's just there to communicate, etc. Intellectually I know that.

On a less intellectual level, the whole point of bottoming, for me, was always a chance for me to feel tough. So I'd say "yellow" ...fine, and that was really really hard to do and pissed me off. I was lucky to have tops who understood where I was coming from really well, even sometimes when it wasn't discussed a lot prior they just could tell what I was in it for.

 

[shy slave]

Why? It's there for a reason. Refusing to use it or using it in a misleading way defeats the entire purpose of it, and potentially undermines your Dom in a huge way. Safewording is not admitting defeat, it's respecting your Dominant enough to communicate with him honestly, and respecting yourself enough to not let ego and pride get in the way of mental and physical safety.

I can see what your saying but from my end of the crop it feels defeat everytime lol

I don't mislead him, he just finds it amusing

And he is stubborn enough to keep pushing until I have little choice but to admit I have reached my limit and beyond.

He knows I trust him completely.

As for respect, he has earnt that in so many ways on both sexual and non-sexual levels.

We are a long way off from the point where my physical or mental safety is at risk.

He knows where I am at any point in time,

He is just so determined about hearing me say it that word!

Damn Doms

 

[TaintedB]

I'm in the never cried from pain crowd. I've screamed a lot, but the pain has never gotten so bad that it brought tears to my eyes. Under professional torturers, the kind that all countries keep in their employ, I'm sure I'd cry or go hysterial in other ways, but that wouldn't be bdsm. In a kinky situation, I'm like others who have posted here: I cry if it's emotionally painful. Physical pain doesn't make me sad, it just hurts.

 

[serijules]

I love to push myself or be pushed to take as much as I can for D...but I do think that it is possible to go much much further with that if a person comes to terms with any issues over using the safeword tool. Trust is great, but it's only going to take you so far by itself.

Not to say that it should be abused in the other manner too...using it with TOO much ease. That can be just as, if not a lot more damaging to a relationship I think.

I've only had to safeword three times that I can remember right now. Two of those times I did and the idiots ignored it. The other time was a big miscommunication on both of our parts but led to a valuable lesson.

Last time I visited D, I was playing with her and her other sub, C (who switches). Both were topping me. There was a misunderstanding regarding the cane that led to me not safewording when I should have. Later on, C had a long talk with me about how she can't play with me if she can't trust me to communicate with her if there is a problem. In other words, trying to handle a situation where I should have safeworded on my own not only put her in a bad position and was disrespectful of our trust, but I was putting myself in a dangerous position. My body and mind are not my own to put in such a position.

I came out of the conversation with the understanding that playing with someone that the top cannot trust to safeword would be kind of like the bottom saying "I expect you to read my mind", and that's a very tough position to be in no matter what your role is.

Not to say it isn't a struggle to safeword...it is very hard sometimes, especially if the desire to not dissappoint is involved. So I do understand that struggle, but I also think that it is one of those struggles that a bottom has an obligation to overcome. To think of it as "defeat" is very discouraging to me.

Just another view, I'm glad it works for you the way it does shyslave but down the line, you might find yourself needing to re-examine your feelings in order to really push your limits safely. "Damage" comes in all sorts of forms. Or maybe not. Who's to say.

Thanks for an interesting discussion. I'm glad you didn't take my comments as something you needed to defend against, I was a little worried you would, but from reading your other posts you don't seem the type to jump to defenses rather than just discuss. That's cool

 

[Kajira Callista]

I can see what your saying but from my end of the crop it feels defeat everytime lol

I don't mislead him, he just finds it amusing

And he is stubborn enough to keep pushing until I have little choice but to admit I have reached my limit and beyond.

He knows I trust him completely.

As for respect, he has earnt that in so many ways on both sexual and non-sexual levels.

We are a long way off from the point where my physical or mental safety is at risk.

He knows where I am at any point in time,

He is just so determined about hearing me say it that word!

Damn Doms

ahh the dreaded safe word....which ultimately cause my release from a long term M/s relationship.

 

[shy slave]

I love to push myself or be pushed to take as much as I can for D...but I do think that it is possible to go much much further with that if a person comes to terms with any issues over using the safeword tool. Trust is great, but it's only going to take you so far by itself.

Not to say that it should be abused in the other manner too...using it with TOO much ease. That can be just as, if not a lot more damaging to a relationship I think.

I've only had to safeword three times that I can remember right now. Two of those times I did and the idiots ignored it. The other time was a big miscommunication on both of our parts but led to a valuable lesson.

Last time I visited D, I was playing with her and her other sub, C (who switches). Both were topping me. There was a misunderstanding regarding the cane that led to me not safewording when I should have. Later on, C had a long talk with me about how she can't play with me if she can't trust me to communicate with her if there is a problem. In other words, trying to handle a situation where I should have safeworded on my own not only put her in a bad position and was disrespectful of our trust, but I was putting myself in a dangerous position. My body and mind are not my own to put in such a position.

I came out of the conversation with the understanding that playing with someone that the top cannot trust to safeword would be kind of like the bottom saying "I expect you to read my mind", and that's a very tough position to be in no matter what your role is.

Not to say it isn't a struggle to safeword...it is very hard sometimes, especially if the desire to not dissappoint is involved. So I do understand that struggle, but I also think that it is one of those struggles that a bottom has an obligation to overcome. To think of it as "defeat" is very discouraging to me.

Just another view, I'm glad it works for you the way it does shyslave but down the line, you might find yourself needing to re-examine your feelings in order to really push your limits safely. "Damage" comes in all sorts of forms. Or maybe not. Who's to say.

