How do you dump your girlfriend ?

[Râleclins]

Hi,

Well, the title of the thread says almost everything. But the trick is, how do you break up with her without hurting her too much ?

I'll give some info about the background. We've been together for "only" a month and a half. When I first kissed her, I had been feeling bad about being single, and I felt she was pretty and funny. Since that, I feel I've realized that we had little in common, that I didn't feel very well with her, that I didn't see the both of us going anywhere... She's also very busy and we don't meet often enough, and when we meet, we are so uneasy that I feel we hardly spoke about anything. She's shy too, which wouldn't be a turnoff in itself if I really liked the rest of her...

I really don't think she's feeling that way. She keeps sending me the cutest emails and telling me sweet things.

So, the question is, how can I tell her that it's over ? I hope I'll bring together enough courrage to say it next time I meet her. I don't want to do it by phone or mail. (or worse, SMS)
Thanks !

 

[Ms_Lilith]

We've been together for "only" a month and a half. When I first kissed her, I had been feeling bad about being single, and I felt she was pretty and funny. Since that, I feel I've realized that we had little in common, that I didn't feel very well with her, that I didn't see the both of us going anywhere... She's also very busy and we don't meet often enough, and when we meet, we are so uneasy that I feel we hardly spoke about anything. She's shy too, which wouldn't be a turnoff in itself if I really liked the rest of her...

See that? Say that.

 

[Ezzy]

See that? Say that.

Like she says... but don't forget to offer to stay around as a fuck buddy, that way you can come off as a sensitive sort of guy.

 

[Râleclins]

Ok, so I guess I should read my own question first ?

So, basically, you're telling me to tell the whole truth and all ? Can't it hurt her if I say my feelings too bluntly ?

 

[LadyG]

Ok, so I guess I should read my own question first ?

So, basically, you're telling me to tell the whole truth and all ? Can't it hurt her if I say my feelings too bluntly ?

If telling her the truth, after a month, destroys her....You're lucky you got away before 2 months!

Seriously, tell her the truth. It's always so much better in the long run.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree with the truth. You might want to reword it a little with more "I" statements so she doesn't feel like it's her fault (I'm getting the impression it's not her, you two just don't click that well). Maybe something like this with some compliments about her positive qualities and a hope that she finds someone more compatible...

I've been thinking about this a lot, and have realized that we don't have much in common and that I don't see the both of us going anywhere... We're both busy and we don't meet often enough, and when we meet, we are shy and uneasy around eachother.

 

[madmanmike]

do this. make her break up with you. just become a slop. be less sensitive. bathe less. wear your underwear for a few days at a t ime without changing. make yourself undesireable. trust me you will have a fight and she will leave.

 

[OneSublimeGuy]

Ok, so I guess I should read my own question first ?

So, basically, you're telling me to tell the whole truth and all ? Can't it hurt her if I say my feelings too bluntly ?

I'd think about that Jack Nicholson quote "You can't handle the truth!" All women say they want honesty but they're just self delusional. Just try bein' "honest" when you get the "does this make me look fat?"
questions!! No pussy for a month!! Tell her you're bein' drafted and shipped over to Iraq. Then maybe you'll get one great good-bye bang weekend to provide closure to the whole fiasco.

 

[Râleclins]

Tell her you're bein' drafted and shipped over to Iraq. Then maybe you'll get one great good-bye bang weekend to provide closure to the whole fiasco.

I can't really say that, I'm French

 

[Eilan]

do this. make her break up with you. just become a slop. be less sensitive. bathe less. wear your underwear for a few days at a t ime without changing. make yourself undesireable. trust me you will have a fight and she will leave.

It doesn't sound like they see each other often enough for this to work.

I agree with most of what's been said already. And, please, have the balls to tell her in person. You'd prefer that if the tables were turned, wouldn't you?

 

[nycphoto]

Screw her first she sounds kinky, the shy ones always are. If then you still don't care for her company. Just call her up and let her know. Or just don't take her calls or repond to her emails. She will get the point soon enough.

 

[Miss Trixie]

like they said just tell her. a month is not a long time, there's no need to be wasting your time or her time and there's no dignity in leading someone on. she'll be ok, and if not at least you won't have to be there to see it.

