How he wants to punish me

[ulikebigtits]

I recently started chatting with a Dom online that I am interested in disciplining me and giving me structure. The relationship is very new, but we have chatted online for a few weeks (on and off, not every day). We have not met yet. I've never been with someone so strict. I do want to submit to him, but I wished he wouldn't punish me so harshly on the first offense. He said it is way overdue, as I've been sassy and disrespectful.

I have done a poll to ask what people think of his punishment and if I should submit to it. If you'd like to vote in my poll, you can go to http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/442562 and you can also post additional messages there or here. Thank you for your input. It will really help this submissive out. I know I need to be more structured and with someone more strict.

 

[loneflame]

If you aren't comfortable with an aspect of the exchange you need to ask yourself if this is someone you really want to submit to. If you are so bothered by it that you are asking for other people to moderate your relationship, it sounds like you need to do some thinking.

But you say you need (want?) more structure, so maybe you need to learn to stop questioning what your dominant thinks is best for you. You can't ask someone to teach you if you are going to question their method at every turn. This is his method, so I'd say take it or leave it, don't try to change him.

 

[Adakgirl]

I recently started chatting with a Dom online that I am interested in disciplining me and giving me structure. The relationship is very new, but we have chatted online for a few weeks (on and off, not every day). We have not met yet. I've never been with someone so strict. I do want to submit to him, but I wished he wouldn't punish me so harshly on the first offense. He said it is way overdue, as I've been sassy and disrespectful.

I have done a poll to ask what people think of his punishment and if I should submit to it. If you'd like to vote in my poll, you can go to http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/442562 and you can also post additional messages there or here. Thank you for your input. It will really help this submissive out. I know I need to be more structured and with someone more strict.

I don't recommend you do any scene with him the 1st time you meet. In fact I do not recommend you go anywhere with him out of the public eye. I recommend that you do not allow yourself to be in a place with him alone during your first meeting. I recommend you don't meet him at all... see the below:

As for his wanting to punish you the 1st time you meet, the type of punishment matters not... as for him not taking into consideration your feelings and reasons for refusing to do something... as for him not going over your limits and him insisting on a time for your first meeting, with just a few weeks of knowing you. I recommend you drop this on=line Dominant and run in the opposite direction as fast as u can.

 

[rainbowgirl1028]

this guy definitely sounds like trouble. run, run, run!

 

[Adakgirl]

Just by what I read in your link I can tell that this so-called Dominant is being domineering and has really no clue as to how D/s relationships work. He is not someone you should meet with.. let alone continue any kind of relationship with. This is of course my opinion only.

 

[ulikebigtits]

Thanks for your reply's. It is very helpful to my thinking.

 

[Adakgirl]

If you are referring to that Drphil's add in the BDSM personal adds...by reading his add you should already know that this is a male "play" fake Dominant. He is all about the sex. You need to slow down, read and learn about the D/s lifestyle and ask questions here, read in the library so you have some idea of what Dominance and submission is all about...before you answer any more adds and offer your submission to anyone.

 

[Adakgirl]

Let start here_
http://www.wiredsafety.org/internet101/aromance.html

 

[Adakgirl]

Copied and pasted from : The submissive guide- some are relevant to your situation some are not...not yet anyway

But how do you know the person you are with is an abuser and not just a strict Dominant?

I’m going to give you 10 Red Flags that can indicate you are with an abusive person. This is no where near an exhaustive list. There are many many more flags out there. See the list of other essays below if you want a more in depth article.

1. Are you afraid of your Dominant?
2. Do they threaten to leave or abandon you of you don’t submit?
3. Do they threaten violence if you don’t submit?
4. Does the Dominant give you expensive gifts to get you to do something you don’t honestly want to do?
5. Have you gained or lost a lot of weight while being with the Dominant? (this does not include intended weight loss or gain)
6. Do they make you feel guilty if you can’t or won’t do something?
7. Does the Dominant make you feel ugly and unwanted?
8. Have you ever felt like you have been raped after having sex with the Dominant?
9. Do they ignore your needs, such as medical treatment, food or clothing?
10. Have they ever questioned your loyalty when you question their behavior?
11. (Yup, I could keep going…) Does your Dominant ignore your limits or safe words?

 

[WriterDom]

Chatting with someone here and there not every day for a few weeks? How could you know him that well? Ask for 3 submissive references and 3 Dom references and see how he reacts to it.

 

[Adakgirl]

and this is an excellent link- read it carefully,

ttp://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/85

 

[Adakgirl]

http://www.the-iron-gate.com/

hope that comes thru as a link, go to essays and read there.

 

[MisterSir]

Good Lord in Heaven, let me count the red flags.

