How do you?

[Ezzie]

Tell someone that they are being too clingy and needy?

I'm recently separated from my soon to be ex husband and a friend of mine convinced me to go out with a male friend of hers. I went out with him last friday night and now it's non stop calls, e-mails, him wanting to come over and he pouts when I tell him that I'm busy. I'm in the middle of moving and my daughter is having emotional troubles right now, so, I have a lot on my plate and this guy is pushing my limits. He got upset with me because I have to take my daughter to counseling tonight and I won't let him come over after we're back.

Now, I sort of like this guy. He's easy to talk to most of the time, he's fun to be around and he generally seems like a nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. I do, however want to get my own life straightened out before I drag someone else into it. How do I tell this guy that I need some space and time without pushing him away all together?

 

[Guest]

Fuck him continuously for a week until he freaks out.

 

[Guest]

Now, I sort of like this guy. He's easy to talk to most of the time, he's fun to be around and he generally seems like a nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. I do, however want to get my own life straightened out before I drag someone else into it. How do I tell this guy that I need some space and time without pushing him away all together?

Just repeat this to his face.

 

[marksgirl]

Sounds a little to clingy already to me! I mean you have not even known him that long and he is already getting upset when you have other things of importance to do than see him....

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Re: How do you?

Just repeat this to his face.

Exactly. It's the only sage way.

 

[Image]

Run for your life

and quickly! What you describe is more than "clingy" That needy behavior will probably get worse... Just my opinion, though after one week if he's already this annoying (understatement) it won't get any better.

 

[Guest]

Tell the Sucker to back off or thats it no you have more importiant thing you have to do

if that doesn't work tell him to Fuck Off



I have been thinking about dating again myself I have been divorced for 7 months now but in my postion I can't let people know who I am most people here know what I do but not who I am

 

[Ezzie]

I've tried to give subtle hints, but, maybe you guys are right. I just need to come right out and tell him what's going on.

The other thing that bothers me is his constant need to touch me. Hand holding, kissing, back rubbing, things like that. There's just some days when I don't feel like being touched and I start to get defensive when it becomes too much for me and then he says that I don't like him. I won't even get into how upset he got when I turned him down for sex.

 

[Pyper]

I say: Stop being so clingy, dammit!

Hmm, maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend.

 

[marksgirl]

I've tried to give subtle hints, but, maybe you guys are right. I just need to come right out and tell him what's going on.

The other thing that bothers me is his constant need to touch me. Hand holding, kissing, back rubbing, things like that. There's just some days when I don't feel like being touched and I start to get defensive when it becomes too much for me and then he says that I don't like him. I won't even get into how upset he got when I turned him down for sex.

I think I'd run and run quick! I had this one guy tell me he loved me after the first date...*see Marksgirl run*

 

[Guest]

I've tried to give subtle hints, but, maybe you guys are right. I just need to come right out and tell him what's going on.

The other thing that bothers me is his constant need to touch me. Hand holding, kissing, back rubbing, things like that. There's just some days when I don't feel like being touched and I start to get defensive when it becomes too much for me and then he says that I don't like him. I won't even get into how upset he got when I turned him down for sex.

he is looking for one thing and that is all he is looking for SEX

get rid of him fast

 

[Ezzie]

I think this is my punishment for being clingy in the past. They say what goes around comes around.

 

[marksgirl]

I think this is my punishment for being clingy in the past. They say what goes around comes around.

But it does not mean you have to put up with it now! You are the one here in control girl! If he is creeping you out dump him like a turd!

 

[Ezzie]

But it does not mean you have to put up with it now! You are the one here in control girl! If he is creeping you out dump him like a turd!

Well, it's either take your advice and dump him or sit down and have a serious talk with him. I need to decide and soon because this is causing me a great deal of stress and I shouldn't have to stress over 3 men at once. (3 men meaning ex husband and father of my child, soon to be ex husband #2 and current guy)

 

[marksgirl]

Well, it's either take your advice and dump him or sit down and have a serious talk with him. I need to decide and soon because this is causing me a great deal of stress and I shouldn't have to stress over 3 men at once. (3 men meaning ex husband and father of my child, soon to be ex husband #2 and current guy)

Oh girl you are not just kidding! Dealing with just one man can sometimes be to stressful!

 

[Ezzie]

Oh girl you are not just kidding! Dealing with just one man can sometimes be to stressful!

Amen to that, Sister. lol

 

[marksgirl]

Good luck doll.

 

[Ezzie]

Good luck doll.

Thanks, I think I'm gonna need it.

 

[peachykeen]

Can't top the advice that's already been given, sweetie, but here's my 2 pennies anyway-

You have to be straight with him and you know what if his feelings get hurt then that is unfortunate, but you need to look out for YOU (and of course your daughter) right now, you do not have time for his needy crap. Don't let him make you feel guilty, damn it. He is an adult so he needs to act like one, instead trying to manipulate you while you are in an emotionally vulnerable place in your life.

Tell him you have had a lovely time with him, but you think it's best if you parted company at this point.

 

[Ezzie]

That's good advice, Peachy.

It's time for me to fish or cut bait and I choose to cut bait.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'd dump him, Ezzie. He's showing no respect or regard for you and that likely won't change with time.

 

[DarkAngel]

I say: Stop being so clingy, dammit!

Hmm, maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend.

Now you tell me!

You could have told me before you called the cops!

 

[Ezzie]

I know that you're right, Ruby. I just wish it would have never come to this.

What happened to the women being the clingy-needy ones? I'm not used to having the tables turned on me like that and now I know how annoying it can really be.

 

[Cheyenne]

What happened to the women being the clingy-needy ones? I'm not used to having the tables turned on me like that and now I know how annoying it can really be.

Looks like you at least learned something from the experience. I'll bet you try hard to never be that clingy-needy kind of person yourself in the future.

 

[watergirl]

Ooooo, I HATE needy men. I cannot deal with them. Nothing is a bigger annoyance and turn of than clingyness. Which is not to say I don't want to be called or touched - I love both, but I have a life, and certain things in it are very important to me, and will sometimes take priority over some guy I'm just dating. If he can't handle it, ditch him. You'll feel better.

Chey, you're damn right, once again. What's it like to be right so often? Feels good, I suppose. I do try to be aware of whether I am being needy or pushy, and that sort of thing. I know that I get pushier when I'm being ignored. Then I catch on, smack my forehead, and stop it.