How do you find a good Daddy/Dom?

[bbw05]

I'm a bit new to all this, interested in experimenting and want to learn more about being a good Sub. It seems though there are a lot of bad Doms/Daddies out there and that's obviously not a path I want to travel.

Any advice would be welcome on how to start out?

Thanks

 

[sereneone4u]

Go slow, get to know the Dom before you jump into a relationship and pay attention to his actions. If it does not feel right do not do anything and do not allow yourself to be bullied into doing anything.

I am new to it to, but these should be the basics anyways.

Good luck, I know others will give you excellent advice.

 

[CutieMouse]

There are more options than just Dom/sub; there's nothing wrong with exploring without the label, or doing things as Top/bottom. Are you wanting to explore online or off? What does "submission" look like to you? What qualities are important to you in friends/lovers? (It will translate.)

 

[bbw05]

Thanks a lot, good points and you're absolutely right. I'll think on it some more as I'm still not sure what I want/need.

I think there's also some trial and error involved. I have all kind of things I want to try (online and in person), but sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality and vis-versa. But how do you know if you'll like something if you never try it

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Get involved with your local groups.

Read the stickies here and in the Cafe'.

Go out and read some real books.

Go out and read some stuff online. HOWEVER - there is a lot of absolute, utter bullshit out there that passes for knowledge that is nothing more than cyber-fueled wank fodder. Learn the difference between someone writing their "I wish it was like this" fantasy bullshit from the "this is the real, day to day way I live my life" stuff.

Reflect on what YOU want, what YOU need in a relationship first. Then worry about the kink stuff. If the RELATIONSHIP isn't solid, the kink don't mean shit. Don't settle.

If you want to try/experiment, do so. But don't lie to yourself and pretend that the guy or gal you are PLAYING with is looking for a relationship just because they agreed to play. Seriously. Unless the relationship stuff is built on BOTH sides of the flogger, it ain't going no where.

See above comment. Repeat as necessary.

 

[eastern sun]

Get involved with your local groups.

Read the stickies here and in the Cafe'.

Go out and read some real books.

Go out and read some stuff online. HOWEVER - there is a lot of absolute, utter bullshit out there that passes for knowledge that is nothing more than cyber-fueled wank fodder. Learn the difference between someone writing their "I wish it was like this" fantasy bullshit from the "this is the real, day to day way I live my life" stuff.

Reflect on what YOU want, what YOU need in a relationship first. Then worry about the kink stuff. If the RELATIONSHIP isn't solid, the kink don't mean shit. Don't settle.

If you want to try/experiment, do so. But don't lie to yourself and pretend that the guy or gal you are PLAYING with is looking for a relationship just because they agreed to play. Seriously. Unless the relationship stuff is built on BOTH sides of the flogger, it ain't going no where.

See above comment. Repeat as necessary.

Excellent advice. And remember. . . you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

Frogs that might be poisonous. So be cautious. And learn how to recognize the venomous ones when you see them.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Excellent advice. And remember. . . you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

Frogs that might be poisonous. So be cautious. And learn how to recognize the venomous ones when you see them.

Maybe I should try kissing and see what happens.

 

[eastern sun]

Maybe I should try kissing and see what happens.

I think kissing is one of the better places to start.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I think kissing is one of the better places to start.

Yeah, I have this terrible reaction habit of giving the cheek. Even as a kid I would give the cheek, or put my head down to have my forehead kissed instead.

I am going to practice closing my eyes and opening my face from now on.

 

[eastern sun]

Yeah, I have this terrible reaction habit of giving the cheek. Even as a kid I would give the cheek, or put my head down to have my forehead kissed instead.

I am going to practice closing my eyes and opening my face from now on.

an open face is a beautiful face