Thanks for an interesting discussion. I'm glad you didn't take my comments as something you needed to defend against, I was a little worried you would, but from reading your other posts you don't seem the type to jump to defenses rather than just discuss. That's cool

Serijules in the past 18mths or so, only two or three people from Lit have irratated me enough to bite them.
One of those I did in private and then I apologised, in public.
I love 100's of viewpoints and lots of discussion.
Especially the kind where everone is both right and wrong
Takes alot to make me want to defend my point of view or to annoy me as far as online conversations go.
Lets keep the discussions open, healthy, mean, stupid and interesting plus all other shades of the rainbow
Incidentially your probably right, at some point I am going to have to re-examine the whole issue, but not yet.
I will keep my pride and arrogance and remain 'almost red' until he makes me admit otherwise.

Is there a self-help books for stubborn slaves who won't give in???
Actually that won't help, I would be too stubborn to read the bloody thing lol

 

[sandyb]

I cry fairly easily I guess...after just two or three hard strokes but that doesn't mean I give in, it just means I cry...which he enjoys...the mixture of tears and cum is a big turn on for him. I am talking about my reaction to being spanked hard with a viscious paddle with holes drilled in it and him taking a full wind up. I can only handle a couple of those explosive hits before I become weepy. We don't have a safe word.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

That's a pretty subjective question, don't you think? I mean, what exactly is your definition of a "strong implement"?

In my world, we're talking a heavy cane, and a quirt. Others may use signal whip, crops, whatever. It's really an individual sort of thing.

But, back to my world. I rarely cry. I never cry from the pain of the strikes. I enjoy that, LOL, I'm a masochist, after all. The crying I do has to do with emotional release. If I'm all up in a knot emotionally (and I may not even realize I am), just a few deep strikes on my breasts or belly with the quirt (the implement I fear the most) will send me right over the emotional edge into tears.

The cane is another story all together. We both enjoy pushing limits with it. I don't have a problem with going right up to calling red...we call that an endurance run We don't do them often, but they are always an intense experience for us both. How many strikes is that? Hell, I lose count. Alot.

~Anelize

 

[landcruisergal]

I don't cry...period. Its a mental block that my PYL would like to push me through, but I doubt it will ever happen.
I only cry over the sufferring of others, or out of anger and frustration at other issues in my life.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have to agree with most of what serijules has said, especially in terms of crying ad how much you can take pleasurably being determined by other factors outside of directly what is happening. I am a masochist who loves the extremes, but there have been times when one to two of the softest strikes has reduced me to tears and yet others where blood is drawn and I still am not crying....it differs and for various reasons. That being said, we have both discovered the added pleasure that can be had from tears which overtime has reduced my blocking power to the tears that once were not ever present. It is an added dimension for both of us and he does love my endurance, but also loves to see his efforts have produced some reaction in me that does not reflect a battle of wills and holding out. As I don't have a safeword, that does not come into it....LOL, losing count can mean beginning all over again though.

Catalina

 

[chris9]

and a quirt

Excuse me, but what is a quirt?

 

[TaintedB]

Excuse me, but what is a quirt?

A quirt looks kind of like a riding crop: same length or a little longer. Its handle is somewhat narrower at the tip than at the place where you hold it. But it has no large leather part on the tip of it, just a little string sometimes. Because of that, it stings a lot more than a crop does.

 

[chris9]

A quirt looks kind of like a riding crop: same length or a little longer. Its handle is somewhat narrower at the tip than at the place where you hold it. But it has no large leather part on the tip of it, just a little string sometimes. Because of that, it stings a lot more than a crop does.

Thank you for the answer.

 

[h_i_s]

i don't cry at the receiving end of His strokes with any impliments He has used on me. The hardest for me to receive to date: Having my bare ass beat hard & long enough with a hairbrush for both cheeks to be entirely covered with red mottled bruises which lasted for days, and left both feeling like hard lumps which were simutaniously both numb and burning with pain & very sore when i sat (for three days following). i didn't cry during that beating though. He wanted me to. *i* wanted me to so that He would get what He wanted and finally stop. i couldn't cry. i did curl up into a ball, hiding my ass under my heels .. & i ran away from the blows a few times too, and begged, screamed even. No crying though.

Crying is just not the type of response that pain draws from me. We don't do safewords. He knows me well enough from my responses to know when to continue pushing, and when it's too much. And, i'm not put off at all in letting Him know when *i* feel it is enough, and/or too much pain for me to deal with. For me, it's not even about pride, stubborness, or holding back my emotions. i just tedn to express my emotions in other ways. This is not to say that He has never crossed the limits regarding 'too much', nor to say that i don't LIKE it that way.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

A quirt looks kind of like a riding crop: same length or a little longer. Its handle is somewhat narrower at the tip than at the place where you hold it. But it has no large leather part on the tip of it, just a little string sometimes. Because of that, it stings a lot more than a crop does.

Chris9, that's a pretty good description. Here's a pic of one that I've LOVE to have. The one he terrifies me with is similar but pales in comparison to the AMAZING quality of this one:

http://www.em-brand-whips.com/quirtpics/1609.jpg

~Anelize

 

[timberwolf05]

poll

the wolf says, us macho men don't cry!

there is no woman out there can break me! no woman out there can make me even get misty.
nu uh not gonna happen. real men do not cry! are you crazy?

"what Mistress" "uh, yes Mistress, be right there"

" I just seen what you posted boy!" "you didn't ask permission to post did you, boy?" "so no Woman can make you cry huh?" "well let's just SEE about THAT, shall we?"


"ow ouch hey uh ow OW! pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze stop Mistress?"


lol roflmao


take care folks. couldn't resist this.

 

[shy slave]

Chris9, that's a pretty good description. Here's a pic of one that I've LOVE to have. The one he terrifies me with is similar but pales in comparison to the AMAZING quality of this one:

http://www.em-brand-whips.com/quirtpics/1609.jpg

~Anelize

OUCH

Now off to have nightmares and block this page from his eyes