How do you recognize kink......?

[KMack]

Ok here's the thing, before you get sexually intimate with someone, and begin a relationship, you would like to know what they are into. I feel it would be a waste of time if I met a lady, and weeks later find out that she only likes missionary style, nothing interesting. Please spare me from this and tell me what I can do. I need a woman who likes adventure...on top, on the bottom, anal, oral, watersports, etc... I mean, work with me here, I can't just meet a lady and 2 nights later ask her if I can ram it up her ass!!! ...Any advice would be welcome...

Just need to know how to find a woman who has no inhibitions, or as few as possible.

 

[Feistyred16]

Ok here's the thing, before you get sexually intimate with someone, and begin a relationship, you would like to know what they are into. I feel it would be a waste of time if I met a lady, and weeks later find out that she only likes missionary style, nothing interesting. Please spare me from this and tell me what I can do. I need a woman who likes adventure...on top, on the bottom, anal, oral, watersports, etc... I mean, work with me here, I can't just meet a lady and 2 nights later ask her if I can ram it up her ass!!! ...Any advice would be welcome...

Just need to know how to find a woman who has no inhibitions, or as few as possible.

I think you can usually tell how open a person is after talking to them a few times, but then I'm a pretty open person. I find if the conversations goes towards sex usually in a few days, its much easier to bring up likes & dislikes...but then thats just me...

 

[Bent]

You definately have to talk. I have friends who I thought were straight as an arrow, only to find out that they are pretty damn adventurous. This after over a decade of 'knowing' them.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

And, sometimes, talking about it will bring out suppressed desires. I didn't know how kinky I was until someone started talking dirty to me, and led me places I didn't know I could go. Turns out, Mr Vanilla is a huge kinkster...and I didn't even know myself!

 

[Mysticcal]

As everyone said, communication is important, and if you are going to be intimate with someone, you should be able to talk about their likes and dislikes....and usually those are fun conversations anyway and they can fit into the getting to know you category. However, don't discount anyone because they may seem shy or a little reserved (putting a plug in for those of us that are wildly unihibited once we know someone but painful shy at first).....and good luck

 

[lilpriss]

I have to agree with the consensus here, the best thing to be is yourself... if the other person can't handle it... that's their problem... better to find out sooner than later. I mean there is a thing called manners, but in getting to know someone you can easily feel them out. The mention of sex (depending on my level of interest of course) opens up a new dimension to my personality. My sexuality stays well below the surface unless I'm sleeping with you, then all is fair game. Some people dont' even know they are wild until someone shows them in the right way that these things can be fun.

Attitude is everything, you act like an all knowing, condescending ass and you can expect even the most uninhibited of women to close up. If you approach it as a joint adventure you'll be surprised.

 

[Lust Engine]

Like every says here, communication is the key here and like it or not, communication can take some time. You can't rush into it; layers of comfort have to be peeled back slowly. Some people can open up faster than others but that revealing of oneself is different for each person.

Sure you'd love to open up that detective novel and find out who the killer is but half the fun is also in building up the storyline. Once the build up is there, you can start to explore options & talk things out.

We all need mental stimulation of some kind. You also have to reveal your dislikes/ likes to her eventually too. I can't imagine on the second date that she'd like to express her kinkiest desires to you either. And what happens if she wants something you are in complete disagreement with ("Okay big fella, I wanna shove this 18" dildo right up to your ass as you wear this Annie Oakley costume"). Some kind of negotiations have to take place.

We'd love to be able to look across a crowded room, make eye contact with the most beautiful person around and without saying a word, go off and have the wildest sex of our lives and realize they're our ideal soul mates for all eternity... but alas it doesn't happen that easily.

 

[Noor]

I may be kinky, but no one gets up my ass in two days.

My level of kinkiness is partner specific.

Sounds like you want someone who is kinky, fast and more interested in sex than you.

If the type of sex is more important than the person then I think you should just tell that to a woman when you meet her, if you are lucky you'll find someone just like yourself. I don't see why you can't ask a woman about anal if that is what you want, it would certainly save a lot of time and wasted energy on both your parts.

 

[Noor]

 

[MissTaken]

IF you dont' feel like you can just talk about it, sometimes a well placed joke or "tongue in cheek " remark is a great way to gauge reaction.

"Hey, look at the clothesline on sale...what do ya think?" *giggles*

Also, I have found that in terms of meeting other kinksters, using on line dating services is a benefit as you can have those discussions, safely and anonymously.

Good luck and enjoy.

 

[Lust Engine]

I don't see why you can't ask a woman about anal if that is what you want, it would certainly save a lot of time and wasted energy on both your parts.

But be prepared to duck!

