How do you get someone's attention....

[Willing and Unsure]

This is kind of a specific thing for me, and I might be getting a little help from mutual friend deal on this one, but I still have to ask....

So you meet someone at some event, activity, or whatever. You talk, you get the feeling that the guy is into you, but you're not sure right away if you're into him too. Well, next time you see him, you are sure and you want to get to know him better, possibly start dating, and so on. How do you let him know without coming right out and saying it?

I've dated before and all, just I'm usually the one to ask the guy out, and I dont want to do that this time. I'd like for him to make the first move. So, any advice for me?

 

[firefighter02]

Good question, and although I am crappy at making first moves, let me see if I can throw out some ideas.

First it is important to remember that we men can't read minds..in fact when it comes to most things like, "does she like me" "should I ask her out" the majority of us are just plain boobs.

With that said..If you gave the guy the impression that you weren't into him, he may have picked up on that. Continue talking to him, hanging out in those same places...convienently running into him all the time...A funny placed "You know if we dont' quit running into each other people will think we are dating" comment might be enough to break the ice.

Be noticed whithout being noticable...Hard to do. Honestly, if you like this guy, or just want to get to know him better, it might just be something you have to bite the bullet and bring up to him. You don't need to come right out and ask him out, but maybe just continuing conversations you have had with him might do the trick. You have to go from "maybe not interested" to "Hey, let's talk".

Best of Luck W&U...Any guy would be darn lucky to count you as a friend....

And if the subtleness doesn't work..offer to show him your animals

FF

 

[Kat-sh]

I have a special kind of smile and look in my eyes when I am interested in someone, so i have been told, and it never fails... those that are not interested just stammer and get away very quickly, men or women.
I have been practicing that lately and it gets even more so

 

[Bobmi357]

Find out his email address. Start a simple and friendly email conversation with him.

Then one day compose and email to send to you girlfriend lamenting over this cool guy you know that you'd like to know better and "accidently" send it to him.

 

[sheath]

Show you are interested by letting your curiousity take over. Are you wondering what his family is like? Ask him. Tell him the truth...that you have dozens of questions and then fire away. Delve into all those things you wonder...how does he feel about this or that? What does he do when he's not working or hanging out with friends? What makes him tick?

Just showing genuine interest in a person, and wanting to get into his head, is a huge compliment. And best of all, it's honest. There is no subterfuge, no games, no guessing...just saying 'I want to know what makes you who you are' is as honest as it gets, it's flattering...and it gets the point across without any pressure for either of you.

Then, if he's interested? You'll find out soon enough.

S.

 

[ReadyOne]

The girl that got to me the fastest just came up to me while I was talking with a group of people and started acting like we were old intimate friends.

She put herself way inside my personal space, touching me casually (not sensually) as if we did it all the time.

She held eye contact, smiled, acted like I could do no wrong, supported me in the conversation, took my arm when the group started to drift apart.

10 minutes later we were outside under the stars cuddling with each other almost like in the afterglow of sex, though we didn't even grope each other.

The next morning it just seemed natural to find out what she was doing, which was (of course) anything I wanted to do.

We were together pretty much constantly untill we left for different schools. (I was "dear john"ed a couple of weeks later when I tried to make a visit. Just a quickie summer romance I guess!)

 

[Willing and Unsure]

These are all great suggestions. I dont konw the guy very well, and we saw each other again last night and did the whole catch each other's gaze from across the room a few times. It was one of those slightly difficult situations where I didnt want to get too obvious about things since we were in a room filled with about 40 other women. I really didnt want the rumor mill starting for either one of us, at least not there.

And to make it a little clear, we're both in college, and last night was an activity meeting, which is where I met him. He had said at the beginning of the meeting, while I was working with him in a smaller group that he wasnt going to be back there next school year. But towards the end of our small group work he had changed his mind and wants to be back next year again. So I'm a little curious. And the other person in our group was a guy, so I'm hoping he's not gay and that's why he said it. But I'm going to be optimistic here....


I do like the email idea though. Because he did give me his email address last night. It's just one of those things that would almost seem a little odd though because it's nothing like any of my friend's email addresses, but that's okay. I just might try it.

 

[Cathleen]

Hi W&U....

I think you just found your opening.....talk to him about the school choice....ask him why he was or is thinking of a different choice... its an opening.....maybe you can grab some coffee, etc. just be you, please!

Good luck!

 

[Guest]

 

[Ezzy]

When you are seeing or emailing him, be honest about what you want or are lookoing for.

If the idea of not having to make the first move all the time is important to you as it sounds, then let him know it clearly, not hidden in the middle of an email about the activities that you are involved in, make it clear but not forcefully so.

You can even make light of it, when the talk / emails get around to relationships, you can say you are unhappy having to make the first move and you wish (hope) that the next guy that likes you enough to want to start a relationship, would just have the guts to ask straight out.

If that doesn't scare the socks of him he may get a clue as to what you are talking about.

Men are not mind readers as someone else said, nor are they wanting to be on the receiving end of a negative.

Give him more than enough clues, then more than enough again, then just when he is unsure if he is reading the signals correctly give him them again.

And he may surprise you!

Or he may be gay and interested in the other guy in your small group, but I don't really think that is the case.

 

[PrincessHoney]

smiles do it!

the guy i've just met said that he was utterly entranced by my smile... i turned around and grinned..... he said it made me look so warm and friendly he couldn't resist asking for my number!!


(and also means that i get too be woo'ed.. i've been sent flowers to home and to work already! in a week! i guess the smile made me look sweet and innocent!)