How dumb are my readers?

[TheEarl]

I'm just editing a new story and part of the dialogue include the phrase "She'd been working on the River in Egypt so far, but now she had to take a step back and admit what she was doing" (paraphrase). Obviously River in Egypt = DeNile, but I'm not sure how widespread this phrase is.

Do I need to put an explanantion in the Author's Note ta the top or do you think my readers will get it? I don't want to patronise them, but equally I don't want to baffle them.

This from the man who has used recalcitrant and anachronism in his erotica .

The Earl

 

[Cleopatra]

I'm just editing a new story and part of the dialogue include the phrase "She'd been working on the River in Egypt so far, but now she had to take a step back and admit what she was doing" (paraphrase). Obviously River in Egypt = DeNile, but I'm not sure how widespread this phrase is.

Do I need to put an explanantion in the Author's Note ta the top or do you think my readers will get it? I don't want to patronise them, but equally I don't want to baffle them.

This from the man who has used recalcitrant and anachronism in his erotica .

The Earl

I'd get it.

 

[Alex De Kok]

I needed the explanation!

Alex

 

[karmadog]

I think you're too smart to be wasting your time on an overused pun.

 

[Un-registered]

Earl,

Your readers are almost infinitely stupid and ill-informed.

I wrote a little story a while ago about a Cossack having sex on horseback. I was on the receiving end of two main sets of criticism:
1 It was impossible, I was told.
2 The word "verst" did not exist, even when used as a measure of distance.

 

[karmadog]

I should rephrase: Stale, stale, stale.


It's tired, boring, funny ten years ago, it's even cliche in country songs.

Leave it alone.

 

[MathGirl]

xObviously River in Egypt = DeNile, but I'm not sure how widespread this phrase is.

Do I need to put an explanantion in the Author's Note ta the top or do you think my readers will get it? I don't want to patronise them, but equally I don't want to baffle them.

Dear Earl,
I think you worry far too much. Readers ignore anything they can't whack off to.

I still don't get it. Who's Egypt?

MG

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, even with the supposed explanation, I still don't get it. Guess that makes me dumber than your readers? Or perhaps I'm just looking for something deeper here?

The word "DeNile" as some sort of play on the words the Nile is old and tiresome. It basically just makes me raise my eyebrows, and disqualify anyone who thinks this is amusing and/or funny. (Sort of like when people break out into a well known song when they hear my name and think they are being totally original - like I haven't heard that that for all 40+ years I've been on this earth!)

I would say from those here to drop it completely. Though I'm still trying to figure out how "DeNile" figures into the line you quoted. Perhaps I never will. Oh well....

 

[MathGirl]

Obfuscation

I would say from those here to drop it completely. Though I'm still trying to figure out how "DeNile" figures into the line you quoted. Perhaps I never will. Oh well....

Dear SCh,
Earl's character was in 'denial,' SCh. He was trying to make the simple fact as difficult as possible for the reader to understand. The reader, of course, would immediately skip to the next stroke part.

I, of course, don't get the thing about your name and the song, but then I've led a very sheltered life.
MG

 

[Octavian]

Odd crustacean

Another pun using the name of a river.

My wife was mad when she fell off that bridge in Paris.
She was insane. (in Seine)

BTW Earl, why did you not ask how 'smart' your readers are?

Octavian

 

[DarlingNikki]

I don't think you should use it, unless the character speaking is meant to sound overly cheesy.

But if you do decide to use it, putting a note at the top of a story to explain what seems to be a relatively minor joke in the text seems odd.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Obfuscation

Dear SCh,
Earl's character was in 'denial,' SCh. He was trying to make the simple fact as difficult as possible for the reader to understand. The reader, of course, would immediately skip to the next stroke part.

I, of course, don't get the thing about your name and the song, but then I've led a very sheltered life.
MG

Ah, thank you! I was looking too deeply at it. Figures, most readers don't go into that type of depth.

