How do you comment on this?

[Aurora Black]

That quote sickens me.

(The original.)

 

[Oblimo]

"It's elementary, Watson. From the ticket stub in her coat pocket and the canal water stain on her boots, I can tell she's recently returned from Venice by way of the Orient Express. See that slight callus on her chin? That means she plays the violin a great deal -- I bare one too, you see? Last Sunday's Times had a rather scathing review of the Newcastle String Quartet, containing mention that the final leg of the Quartet's tour was to be Venice. And there is only one member of the Quartet of the female persuasion, Lucinda Montrose, which is how I could greet her by name even though we had never met or even seen each other before.

"Oh, you meant how I could tell she was a wanton hussy? Why, because she has tits, of course."

Bleah.

 

[elsol]

Hello... we write porn.

Some of us think/know/believe we do better/more/arechangingthehumanrace... but at the end of the day we write porn.

That is a great PORN line.

In fact, it is a brilliant PORN line.

If I was a watching a porn movie and I heard that line coming out of Herschel Savage's mouth... I'd whip my cock and get ready for two people to THROW IT DOWN AND LEAVE CUM & PUSSY JUICE stains all over the room.

How do you comment on it?

Did this writer follow through? Did you make your nipples (guys) hard or girls (your clits) distended?

If he didn't, then you write him/her back and you say

"Great PORN line... too bad you can't write sex to save your life."

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Stella_Omega]

make you scared to open a new story, don't it? The numbers of Yahoo groups I've left rather than comment of bad writing... I just don't have it in me to be diplomatic when my stomach is churning

 

[AngeloMichael]

This quote is from a story, not on Literotica, and is a statement about a woman he is following around in a supermarket. He doesn't know her, has never spoken to her, and all he says he has noticed so far is her tits. Then he writes:

"I can recognize the signs of a willing woman, and you show them all."

How do you comment on an author who writes/thinks like this?

I'm lost for words.

Og

This would actually be a good insight into the mind of some men (we're not all like this, not even most of us, I swear!). Some are deranged enough to think this way though and if the author was trying to get into the head of one of these guys as a antagonist that could lead to an interesting story. However, I take it from your post that this is not the case and the author is actually the one who thinks this way. That is just unfortunate and more than a little disturbing.

 

[JustaJerk]

I myself have never been very lucky with the ladies. But I've known guys that can walk into a bar and leave with a different lady every time.

My first thought on reading the original quote was: So that's how they do it!

But then, reading the second quote I realize that the author didn't write something very much true to life. But I still agree with elsol. It works for porn.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I myself have never been very lucky with the ladies. But I've known guys that can walk into a bar and leave with a different lady every time.

My first thought on reading the original quote was: So that's how they do it!

But then, reading the second quote I realize that the author didn't write something very much true to life. But I still agree with elsol. It works for porn.

I'm not sure it necessarly works for porn either. In a story, every thing a character does needs to be consistant and BELIEVABLE. Well.. I can believe the guy in the snippit would think that, but he wouldn't get very far with most women.

Try it. Walk into a neighborhood bar and announce, "Anybody wanna fuck?"... 99 times out of 100 you'll have a date with Harriet Palm.

You can write anything you want, but who's going to read it?

 

[Noor]

The story is NOT here.

It is posted in a Yahoo group by someone who is not the author.

Here is an earlier passage:

"Our eyes meet, but yours are there first…a split second before mine, because my attention is diverted to your busty, natural breasts. In that moment you perceive that I am looking...not just looking...but admiring, and it makes you happy. A delicate smile graces your lips. The thought that your breasts are being gazed at and appreciated causes your nipples to become slightly, but perceivably more erect. When my eyes raise up to connect with your glance, there is a moment frozen in time where the communication is understood by both. The unspoken words "I find you extremely attractive and desirable" pass between us in that moment."

The writing is in acceptable English with a couple of typos that anyone could make. The content? That worries me.

Og

Unfortunately there are many people who "signs" that are not really there.
Her nipples probably got hard as she passed the frozen foods.
She might have been smiling while thinking of the fresh produce she was buying her guinea pig and how happy the piggy would be.
The brief frozen moment was probably when she thought "why is this guy following me around the store?" and she wanted to get a good lookjust in case.

Incidentally the above is how stalkers think.

 

[Noor]

"It's elementary, Watson. From the ticket stub in her coat pocket and the canal water stain on her boots, I can tell she's recently returned from Venice by way of the Orient Express. See that slight callus on her chin? That means she plays the violin a great deal -- I bare one too, you see? Last Sunday's Times had a rather scathing review of the Newcastle String Quartet, containing mention that the final leg of the Quartet's tour was to be Venice. And there is only one member of the Quartet of the female persuasion, Lucinda Montrose, which is how I could greet her by name even though we had never met or even seen each other before.

"Oh, you meant how I could tell she was a wanton hussy? Why, because she has tits, of course."

Bleah.

plus she smiled and has eyes that can look at creeps, LOL!

 

[cantdog]

I would have backclicked anyway. I hate second person like that. Effrontery. I did nothing of the kind, you twad, I say, and I bail.

 

[Noor]

I myself have never been very lucky with the ladies. But I've known guys that can walk into a bar and leave with a different lady every time.