 

[OneSublimeGuy]

I can't really say that, I'm French

So what? Ever hear of The Big Lie(tm) ??

 

[Râleclins]

LOL Some of your answers are really funny. Thanks for making me laugh

Anyway... Things have changed a little bit now, since, erm, yesterday I kissed another girl (that we shall call girl n°2) that I've been interested in for some time. At least I really have the motivation to break up with the first one now. I'll see n°1 tomorrow afternoon... I'm not quite sure whether I should tell her that there's n°2. Maybe later. If she ever speaks to me again. (Hope she will at least give me back the shirt she's borrowed. I know, that's low to think like that. )

 

[SlyKitten]

Please, just tell her the truth. Mention the less possible 'whys' unless she asks them.

I'm sorry but this relationship is not what I'm looking for. I am not sure yet of what it is I'm looking for, but 'this' is not it. Sorry.

That's what I say. Plus, you've been with her for a month; it's not like you're married to her.

 

[SweetErika]

LOL Some of your answers are really funny. Thanks for making me laugh

Anyway... Things have changed a little bit now, since, erm, yesterday I kissed another girl (that we shall call girl n°2) that I've been interested in for some time. At least I really have the motivation to break up with the first one now. I'll see n°1 tomorrow afternoon... I'm not quite sure whether I should tell her that there's n°2. Maybe later. If she ever speaks to me again. (Hope she will at least give me back the shirt she's borrowed. I know, that's low to think like that. )

No, I wouldn't tell her there's another girl...that's not the real reason you're breaking up with her. Leave it at the things you don't have in common, and don't worry about the shirt.

 

[MintSoda]

Maxim had a really good article on how to dump your girlfriend a little while ago. I kinda skimmed it because I haven't really needed to dump anyone in years, but some of the stuff was super easy to remember and brilliant.

Have the breakup talk at her place so you can leave when it's over.

Do not give her false hope about getting back together.

Be honest about why and say as little as possible.

Use the broken record technique...when she asks things over and over just use the one answer "We aren't working out." or whatever.

That's all I can remember from it. Hope that helps.

 

[Dogswild]

I was wondering the same thing myself a few years back.So,I started seeing another girl on the side.That pretty much severed all ties.

 

[Eilan]

When I first kissed her, I had been feeling bad about being single, and I felt she was pretty and funny.

Things have changed a little bit now, since, erm, yesterday I kissed another girl (that we shall call girl n°2) that I've been interested in for some time.

Perhaps if you'd get to know these women a little better BEFORE you kissed them you wouldn't have this problem.

 

[Râleclins]

I couldn't find the old thread about that, Mintsoda, but I'll look again.

Perhaps if you'd get to know these women a little better BEFORE you kissed them you wouldn't have this problem.

Exactly ! I know I was too quick with n°1. (sorry to use numbers ; I don't mean to be rude and I don't treat them as numbers, but it's more practical here)
But it's not likely to happen with this new girl. We've talked much more.

 

[phoenix1224]

Exactly ! I know I was too quick with n°1. (sorry to use numbers ; I don't mean to be rude and I don't treat them as numbers, but it's more practical here)
But it's not likely to happen with this new girl. We've talked much more.

Not to sound judgemental, but...

You ARE starting off your relationship with the new one by making her the "other woman"... If she found out, do you really think that she would appreciate that?

Break off the old relationship BEFORE this new one goes any further.

 

[whatdoesthi]

Get her and the new girl together, then say "Will everyone who is going out with me please put their hand up?". Then, when both raise their hands, you can say "No, put your hand down" to the girl in question. Problem solved.



(Don't do this)

 

[emap]

Just tell her the truth, you don't have to tell her everything, but just tell her the important parts between the two of you.

If words fail you tell her 'I'm sorry, I thought we had something together but it's just not working out. I've lost the spark between us. I do care about you and would like to remain friends, but I just can't see us being together in that way anymore.'

For the love of France man DON'T EVER mention the fuck buddy thing, it will get you two things, a strong right hook, or a girl who is hanging on you because you still want to sleep with her, which usually means 'I love you but I can't commit right now.' Women actually do think, not like you men.

 

[Nolan]

When she asks you how you want your eggs! say you want one over easy and one boiled.
she will dump you and you wont have to worry about it!