I felt like one of his requests was a bit unreasonable, and I tried to explain my reasons to him in a realistic way. He said I was just making excuses and he doesn't accept excuses

Red flag.

He decided which date that would be and he insisted that I was being a brat.

Red flag.

(no warm up since it was punishment)

Red flag. The two of you have never met before, he has absolutely no chance of knowing how much you can take.

When he took me out of the corner, I was going back over his knee for an enema.

Red flag. On the FIRST MEETING?

Then I would get a hairbrush spanking and then his belt.

Red flag. On the FIRST MEETING?

When I came out of the corner, my ass would be freshened with more spanks and then I would have to spread my ass cheeks so he could take me anally.

Red flag. On the FIRST MEETING?

If I orgasmed during any of it, I would be whipped again (with his belt)

Red flag. On the FIRST MEETING?

So that's seven red flags from one paragraph. Please, direct him to this thread so he can see just how badly he's gone wrong.

 

[CutieMouse]

He decided which date that would be and he insisted that I was being a brat. He told me that when he did come over, he was going to strip me naked. I would be put over his knee for a hard hand spanking (no warm up since it was punishment), then I would be put in the corner for as long as he wanted me to be there. When he took me out of the corner, I was going back over his knee for an enema. Then I would get a hairbrush spanking and then his belt. I would relieve him with my mouth and go back in the corner. When I came out of the corner, my ass would be freshened with more spanks and then I would have to spread my ass cheeks so he could take me anally. If I orgasmed during any of it, I would be whipped again (with his belt). I've never been with someone so strict, do you think this is the way I should be punished? I do want to submit to him, but I wished he wouldn't give it to me so harshly on the first offense.

Somebody's been drinking the HNG Kool-aide...

 

[MisterSir]

I've got to reiterate this - this is the first time you're meeting and he wants to spank you bare-handed, with a hairbrush, with his belt, deliver a punishment enema and fuck you in the ass? Is he deluded?

 

[RawHumor]

While this doesn't have a lot to do with anything, my limited exposure to enemas is that they're quite messy. His suggestion of giving you an enema while you lie across his lap seems to tell me that he's not likely familiar with them (unless he plans to punish you for making a mess on his lap).

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who is more experienced than I am in that particular area.

 

[CutieMouse]

I've got to reiterate this - this is the first time you're meeting and he wants to spank you bare-handed, with a hairbrush, with his belt, deliver a punishment enema and fuck you in the ass? Is he deluded?

While this doesn't have a lot to do with anything, my limited exposure to enemas is that they're quite messy. His suggestion of giving you an enema while you lie across his lap seems to tell me that he's not likely familiar with them (unless he plans to punish you for making a mess on his lap).

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, anyone who is more experienced than I am in that particular area.

Again - HNG Kool-Aide.

 

[MisterSir]

I honestly don't know what HNG stands for. Is it anything to do with FNG?

 

[RawHumor]

I honestly don't know what HNG stands for. Is it anything to do with FNG?

HNG = Horny Net Geek... basically, someone who thinks he's a dom but has zero real-life experience, has no ground in reality, and still wants to call all the shots.

 

[RawHumor]

and this is an excellent link- read it carefully,

http://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/85

FYP - you omitted the leading H in http

 

[Sir_Winston54]

:BLINK!:

Do not walk away from this guy...

RUN!​

 

[MisterSir]

HNG = Horny Net Geek... basically, someone who thinks he's a dom but has zero real-life experience, has no ground in reality, and still wants to call all the shots.

That really should have been more obvious to me, shouldn't it?

But yeah. Guy's an absolute prick and easily 8.7 on the Megadouche scale (where 10 is Dane Cook, 8 is Sidney Crosby and 0 is Robert Downey Jr.)

 

[myinnerslut]

wow this guy is bad news.

but that poll, seriously... thats a whole new brand of toppy. or sammy. im not sure which.

 

[the captians wench]

Chatting with someone here and there not every day for a few weeks? How could you know him that well? Ask for 3 submissive references and 3 Dom references and see how he reacts to it.

This is one of those things that I just don't get. I don't have a lot of subby friends (that I've met IRL). I know Jounar doesn't ask his mates if they top, just not one of those things he goes around advertizing. And I don't know many men who have even vanilla x-girlfriends who would give a positive reference.

And you really don't know the credibility of the references hegives either.

 

[Betticus]

Don't just run away from this psychotic loser, don't even communicate with him again. Change your email addresses, don't read or reply to anything.

And don't refer him to this place, God knows he does not need to be getting any kind of a clue so that the next potential victim might just fall for this bullshit.

I'd also quit posting polls like that, it makes it look like you were just bored and are doing this to entertain yourself.