How does a 59 yr old man get a hand job

[itsnotacombover]

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

 

[AloneTooLong]

that is all you are hoping for?

 

[Mikethick57]

Easy

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

Do it yourself! You’ll get your relief much quicker

 

[PapaDan]

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

If you have been out of circulation for a while, the first thing I would do ,(in my opinion), is be cautious. There are a lot of people out there, (both men and women), who prey on and take advantage vulnerable men. By all means, date, but don't get serious about anyone until you get used to dating again. I would consider a FWB, (friend with benefits as they say), and take it slow. There are a lot of women out there who are in the same boat. Need sex, but have no one. Just be realistic about relationships.

 

[amofiga]

There are legit dating sites for people your age. I think one is called "Our Time". I know virtually nothing about it other than TV ads. There are other sites for those looking for fast tracking to sex. I'm not sure how trustworthy they are. I don't think trying to make real contacts through Lit or similar sites has a high probability of success.

I have an online friend who has made some contacts through "Ok Cupid" but she has also run into a lot of BS artists who talk big online but never show up for a real face to face meeting. I'm wondering what's happened to people who play with the emotions and hopes of others. Back in my "odyssey" days of making contacts online, if I had a planned face to face, I would move heaven and earth to make it even if it turned out to be with someone totally incompatible.

I'll mention the standard cliché advice of getting involved with groups in your area that are related to your hobbies and interests... biking, hiking, theater, music, whatever. Meet people. Let your friends know you're up for meeting people. I'd suggest that you not just say you're looking for a hand job. As someone above said, you can give yourself hand jobs as well as anybody else. Me, I'd be looking for a lot more. However, as another said, you're no spring chicken. At 59, you're perhaps in a good place financially and there are some "young'uns" that may just be looking for security rather than something better. Best to be cautious of anyone 25 years old that seems like it's too good to be true. It probably is. Good luck my friend. Step one is stop being reclusive.

 

[CandK_inSE]

There are legit dating sites for people your age. I think one is called "Our Time". I know virtually nothing about it other than TV ads. There are other sites for those looking for fast tracking to sex. I'm not sure how trustworthy they are. I don't think trying to make real contacts through Lit or similar sites has a high probability of success.

I have an online friend who has made some contacts through "Ok Cupid" but she has also run into a lot of BS artists who talk big online but never show up for a real face to face meeting. I'm wondering what's happened to people who play with the emotions and hopes of others. Back in my "odyssey" days of making contacts online, if I had a planned face to face, I would move heaven and earth to make it even if it turned out to be with someone totally incompatible.

I'll mention the standard cliché advice of getting involved with groups in your area that are related to your hobbies and interests... biking, hiking, theater, music, whatever. Meet people. Let your friends know you're up for meeting people. I'd suggest that you not just say you're looking for a hand job. As someone above said, you can give yourself hand jobs as well as anybody else. Me, I'd be looking for a lot more. However, as another said, you're no spring chicken. At 59, you're perhaps in a good place financially and there are some "young'uns" that may just be looking for security rather than something better. Best to be cautious of anyone 25 years old that seems like it's too good to be true. It probably is. Good luck my friend. Step one is stop being reclusive.

I lost my mom in 2005 due to a long term fight with MS. My dad, after a period of mourning; they had been married for 36 years, asked me and my sister if it would be okay if he dated. We were both okay with it. He was 64 when he went on Our Time.

All I can say is that one woman treated him like absolute shit in front of me, my wife and her children. All of us were embarrassed for both of them. And that was the best experience. She was a pretty decent looking woman and I know they slept together. At least he got that out of it.

The last one sensed that something wasn't completely right with him (and it wasn't; he was starting to show signs of dementia), and decided to use him and all of his retirement savings. He took her on three trips to the Caribbean, bought her new furniture, and based on financial statements - a car. Once he got to the point where he couldn't function on his own, she dropped him like a hot potato and left him in debt over $120,000. We saw the credit card statements and receipts. When me and my sister confronted this, and I'll be nice, BITCH, over what happened, we were threatened with legal action. My dad died at the end of 2017. He was a CPA and financial planner. His retirement was set up beautifully - at least 7 figures. After this, instead of care in a top-rated facility, he got what Social Security and his small state pension could pay for. No inheritance passed down.

