How does one find a dominatrix?

[PervertedLover]

I responded to three different ads on Doublelist and received nearly identical replies from all three, so I feel pretty certain it’s one scammer. What a shame! Cos I’m ready to submit. I’ve been a very, very bad boy and I need to be disciplined.

 

[Dearelliot]

A common problem, I'm old and have been doing this for years, or trying to...My thoughts:
First, if you are single and decent looking, reasonably articulate, and sort of well off financially, I think you have a small chance of finding one...who might work at it for a few years, long term?? Doubtful...but that's better than nothing..I'd start out by not mentioning D/s...unless you found a real life Domme!
I'm married, and normal looking and not wealthy, so I pay for it.
I responded to ladies advertising in AFF and Alts.com, there may be others.

 

[OddLove]

If I were to seek out a dominatrix, I would start by engaging with femdom content creators that have OnlyFans/Fansly accounts.

Be supportive of their content and respectful toward their career choices.

While simultaneously supporting their content, send them a brief messages like "I really enjoy your content."

After remaining casual and enjoying their work for a while, eventually confess that you always wanted to explore your submissive side, but you've been worried about getting scammed. Then ask them if they have any advice for how to connect with a dominatrix in a safe way.

It's a lot of work and might go nowhere, but that's how I'd approach it.

The goal would be to truly connect with the kink world rather than just looking for someone to throw money at.

Earning other people's trust and respect by becoming an authentic and familiar name around the online community.

Staying respectful and curious rather than pushy and desperate.

And accepting 'No' as a common, responsible, and sane answer rather than an insult or rude. Because it's scary and risky connecting with people in this world.

 

[bobb_sledd]

Try FetLife dot com

 

[PervertedLover]

@Dearelliot Thank you for educating me. Reality slaps me in the face.

@OddLove Thank you providing a lot of great info! I will proceed exactly as you prescribe!

@bobb_sledd I took your advice and registered at FetLife. Holy shit! They have so many categories of kinky stuff I was flabbergasted. I don’t even know what half of that stuff is! I have much to learn… Most of the pics of women I saw have to be AI — they’re too perfect.

 

[bobb_sledd]

@bobb_sledd I took your advice and registered at FetLife. Holy shit! They have so many categories of kinky stuff I was flabbergasted. I don’t even know what half of that stuff is! I have much to learn… Most of the pics of women I saw have to be AI — they’re too perfect.

Same user name?

 

[PaxNurgle]

I know they get mad at us for mentioning certain websites, but I know of two right off the bat that I would AVOID:

One of them rhymes with "Backstage" and it's pretty much ALL bots/scammers; go to any city in the country you'll see the exact same ads, or the same text block being re-used over and over again across different ads, the same photo set (typically some tic-tok or fetish model) being used for mulitple different people, and so on.

The other one is that commercial buying/selling site, someones-list (you know the one I mean.) Again, mostly scammers or bots, or worse, you could end up in a dangerous situation responding to an ad there.

Oh and a third one to avoid: Anyone claiming to be a "Mistress" who advertises "Her" services in this forum. ("Her" in quotes because a lot of these scammers are more than likely ran by men.)