How do you deal with...

[nikkijames]

being depressed?

I mean really depressed. To the point that you feel like you have nothing to live for.

Are there any others out in Lit land that have felt this way?

I have a child and therefore won't try anything again.

What have you done if you hit that low?

Please don't say meds.. been there.. doing that.

 

[tolyk]

I know this isn't much but there is a thread on this already.. Lots of good advice/conversations there.

Depression thread

As to how I deal with it? On my bad days I close myself away from other people so that they don't annoy me. Not a good method, but hey.. it works for me.

 

[rikaaim]

being depressed?

I mean really depressed. To the point that you feel like you have nothing to live for.

Are there any others out in Lit land that have felt this way?

I have a child and therefore won't try anything again.

What have you done if you hit that low?

Please don't say meds.. been there.. doing that.

I prayed and yelled at God. I told Him that if He didn't save me, like the Bible said He would, I was going to kill myself and blame Him.

I slept for over 14 hours a day.

I drove myself crazy and nearly lost all I ever had.

I almost plowed my car into oncoming traffic.

I relied on self-hypnosis and meditation. That only made things worse.

I tried to live in my own little shell. I wanted to loose myself and leave this shit hole world to be in my perfect world with no more hurt.

 

[rgraham666]

I talked to people who cared, who weren't going to judge me. That's often enough.

I took a long, long look at who I was. Looked at the things that made up me. Tossed over the side those things that weren't helping.

I stopped judging myself. I used to hold myself to a standard that no one could meet.

I started writing which gives me an outlet.

Although you don't want it mentioned, meds helped. If your's aren't, talk to your doctor about different ones.

 

[minsue]

The thread Tol posted is helpful. I read that and cry. I don't know why, but knowing I'm not alone makes me sob like a baby every time.

I go to work every day. I go home. It's a damn struggle some days, especially this time of year, but I've learned that if I let myself call in even once and stay in bed I won't be getting back out.

I just ride it out. Like you, I avoid meds, though I am hypocritical enough to urge others to see a doctor and I do hope you will consider it.

 

[nikkijames]

Actually I am on meds. Just seems that tonight they aren't working worth a shit. I read the thread that Tolyk gave and I started crying more then I already was. If I had known that thread was there I wouldn't have started one here. It helps so much to actually see others talking about how they feel and KNOW where they are coming from. I find I can relate a great deal with Perdita, only age seperates what I see in her writings there. When you are in the middle of these feelings it does seem like you are totally alone and people around me know that I have troubles with depression. However nobody has experienced it and it's hard to communicate to people about how you feel.. they sometimes think it just in your mind.. and it's so much more then that. As you guys know that.

Thank you for accepting me here in the AH and making me feel like I am welcome somewhere among others that can relate.

 

[tolyk]

Hmm.. now I'm tongue/finger tied..

Basically I want to say that I'm glad the thread helped a little.. and sometimes having a good cry is all one needs.

or one of these *GREAT BIG HUG*

 

[minsue]

Of course you are welcome, Nikki!

You are very much among friends, many of whom can relate all too well.

 

[~photoguy~]

definitely among friends ... some of whom have gone through just what you are going through sweetie ... having caring friends that you can open up to... that won't judge you... has been a huge help to others ... I can only hope that we can do the same for you ... feel free to lean hard on us ... we have strong shoulders and warm caring hearts

 

[rgraham666]

You're welcome nikki. I'll always try to help others in that dark place I've visited too often.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

As silly as it sounds, I've
a) tried finding someone to vent with and then . . .
b) slept on it

I've had a lot of times where I get something worked up in my head until its built so much momentum that is seems bigger than it is. Venting derails the train before it gets too far, and sleeping helps my mind resolve the emotional aspect of the problem. You've got lots of people here who are more than happy to listen.
*HUGS* again.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I hate it.

I loathe it.

It's the only thing that works much.

Exercise.

The depression is almost preferable.