All I'm saying is BE CAREFUL and watch for PREDATORS that will eat you alive!

 

[amofiga]

@CandK_SE

Your story is a perfect example of why children of aging parents MUST get them to a lawyer and establish trusts so that assets can be protected. My wife and I have our assets split into two separate living trusts where each of us has power in the other while we are both alive. When one of us dies, the assets of the deceased goes into an irrevocable trust where the income from that trust goes to the benefit of the remaining spouse. Our daughter as well as the living spouse have control of the irrevocable trust but removal of principle requires the approval by both. If the remaining spouse decides to hook up with a sleazebag (male or female) at least half of the original assets are protected. If someone wants to go into the trust, it can be stopped in court.

It is absolutely imperative that children do NOT leave control of parents assets completely in their parents' hands ESPECIALLY if they get involved with someone or marry again. The children have to be legally included in the disposition of assets. My wife's niece and her husband as well as the husband's sister were too trusting of their mom to handle her own assets and she remarried. She started becoming demented and they still didn't wise up and hire a lawyer to protect their inheritance. As a result, when the mom died, they discovered too late that the new husband had all of her assets including a beachfront condo put in joint name so now, when the surviving husband dies, everything goes to his children by a previous marriage. We're talking assets here in excess of two million dollars. SO by not being proactive and not being vigilant, the mom's own kids have nothing. The new husband's kids have it all.

Everybody denigrates lawyers, but sometimes, it pays to have one in your corner. When it comes to your estate or those of parents, trust nobody but yourself. Second marriages in particular absolutely MUST have a pre-nup regardless of how "nice" someone seems. Money corrupts.

 

[amofiga]

A post script to the above. My one uncle who was in his late 50's when my aunt, his wife died. In a couple of years, he started dating another woman who had several kids. Again, a beach house and a business that several sandwich shops and a liquor store was involved in the estate. The woman had even talked my uncle into letting HER kids live in the house on the ocean.

My one cousin not only confronted the "dating woman" about her kids living in the house, she immediately went to a lawyer and insisted that her dad protect his assets. He did and guess what? The woman who was all lovey dovey with my uncle and hot to become the new wife decided that she didn't want to be involved anymore and broke up with him. That's when he realized that his daughter did the right thing.

 

[yukonnights]

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

I think the advice to "get out there" is sound. But by 'getting out there', I would forego, or postpone, the dating sites. Just sitting alone at home is the killer. So, even if you're a loner type by nature, it'd be good to 'get out there' — to events where others your age might congregate in a social setting. Bottom line, acquaintance leading to friendship leading to outings together, leading to more outings together...and hopefully to mutual desire and satisfaction.

All the stories shared about scammers is good info. I often don't think of that, but it's obviously a real threat. I think my approach, while not bullet-proof, would help one make a better assessment. I guess, it's sort of like back in high-school

 

[minn]

Thank You!

@CandK_SE

Your story is a perfect example of why children of aging parents MUST get them to a lawyer and establish trusts so that assets can be protected. My wife and I have our assets split into two separate living trusts where each of us has power in the other while we are both alive. When one of us dies, the assets of the deceased goes into an irrevocable trust where the income from that trust goes to the benefit of the remaining spouse. Our daughter as well as the living spouse have control of the irrevocable trust but removal of principle requires the approval by both. If the remaining spouse decides to hook up with a sleazebag (male or female) at least half of the original assets are protected. If someone wants to go into the trust, it can be stopped in court.

It is absolutely imperative that children do NOT leave control of parents assets completely in their parents' hands ESPECIALLY if they get involved with someone or marry again. The children have to be legally included in the disposition of assets. My wife's niece and her husband as well as the husband's sister were too trusting of their mom to handle her own assets and she remarried. She started becoming demented and they still didn't wise up and hire a lawyer to protect their inheritance. As a result, when the mom died, they discovered too late that the new husband had all of her assets including a beachfront condo put in joint name so now, when the surviving husband dies, everything goes to his children by a previous marriage. We're talking assets here in excess of two million dollars. SO by not being proactive and not being vigilant, the mom's own kids have nothing. The new husband's kids have it all.