My first thought on reading the original quote was: So that's how they do it!

But then, reading the second quote I realize that the author didn't write something very much true to life. But I still agree with elsol. It works for porn.

Perhaps they have to leave with a different lady everytime because they can't keep them.

That might also be why much of porn seems so dull to me and many of my female friends.

 

[elsol]

I'm not sure it necessarly works for porn either. In a story, every thing a character does needs to be consistant and BELIEVABLE. Well.. I can believe the guy in the snippit would think that, but he wouldn't get very far with most women.

Try it. Walk into a neighborhood bar and announce, "Anybody wanna fuck?"... 99 times out of 100 you'll have a date with Harriet Palm.

You can write anything you want, but who's going to read it?

Porn... belieavable?

Excuse me... I have to go order a pizza.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[JamesSD]

Wow you guys are harsh.

Yeah, it's mediocre. Yeah, it's cliche. Those criticisms are legitimate. But "rapist/stalker"? Please. So every man who has checked out a woman's tits is now a stalker. Great.

 

[cloudy]

Wow you guys are harsh.

Yeah, it's mediocre. Yeah, it's cliche. Those criticisms are legitimate. But "rapist/stalker"? Please. So every man who has checked out a woman's tits is now a stalker. Great.

You don't get it.

It's not that he checked out her tits, it's that he says he "recognizes the signs of a willing woman" just by looking at her tits.

That's not necessarily a stalker/rapist, but certainly a clueless pig.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I'm not sure it necessarly works for porn either. In a story, every thing a character does needs to be consistant and BELIEVABLE. Well.. I can believe the guy in the snippit would think that, but he wouldn't get very far with most women.

Try it. Walk into a neighborhood bar and announce, "Anybody wanna fuck?"... 99 times out of 100 you'll have a date with Harriet Palm.

You can write anything you want, but who's going to read it?

Hmm, you mean that one out of a hundred times I could do that and score?

AWESOME!

 

[JamesSD]

You don't get it.

It's not that he checked out her tits, it's that he says he "recognizes the signs of a willing woman" just by looking at her tits.

That's not necessarily a stalker/rapist, but certainly a clueless pig.

There's a HUGE difference between stalker and clueless pig. I would agree with the latter. Perhaps I'm arguing semantics.

 

[Huckleman2000]

You don't get it.

It's not that he checked out her tits, it's that he says he "recognizes the signs of a willing woman" just by looking at her tits.

That's not necessarily a stalker/rapist, but certainly a clueless pig.

So, what he should have said was, "Smuggling raisins?"

 

[elsol]

So, what he should have said was, "Smuggling raisins?"

No... they were in a supermarket... I believe the good line would have been.

"Is it cold in here or are your tits just happy to see me?'

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[MagicaPractica]

While I agree that this quote does sound like the classic raper/stalker mentally, I have to point out that it is being taken out of the context of the story. It has been excised from something that might explain it.

This character makes a questionable claim. Does he back it up? Is he superman with x-ray vision so that he can see how wet she's getting? Does he have some psychological basis for the observation? Does every woman he approaches using this method take him by the hand and leading him to the back alley to jump his bones?

Considering the affront that was felt enough to make this posted, my guess is that the claim is not backed up.

 

[Noor]

Wow you guys are harsh.

Yeah, it's mediocre. Yeah, it's cliche. Those criticisms are legitimate. But "rapist/stalker"? Please. So every man who has checked out a woman's tits is now a stalker. Great.

It is not the checking out of her breasts, its the assumption that she wants him based on nothing but his projection of what her body is saying to him.

 

[Noor]

Hmm, you mean that one out of a hundred times I could do that and score?

AWESOME!

Where I first went to college, it was not unusual for men at dances to say that, and I am sure some of them got laid. It was expected however that if you said no, they wouldn't bother you.

Asking someone if they want to have sex is completely different than assume a women wants you by how she looks.

 

[cantdog]

You should also plan on being clobbered about the head and shoulders. But if you are, say, a sailor in port for one night, or for some other reason have no time to fool around, a line like, "If we went out tonight, do you think you'd end up sleeping with me?" will eventually produce a result. It's been done.

 

[Ada Stuart]

Wet dream material

"Our eyes meet, but yours are there first…a split second before mine, because my attention is diverted to your busty, natural breasts. In that moment you perceive that I am looking...not just looking...but admiring, and it makes you happy. A delicate smile graces your lips. The thought that your breasts are being gazed at and appreciated causes your nipples to become slightly, but perceivably more erect. When my eyes raise up to connect with your glance, there is a moment frozen in time where the communication is understood by both. The unspoken words "I find you extremely attractive and desirable" pass between us in that moment."

Og

Hm, seems more like some poor innocent guy's wet dream. Definite dream material. Whenever he wakes up he will notice that a woman's dress has nothing to do with her fancy for him.

Besides, do we always write stuff that are trustworthy or true ?
Huh, not me...

 

[Guest]

Hm, seems more like some poor innocent guy's wet dream. Definite dream material. Whenever he wakes up he will notice that a woman's dress has nothing to do with her fancy for him.

Besides, do we always write stuff that are trustworthy or true ?
Huh, not me...

I like the whole "busty...breasts" thing.

 

[cantdog]

Busty breasts, but are they the best breasts?