 

[Hairgrip]

I have often been seen as a 'good girl'. Quiet, shy, nice. Thing is my partner will tell you different - but that is something he has only been able to do since he got to know me better. I can do things with him I'd never have thought of with my previous shag piece.
The things he likes are not things that I could have judged from first meeting him. Luckily we happen to be compatable... what can I say!
I agree with Noor, 2 days is a wee bit speedy...
If I were u, and into non-conventional sexual practices (watersports, anal) then I would hold back from discussing those with a potential partner and find out more about them first.
Sex is fab and everything, but you need to find the right person to talk to inbetween sessions and the right person to have other types of fun with... don't you?
Hx

 

[SexyChele]

Ok here's the thing, before you get sexually intimate with someone, and begin a relationship, you would like to know what they are into. I feel it would be a waste of time if I met a lady, and weeks later find out that she only likes missionary style, nothing interesting. Please spare me from this and tell me what I can do. I need a woman who likes adventure...on top, on the bottom, anal, oral, watersports, etc... I mean, work with me here, I can't just meet a lady and 2 nights later ask her if I can ram it up her ass!!! ...Any advice would be welcome...

Just need to know how to find a woman who has no inhibitions, or as few as possible.

Okay, I know I am adventurous, as I have been told on several occasions. However, if you met me, you would think I was extremely conservative. If you were to get to know me, I would probably even admit, after a while, that I am into anal sex. Does that mean I would engage in anal sex within a few weeks of meeting you?

HELL NO!

Most kinks take a lot of trust between two people to fulfill and get the most out of by both people. It might be several months before I get to the kinky stuff. Why? Because if I'm going to give that much of myself to another person, I want to know him very well. I also want to know that he's going to be around for more than just kinky sex.

I do understand what you are saying. There are many people, men and women, who have become involved in relationships and even married people who did not match them sexually, and never will. But it takes knowing the person beforehand, and that can take time. When/if the relationship turns serious, just be certain you can honestly communicate what you want plainly and clearly.

 

[drew62]

I agree with Sexychele, it takes a while to get comfortable enough with the person you know to find out certain things. It took me over 3 years to let my wife know that I'm interested in having my ass played with. It has opened a whole new door (no pun intended or maybe it is LOL) to our sexual activities.

Sorry to say that there are very few people out there that have "IM INTO KINKY THINGS" stamped on their foreheads.

 

[Bandit58]

A year ago I would have been horrified about doing the things I do now with my lover. I was shy and inhibited and married to the wrong man. My lover brought out things I didn't even know were there, it just seems a natural expression of our love. We haven't tried any bondage stuff (yet ) but we do anal and a little bit of watersports, and we try new positions (for me )

I trust him implicitly and that's the key.....the man I was married to for 23 years I could hardly bring myself to touch let alone do much else. I discovered that I am a sexual person at 43 years old. In fact my lover has discovered things about himself since we've been together.....

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Gods_Favorite]

It took me and my wife a while to get into kinky sex, it took us about 6 months to get into anal play, me licking her ass and giving it to her up the ass etc. and an extra 6 months to introduce sex toys like dildos and vibrators into our sex play, it just seems like wer getting more sexually open by the day, when I first started having sex with my wife she said she'd never consider anal sex, now part of our regular sex play is her swallowing her 9 inch realistic looking cock while I pound her asshole from behind and tell her to pretend like its a real cock and to suck it like its a real cock lol, I think we've came along way

 

[sheath]

We'd love to be able to look across a crowded room, make eye contact with the most beautiful person around and without saying a word, go off and have the wildest sex of our lives and realize they're our ideal soul mates for all eternity... but alas it doesn't happen that easily.

So...ahem...

Where exactly in Michigan are you?????

S.

 

[Mstrskey]

Kinky stuff

I have to agree with the peoplpe here who have said that it takes alot of open communication, time, and trust.
I have known my best friend for years, we literally grew up together, and we've always discussed everything. I taught him how to kiss girls, hell I practically taught him how to have sex, and it wasn't until we moved a few years into an actual intimate relationship that I began to discover my sweet, safe, vanilla friend was in fact a raging nympho with a serious voyueristic streak, and a few kinks that even made me blush!!
Now sure there are people out there who will on your first encounter tell you straight up that, " Oh hey, just so you know, I have this thing for being tickled with dismembered squirrel tails on my asshole"- okay maybe not that kinky...lol! but they are the minority. By it's very definition a kink, or fetish is percieved to be outside the norms of sexual intimacy- note I said percieved it always suprises me how many people think they're kinky only to discover about athousand other folks are into the same things-if somebody thinks they are outside the norms they generally wait until a level of trust/intimacy has been reached before they bring the topic up.

I have always considered myself to be a fairly uninhibited person. Very little embarrasses me and I consider very few things taboo, but if I just met you at a bar or whatever I'm not going to to necessarily discuss the ways in which I like to be talked to in bed, or the particulars of my own intimate desires.

If you want a relationship you'll have to be patient and discover things about your new partner in the time they feel comfortable with. Don't hide anything. If you like ass play then make her aware. If she finds it repellant decide if ass play is going to be a pivitol enough part of your sexual intimacy with this person to warrant dropping the relationship.
If you just want to find another individual who shares your kink then try personal ads. All the kink and none of the intimacy hangups.