Everybody denigrates lawyers, but sometimes, it pays to have one in your corner. When it comes to your estate or those of parents, trust nobody but yourself. Second marriages in particular absolutely MUST have a pre-nup regardless of how "nice" someone seems. Money corrupts.

Your very first sentence is the key as is your last paragraph! Thank you for making more individuals aware of what must be done.

 

[Hipshot1554]

Any new relationship where money, or gifts are requested or expected is a huge NO NO.

 

[greengamegirl]

If you start with something small, you can’t be disappointed. Maybe you’ll even get way more than you’re looking for. Like those people wanting to meet someone who isn’t criminally insane.

that is all you are hoping for?

 

[Jada59]

There are legit dating sites for people your age. I think one is called "Our Time". I know virtually nothing about it other than TV ads. There are other sites for those looking for fast tracking to sex. I'm not sure how trustworthy they are. I don't think trying to make real contacts through Lit or similar sites has a high probability of success.

I have an online friend who has made some contacts through "Ok Cupid" but she has also run into a lot of BS artists who talk big online but never show up for a real face to face meeting. I'm wondering what's happened to people who play with the emotions and hopes of others. Back in my "odyssey" days of making contacts online, if I had a planned face to face, I would move heaven and earth to make it even if it turned out to be with someone totally incompatible.

I'll mention the standard cliché advice of getting involved with groups in your area that are related to your hobbies and interests... biking, hiking, theater, music, whatever. Meet people. Let your friends know you're up for meeting people. I'd suggest that you not just say you're looking for a hand job. As someone above said, you can give yourself hand jobs as well as anybody else. Me, I'd be looking for a lot more. However, as another said, you're no spring chicken. At 59, you're perhaps in a good place financially and there are some "young'uns" that may just be looking for security rather than something better. Best to be cautious of anyone 25 years old that seems like it's too good to be true. It probably is. Good luck my friend. Step one is stop being reclusive.

I've recently joined several dating sites. All have scammers, some more than others. Sliver Singles is the worst IMO.

My favorite is Plenty Of Fish. You can pay but I don't. Been on it for two days now. It was bad for the first couple of hours. Contacted by so many scammers and people out of my area. Things seem to have settled down now. Am talking to several guys. The one I'm talking to at the moment is the most appealing for what I want.

So I would recommend that. Just be wary of the scammers and be up front about what you want.

There is also a Facebook dating app. If you have messenger, you have it. It's hidden. You have to find the heart, click it then set up an account. It's good too. Especially if you just want sex.

 

[Dandum1570]

How does a 59 year old man get a handjob?

I assume the same way a 29 year old man does. Or was this a trick question?

 

[DesiredbyYou]

@amofiga. @itsnotacombover

My Dad died many years ago, and while Mom wasn’t interested in dating, as she aged her kids - I’m one of them - decided it wasn’t in her best interest to be the only only in charge of her monies. She never had anything amazing, but what she had was hers. We put almost every account of hers put into trust and she wanted that for her own protection. She had ready access to her accounts but she had limits. She liked it that way, was far more comfortable knowing no one could wipe her out.

If you’d like to start “getting out there” protect yourself.

Best wishes

 

[Carnevil9]

Well, since you are on Lit, I assume you are at least a little bit sexually adventurous. I recommend a nudist resort. People are very friendly, and sometimes get a bit frisky. And at ages like ours, single men tend to be in demand.

Some friends of mine swear by the Purple Peacock Resort in Texas. According to your bio, that can't be too far from you. Go there, or somewhere like it, be friendly, have no expectations, and see what happens!

 

[Conager]

I am going to hazard a guess that "handjob" represents an early period of sexuality for you where it was a low pressure ask from a girl on what we used to call "dates" which was a finner or movie of some such where it's a "getting-to-know-you" experience and overt sexual expectations would be rude. You "worked" your way up to casual contact, maybe a kiss, some makeout, then some proffered relief.

