How do I tell my gf I'm attracted to shemales/have other fetishes??

[longjohn432]

I've never been attracted to guys, but shemales drive me wild. I have a girlfriend who I love very much but has no idea about this fetish. I have a few fetishes I feel I should tell her about if we're going to go further, but I honestly have no idea how to do it!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Fetish

 

[CJontherocks]

I'm not much of one to give advice... I put that conversation off a few years ago, and now I'm sorry I didn't tell her right up front.

So my advice would be simply a) don't keep putting it off until it's too late to be considered honesty (at some point it will become a secret you've kept from her), and b) just tell her.

Do consider how you tell her. She will appreciate that you've been honest and shared something of you that you've not shared with many (or any) others. But if the understanding is that you're seeing each other exclusively, she may not appreciate that you'd like to now find some hot little transsexual to get it on with.

Without knowing more about you and about her, I hesitate to offer more. Is she open to a full spectrum of sexuality? Has she ever experienced MM or FF sex? What exactly do you hope she'll accept? Just the fantasy? Just that information about you that she doesn't know? Or do you want her to go find you one and bring her home? Is this something you hope to add to your relationship with her, or just something you feel like you need to tell her because honesty is the best policy?

For your sake, you do need to understand that she may not accept this part of you, and she may decide to end your relationship. That should not affect your decision whether to be honest with her if this is something important in your life, but it may help in your approach and in accepting/dealing with her reaction (whatever it might be).

Anyway, that wasn't much help. Good luck?

 

[kinkycaveman]

You guys ever watch porn together? If so, "accidently" get a shemale video and feel her out for a reaction.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I admit it-- I have a bad reaction to this one, because it's what I am not.

And even when a woman isn't queer, she just might feel like you're wishing she had a dick, which of course she does not.

If I can get past making it all about me, though, I'd get me a good strapon and shove you to your knees.

 

[longjohn432]

thanks for the advice everyone!

 

[BambiLenoir]

I've never been attracted to guys, but shemales drive me wild. I have a girlfriend who I love very much but has no idea about this fetish. I have a few fetishes I feel I should tell her about if we're going to go further, but I honestly have no idea how to do it!

This is honestly a tough case. You initially want to be honest because you want someone you can be completely and totally sexually honest with, however the fear of the a bad reaction could stave you off.

I actually agree with trying a bit of shemale porn, to gauge her reaction.

 

[gagginforit]

I think it's likely (unless she's totally open, uninhibited and secure in the relationship) she will assume you want to do something about this fantasy, and go out and have sex with a shemale. Or she will be insecure believing you want a woman with a dick and she's not making you happy. You've got to assure her that those things aren't true, that you don't have any intention of having sex with anyone else (I hope you don't) and that you are attracted to her the way she is.

If she's slightly ignorant about sexuality she might just take it that you like dick and therefor must be gay (I've read enough posts from worried females on an agony aunt site to know that), so again you have to assure her that's not the case and that you love and are attracted to her.

Maybe it would help approaching the topic by sharing fetishes or kinks with each other, listen to some of hers then give one of your own and build up to the shemale thing.

You've got to reassure her and let her know that she's the only one you want, but the attraction to shemales is a fantasy. She's probably got some of her own so hopefully she will understand. I guess you'd really hit the jackpot if you find it turns her on and she actually wants to explore this with you but if that's what you're hoping for I think that might be expecting too much. Hopefully she'll simply accept it.

I'd also like to say that I'm not sure you HAVE to tell her. It's nice that you want to be completely open but unless it's an obsession that you feel you simply must act upon, I'd consider it just a private part of your sexuality and fantasy life that you might choose to share or not. It's no one elses business assuming of course you don't intend to do anything about it. I'm sure she's got some things she keeps secret and wouldn't tell anyone and that's fine, we all do. I guess it depends how big a part of your life this is going to be. Obviously if it requires you to hide things from her and lie to her then that's different.

I may be a bit naive on that point but that's the way I see it.

Good luck, I think you're going to need it.

 

[Hexachord]

I ended up just going for it. On one of our trips to the video store, I got a shemale vid along ith our usual fare. No big reaction at first, but a month or so later, the wife picked the shemale vid herself, and was into it a lot more than I expected. I was terribly nervous about telling her, but in the end, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Glad to hear it's worked out positively for you...(and her!)

My wife is fairly indifferent to my TS attraction....but has been at least somewhat aroused by a video or two....one in particular I showed her a while back- Vaniity and Janine Lindemulder ( sp?)...It's a VERY hot vid, Janine is very heavily tattooed; which is a turn on for BOTH of us, & my wife is a bit bi; so....horny times ensued.

 

[jackbird]

38 years ago dating my wife about 3 months in come out told her I was bisexual and messed with guys. At first she was shocked then got interested in hearing what I did with them. That lead to her using toys on me then to strap-on fun. It took about 30 years before we had a 3 some with another guy. U never know just ask her what she thinks about shemales and gay sex.

 

[Ghostee]

I've never been attracted to guys, but shemales drive me wild. I have a girlfriend who I love very much but has no idea about this fetish. I have a few fetishes I feel I should tell her about if we're going to go further, but I honestly have no idea how to do it!

I'm thinking this would be a great tv show idea !

 

[FGB]

I found out just how much my FWB was into kink when she walked into my bedroom.

The leather restraints, chains and cuffs and the flogger mounted on one wall had her putting out disclaimers on what she DIDN'T like in short order! on the other hand it cranked of a hell of a conversation of what she DID like or would do or had done.

That being said our first "Sex Date" was so intense we not only did not try half of the things we enjoyed together but we basically passed out from exhaustion around midnight.