As to my name, well my name is Michele (Chele is my nickname). More often than I would care to name, when people are introduced to me (especially men, who seem to think this is so ingenious!), they break into the Beatles song, "Michelle, my Belle." Then look at me and smile, as if they were the very first ones to think of it. I've heard that song sung so badly so many times, I can't listen to it when the good version comes on the radio!

 

[MathGirl]

How dumb are the readers?

they break into the Beatles song, "Michelle, my Belle." Then look at me and smile, as if they were the very first ones to think of it.

Oh, that "Meeee Cheeel, maw bell"

I would imagine that would get old/

MG

Ps. The basis of this thread is "How dumb are my readers?"

The answer is simple: They're dumber than you would ever believe. But don't ever assume that, or somthing will come out of nowhere and bite you on the ass.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: Obfuscation

As to my name, well my name is Michele (Chele is my nickname). More often than I would care to name, when people are introduced to me (especially men, who seem to think this is so ingenious!), they break into the Beatles song, "Michelle, my Belle." Then look at me and smile, as if they were the very first ones to think of it. I've heard that song sung so badly so many times, I can't listen to it when the good version comes on the radio!

I know your pain, little one. There are tons of songs about my name.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Re: Re: Re: Obfuscation

I know your pain, little one. There are tons of songs about my name.

*Stalking Svenska and trying to rack my brain what her real name is*

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Hee hee hee...

It would be something for the Lyrical Trivia thread...

 

[MathGirl]

Svenska's name

Hee hee hee...

It would be something for the Lyrical Trivia thread...

I know, but I ain't telling.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Svenska's name

I know, but I ain't telling.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Let me interrupt the good times here by stating a new theory I'm working with: you have to assume that your readers are as smart as you are and hope for the best.

In other words, you don't talk down to them. That's called pandering.

On the other hand, why would you possibly want to stick a bad pun like that into a story? I've done stories in hard-boiled detective-speak, and maybe a character would say something like that, but I don't think so. Too corny. Dealing in slang is always risky, unless you write your own.

Personally, I think it's bad when you can see an author trying to be clever, because it usually means that he's failed. Stay away from it.

---dr.M.

 

[pop_54]

Yep

Have to agree with most here Earl, forget it mate, and don't dream of patronising them by putting in a note about it, most won't understand that either but will hate you for assuming they wouldn't.

The average reader of porn tales will forgive you for just saying it outright rather than trying a clever pun.

As for proper speak versus slang, well I use slang and short cuts in dialogue, cos I don't know many peeps who talk proper in real life.

pops.............

 

[Chicklet]

Re: Re: Obfuscation

when people are introduced to me (especially men, who seem to think this is so ingenious!), they break into the Beatles song, "Michelle, my Belle." Then look at me and smile, as if they were the very first ones to think of it.

Every time I tell someone my name (in r/l) they say "Any relation to Bill?" or "Any relation to the president?" etc etc etc. (chelsea)

 

[pop_54]

Yum

Love the new avathingie chicklet, nice Ummmm Er, headscarf

pops..........

 

[SlickTony]

they break into the Beatles song, "Michelle, my Belle." Then look at me and smile, as if they were the very first ones to think of it.

It could be worse. My name is the same as the female half of a duo who had one song out in the early 60s that I can remember, a very sappy song, and I got that sung at me more times than I care to think about.

 

[TheEarl]

I now thank God for a nice anonymous name.

The phrase River-In-Egypt is actually used as slang in parts of England. Not very often, but occasionally. However seeing as many of you see it as an unnecessary overcomplication for no good reason, I think I'll cut it.

The Earl

 

[Un-registered]

Re: Re: Re: Obfuscation

... As to my name, well my name is Michele (Chele is my nickname) ...

I do apologise. I have been pronouncing (mentally at least) your nom de plume as "Sex Itchily" and now I realise it should be "Sexy Shell".

Every time I tell someone my name (in r/l) they say "Any relation to Bill?" or "Any relation to the president?" etc etc etc. (chelsea)

Since Chelsea are a very bad soccer team anyway, why not move up-market and call yourself Arsenal or Manchester United?