(Seriously, though. An hour or so of hard physical exercise does wonders.)

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

Nikki, I only just opened this thread. I'm glad the other one helped, and anything I might have said. It's such hell at times, but the main thing is to know what's going on and to not think you're a 'damaged' human being. You're only ill, and there's lots of help out there. I hope you meet someone in RL who understands, it makes all the difference. When I "came out" about my depression it meant the world to have friends who knew and accepted it. They're the ones I call on.

Call on me, or the others here, anytime.

take good care, Perdita

 

[Belegon]

I have to agree with Shanglan that I have found great solace in physical exhaustion.

I have never had any depression that I thought qualified as dangerous, although I had a four year relationship break up in the early 90's that sent me far enough out there that I think some of my friends would disagree.

That time, I crawled into a bottle. Now I would work, both at my job and away from it.

Nikki, I would love to be of assistance for either venting or commiserating if you ever feel the need....

 

[mismused]

Actually I am on meds. Just seems that tonight they aren't working worth a shit. I read the thread that Tolyk gave and I started crying more then I already was. If I had known that thread was there I wouldn't have started one here. It helps so much to actually see others talking about how they feel and KNOW where they are coming from. I find I can relate a great deal with Perdita, only age seperates what I see in her writings there. When you are in the middle of these feelings it does seem like you are totally alone and people around me know that I have troubles with depression. However nobody has experienced it and it's hard to communicate to people about how you feel.. they sometimes think it just in your mind.. and it's so much more then that. As you guys know that.

Thank you for accepting me here in the AH and making me feel like I am welcome somewhere among others that can relate.

=====================

I hit a time like that before, and it lasted a bit too long for comfort. I had read a book, don't remember where, or what, but it said meditation and "going into" the depression helped.

Since I can meditate, or get totally focused, or concentrated when needed, I did that, and went into the feeling I had. Hey, it couldn't get any worse, and it was there already, and taking me over, so why worry about going into it?

I did, and a funny thing happened: I felt it as if dissolving. The reasons for the depression didn't go away, but each time I meditated, and that kept it all at bay for me until I got over it completely.

If you've never tried it, it may be daunting, making yourself be quiet, but in this case, you may find that the depression itself has the seeds of the quiet that will afford you the ability to do as you need.

Good luck. It's tough, and I empathize with you.

mismused

 

[TheEarl]

Nikki: Wish I could help. The only help I've found is something you already have - a person to keep you anchored here. Without mine...

Let's not complete that sentence.

The Earl

 

[SensualCealy]

I hit a bad state right after my daughter was born. I dont know if it was post pardum or just 'could kill hubby if he took off to play another sport while I was here with both kids under 3' attacks.

I did decide it was time to get help before I did something Id regret.
But in one way I regret going for help, but you may find it easier and find a better councillor to talk to then I did.
Almost instantly he blamed my weight, all I could think of was, what the fuck does that have to do with the fact I cry all the time!! I turned to him and said," I have been fat all my life, it doesnt bother me to the point of crying about it, what other excuses can you come up with?"
He took offence to that, then asked me some more questions, then said, "you need to quit nursing , I want you to go on prozac!"

I was there less then a half hour and he wanted me to go on a drug that can cause more problems in some people then actually help them.

All this said, I walked out of there Pissed beyond belief. It gave me the strength to fight, and work through the issues I had at hand.
I know this wont work with larger issues, and I wont pretend to think it will. But if you have a good friend to talk to that has a good solid grounding, maybe they would let you talk to them just so you can get things off your chest. Let them know you dont want them to 'fix' it, just to be there to voice your problems. If they are any kind of friend they will listen, and help guide you, rather then judge you.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Alot of very wise and loving people here helped my get through some really bad stuff a few months back.
I hope to never hit that low again and I strive not to daily, but sometimes it's a bitch.
Talking to someone is good and knowing you arent' alone helps. Glad Tol posted the thread for you, it helped me too.