I hate to tell you, but times gave changed. When I found myself in your circumstances I wasn't even looking for a hand job I just thought it would be nice to have lunch or breakfast with someone with very low pressure and low expectations.

The problem is it's a whole heck of a lot easier to get laid in our highly sexualized world than it is to just exchange some pleasantries with somebody that might be interesting. I kind of miss the tentative escalations. I could go for some dry-humping, myself.

If something about getting a handjob from somebody that you're not particularly involved with just really does it for you (that specific act) I can't imagine such a thing would be tremendously expensive to hire out. I have no idea where you would go to look for such a thing but obviously people hire more involved sexual serrices than that so if you can find where providers are available just ask.

I'm reading a whole lot into your post that may or may not even be relevant to you so take all of the above where it is helpful, and ignore the rest.

Keep in mind that if a woman is going to be sexual with you on any level in modern society she's going to be more likely than not want to get some sexual need of hers for sale. So you're better off trying to figure out what that is with a protential sexual partner than simply offering to accept such a limited proper from them. I don't think there's really such thing as a good girl who just like giving handjobs so that she doesn't feel like a bad girl anymore.

I could be 100% wrong about that though. There may be women who are similarly feeling nostalgic and just really enjoyed doing that in their youth and would like to revisit that. No idea where you would look for that. It's such a mild kink that it seems like you have trouble finding a that in a kink-friendly community.

The back of a seedier strip club might be an option but I don't know. Generally speaking actual, sexual contact is not allowed.

 

[tnhardon]

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

I mean...are you just lookin for a handjob? Lol

If you are asking how to get back into dating, some of the things other people have mentioned are good pieces of advice. I’ve never had to go back into the dating scene, so my advice wouldn’t help much.

However, if you are just looking for sex, it is worth figuring out if you know of any single females who might be in a similar boat. Even if they aren’t interested in dating, they might want a friend with benefits. If you don’t know of anyone, ask some of your friends. If all else fails, go to places where it is easy to meet people: the bar, some sort of group that shares a hobby or interest, etc.

And, for what it’s worth, I’ve found the best hand jobs come from my own hand. I understand the need for physical intimacy, but I’d be looking for a lot more than a handjob in that circumstance.

 

[A_E_G]

[Snip]

I have an online friend who has made some contacts through "Ok Cupid" but she has also run into a lot of BS artists who talk big online but never show up for a real face to face meeting. I'm wondering what's happened to people who play with the emotions and hopes of others. Back in my "odyssey" days of making contacts online, if I had a planned face to face, I would move heaven and earth to make it even if it turned out to be with someone totally incompatible

[Snip].

They are probably AI bots designed to pad the site and lure customers with their too good to be true attributes.

 

[Sheana_V]

Hire a prostitute.

 

[Patgarrett]

I'm 62.and it's all been done to me.the long con,(we all know what that is) the short con.fake profiles..people with more problems than even

Myself.!horrors.try karaoke.no one can usually sing very well.even if you are not a big drinker ,it can be a non hammered crowd.you can at least meet some folks.I know I'm meeting no one in my living room.in 845 area code by the by,pm me. Garrettr

 

[MidKnight1378]

Happy Ending...

I'm a 59 yr old man that's been away from all the dating scene for quite sometime. My wife has been gone awhile and I've been a bit reclusive.
I just want some relief maybe on a steady basis. I'm told I need to get out there. Just trying to get started.

Most any town has a massage parlor where a happy ending may be obtained. I’m a member of my local American Legion Hall and there’s one near there that leaves flyers with coupons and advertises a Veterans Discount.

 

[Dandum1570]

Did you recently have a birthday? If so, you should probably change the thread title to "How does a 60 year old man get a hand job?"

 

[hogjack]

Hire a prostitute.

Cash is king. Or venmo. Whatever. This is the way to go. And make sure other people you trust are aware of what you are doing in case there is an issue.

 

[paul60]

just ask lol