How do you tell someone that you weren't impressed?

[KillerMuffin]

You read a poem and you know they're sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear how you liked it. You know they want to hear how you liked it, not how you didn't like it--it's human nature to want the good.

But, you pretty much think it sucked.

What do you say?

 

[Arden]

You read a poem and you know they're sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear how you liked it. You know they want to hear how you liked it, not how you didn't like it--it's human nature to want the good.

But, you pretty much think it sucked.

What do you say?

How about:

"It was an terribly intriguing composition, and gave me much to ponder regarding the subject matter. I very much look forward to your future contributions."

 

[Angeline]

I try to find something good to say

to soften the blow; usually if i look hard enough there is some little thing: an image, an idea trying to be expressed. Then i might say in general what i think the work is missing or why i think it doesn't achieve its purpose (i.e., to communicate to the reader). Then I'd probably try to suggest some resources that might help. By this i mean poems. i think most people need to read others' poetry and think about what makes it good to improve their own writing.

 

[Star At Sunrise]

Damn good question

IMPRACTICAL OPINION-

That's a great question.

I don't know. I can tell you that I came to lit and wanted to earn my way into chatting in the Stories and Authors room, so I wrote a few stories. Poems are quicker (but not any easier) to write, so I wrote a few of those, some of them tossed off, and now I regret posting them. That's why I never link to my own poetry here.

And then I found this discussion thread which is filled with creative, passionate, and intelligent people, and of course as a writer, I love to hear people discuss my work.

Reading the threads somewhat, I could see that the "little birds" screaming for attention rarely get it (Eve is the supra dupra exception), so I committed myself to reviewing other poets here , to , again, "earn" being reviewed myself.

Well, it was a blast for a while. You feel all teacher-critic like, spouting off on different works, and when you stumble upon a truely great poem, it's breathtaking and makes every bad poem worth it.

Until I got to this one poet, who I thought was terrible. The trouble is, everone treated this poet very well because the poetry was long and literate. But what can I say? "These poems stink?"

I know what I like, and I like poems that can punch you in the gut with a slice of honesty as well as caress you gently with a word melody. Truth breaks out of a good poem like a glowing crack in a dark surface, and you can only really get at that painful/wonderful truth by plumbing into your soul.

But how could I write a discouraging review of something that someone shared from deep inside their hearts? I know there's a difference between writers who honestly want tough feedback, and others who secretly want to be appreciated for their inner selves. And they're trying to express themselves through poetry, and I encourage that.

Some people could think that your poems are like your "children" but I think it's even closer than that. Poems are really "your expression", but they're not "you" even though we must pour ourselves into a poem to make it any good.

It's so easy and seems logical that if people say they don't like a particular expression of yourself, they don't like "you" and feelings get hurt and we're all plunged into existential pain.

And of course, what if you really just don't like the poet either? What do you say then?

PRACTICAL ADVICE

Get another nickname called "Stone Cold Poet Fucker" and use it when you want to tear into another poet. You can even come into the thread under your orginal nickname and berate your new nickname for being rude.

 

[JUDO]

You read a poem and you know they're sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear how you liked it. You know they want to hear how you liked it, not how you didn't like it--it's human nature to want the good.

But, you pretty much think it sucked.

What do you say?

Simple.

You tell them why it sucked, and offer insight and suggestions into how to improve the work.

If you can't do that, you tell them "I wasn't impressed." and offer apologies for not knowing why.


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

It depends on the poet. When someone new to the board stops in and asks about their poem, I try to give feedback without overwhelming them. Maybe start with discussing the basics. Sometimes, I may suggest something as simple as breaking a long poem into stanzas. I also try to find something nice to say about the poem, even if it's only, "I like that word you used." As you get to know a poet, then you have a better idea about what they want and what you can say to them.
I've learned the hard way that in most cases it's best not to tell a new poet everything that's not working with their poem, unless they ask you to. I know it can be very discouraging. And if they stick around, there will time for that later.
But if they do ask for the truth, give it to them in a constructive way, and try to explain why the poem doesn't work, and how they might be able to improve it.

There's also the run and hide option. I've tried that.

 

[Rybka]

Easiest way is to duck the issue and tell them to send the poem to Senna Jawa or Blarneystoned!

(Just kidding!)


Regards, Jarry

 

[BgMma]

break the news

The thing I admire most is honesty.
Its so much easier to handle bad news if it is done in a tactful and honest way.
I can handle the "YOU SUCK", but you get much more from someone telling you why he or she didn't like it/ It's still hard to accept, but in the end, it's the message that counts.
Say what you like, say what you don't and offer a suggestion or an opinon.
This sounds real good coming from me, the Queen of Shit Fit, you can laugh here, but I can deal better with an example than I can a "You blow".
I also have to say it depends on the person. If you know the person it is sometimes harder to tell them.
I have to say it again, HONESTY. Just be truthful and if someone gets mad, he or she will get over and write again, or she or he will stay mad and write again. Either way, at least they know!

 

[OT]

It depends a little bit on why you thought it sucked.

If you're pretty sure that you know exactly what they were going for and they miserably missed the mark - then simply saying "it's not my style" is the most tactful. Short, un-sugar coated and to the point. Anything more and you start to tread on dishonestly leading them on.

As others have mentioned, if you can find something tangible to nudge them gently in the right direction., then go with that. (e.g. "That particular subject just isn't my thing" or "It was a bit too wordy for my tastes", etc.) Note that if option one was more appropriate, this option will get you in trouble because they will change the content or remove the wordy-ness and you'll have to think of how to tell them their second draft sucked.

If there is a reasonable chance that there might be a good poem in there, and you honestly think you might be missing something, then "I couldn't relate to it" coupled with a follow up question is appropriate. (What were you trying to say? , what inspired it? etc.)
Here again, if in your heart of hearts know that Option 1 or 2 would have been more appropriate, then going this way digs you into a deeper hole.

Of course, if the person wanting feedback hapens to be your spouse or significant other, then I've a whole 'nuther set of options.

O.T.

 

[stargirl32]

i personaly like to be told whats wrong ,, as long as your HONEST ... ,, i agree with eve in that.... DONT KISS MY BUTT ,,, BUt DONT KICK IT NETHER ,, ,, what i mean is ,, ok you hate my work ,, it dosn't say a thing to you ,, then ok ,.. tell me ,, but don't be rude,, the old rule of treat others as you wish to be treated is still valid here ,,, it might just be case of one mans posion is anothers passion


a spot of honey goes further than a gallon of vinager...