Good luck battleing those demons, you have a strength inside you to fight them, even though it seems hopeless sometimes, you'd be amazed how easy it is to confront them and take away their powers.

Abs.

 

[cloudy]

Alot of very wise and loving people here helped my get through some really bad stuff a few months back.
I hope to never hit that low again and I strive not to daily, but sometimes it's a bitch.
Talking to someone is good and knowing you arent' alone helps. Glad Tol posted the thread for you, it helped me too.

Good luck battleing those demons, you have a strength inside you to fight them, even though it seems hopeless sometimes, you'd be amazed how easy it is to confront them and take away their powers.

Abs.

Especially when you realize how much power you actually have. When you're depressed, you feel powerless. It helped me tremendously to realize I wasn't.

 

[Guest]

Nikki,

I wish I could tell you how to solve it, but I think you can see from others here, you are not alone. We all feel depressed at times. I'm coming off a really bad year, and hope it is ending, but you never know.

Thank god for our little anchors that keep us plugging along.

Feel free to vent here, or in PM to me if ever there is anything I can do to help. Our little commuity can be supportive, and helpful.

Ted

 

[sweetnpetite]

If I had known that thread was there I wouldn't have started one here...

Thank you for accepting me here in the AH and making me feel like I am welcome somewhere among others that can relate.

Of course it's fine that you started this one

Something told me to bump the depression thread the other day, and I didn't- so blame me

One thing that's especially important (and sometimes helpful) when you're going through a depressive period is to take good care of your health. Excercise (as was mentioned) try to get enough sleep, get fresh air and sunshine (I know, I know but *drag* yourself out for at least 15 minutes) and *good healthy food* (while avioding additives and fefines white flour and so forth) Particularly, I believe, fresh friut and protien. Take a daily vitamine if you can, try to get dressed and fix your face up (looking horrible and feeling horrible can create a cycle), write in a journal or talk to someone in person or online who understands (it's been shown that *thinking* about feeling depressed makes you feel worse, but writing or talking about it can really help)

A last thing is try to get out of your head by doing something physical that requires consentration. Or even doing simple chores that don't require a lot of consentration, but do require you to move around and stuff (washing dishes, making an omellete)

I hope that helps some. Hang in there. this too shall pass.

 

[sweetnpetite]

oh yeah, that's a lot of advice.

Just take it one at a time, and try not to get overwealmed. (the advice and life in general) One foot in front of the other, and don't worry about anything beyond that.

<<<hugs>>>

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* wll you've already had a ton of good advice I think you've got a greattool right here, the internet. There are many places to go and chat (this one being a good one) and so when you need someone to talk to to vent to or whatever you can find someone online. It's good to have that distance too of not knowing that person in reality you know?

Anyhow, there are many people here for you! Including me...so give me a shout if you ever need to

 

[nikkijames]

Just wanted to thank you all again for your responses. Today is a bit better. I got up and went in to work but after an hour and a half I couldn't be there anymore and so I left to come home, slept for a bit and feel okay now. I don't mean okay and in good.. I mean okay as in okay. You get my drift. I talked to a friend last night from Lit and they helped me think a bit straighter.

I am thankful for my little anchor. She has been a blessing in disguise on more then one ocassion.

 

[Guest]

*HUGS* Nikki.

As many have said, and I know you've read the other thread so you do know, but you are not alone.

Many, many of us have been through it. All to varying degrees, but many know that hopeless feeling.

Don't give up hope. Take each day one at a time, and try to find just one small thing (at least) in each day, to make you smile.

Happiness might seem a long way off, and mere contentment, too, but I posted this in another thread, and it might help just a little...

Happiness is relative. Some days just one little word can make my heart swell. Other days, just a smile from a loved one. Right now? It's knowing that I got through it, and am smiling again. Smiling wider than before.

We have to go through the bad stuff to appreciate the good, and the more bad we go through, the more we learn to appreciate the good. If I'd never known true sadness, I could never understand true happiness.

Take care, love,

Lou