how do i get past my shyness?

[knapp7779]

my hubby and i are very open in our relationship. he is the one who has introduced me to bdsm. we have found out i have a wild side even to the point of swinging. my problem is every event we host, i can't make it through it unless i have a blindfold. i just wondering if anyone has any tips to get past shyness and inhibitions? he wants me to start getting into bdsm events. i truly want want this too because that is my main fantasy. we will achieve it with or without the blindfold but sometimes i just wish i could get past the need to have it.

 

[intothewoods]

I dunno, but I just went to my first party and was realllllllly nervous the entire time. I played a little, but I couldn't completely relax at all. I hadn't originally planned on drinking, but I found I just had to to calm down.

 

[kajira311]

Just let your Sir guide you

Sweetheart, I'm a large lady, and I've played at clubs and parties all around my state. I was just telling someone, I've met more acceptance there than at most churches I've visited.

You want to please your Sir, right? And you know he wouldn't lead you where you would be slighted? So take a deep breath or three and just put your hand in his and trust him. I guarantee you that no matter what you look like there is probably someone there at your gathering who is larger or shorter or plainer or whatever deficiency you think you have. Yes, you are being watched, but it's not so that you can be criticized but so that the others in your group can share your energies. Close your eyes if you need to, but don't hide your beautiful face behind a blindfold. Come out and let your fellow subs and Doms in your group know and love you.

 

[knapp7779]

it isn't appearance approval

i do not have any huge issues with my looks. a lot of my issues is perfection in any thing i attempt. my problem stems from everyday life itself. i am a naturally shy person. now, when i was a teenager and in high school i was overweight but then again my brother has always been a nice looking guy and in good shape but wouldn't even speak to many people because he is more shy than i.

 

[pandoravampire]

my hubby and i are very open in our relationship. he is the one who has introduced me to bdsm. we have found out i have a wild side even to the point of swinging. my problem is every event we host, i can't make it through it unless i have a blindfold. i just wondering if anyone has any tips to get past shyness and inhibitions? he wants me to start getting into bdsm events. i truly want want this too because that is my main fantasy. we will achieve it with or without the blindfold but sometimes i just wish i could get past the need to have it.

I think the idea of you being blindfolded is marvelous! and made me laugh with you.

IF that is working, how about a gradient 'expose', whereby you wear you blindfold, then a hat and dark glasses, then just the dark glasses, then lighter ones.
You may also benefit from reframing your shyness. Your very shiyness, is the part of you that can enjoy the thrill of the naughtyness. Its the shygirl getting her rocks off there. My point being, dont worry about your shyness, its actually benefitting you also.
It is the shyness, that made me quivver in anticipation as i bent for him to look at me, my shyness made it hot! I gained from my shyness. 2 yrs later, and im bending over, thinking not a jot about it. Its become normalised for me, no longer seems naughty, and im no longer embarrassed by it. So, did i lose by losing my shyness? Shyness can be a added benefit. Use it to your advantage.
Play with it. Who ever gave you the idea of the mask, would be a good person to talk to about this, especially if that was you.

pandoravampire

 

[neonflux]

i do not have any huge issues with my looks. a lot of my issues is perfection in any thing i attempt. my problem stems from everyday life itself. i am a naturally shy person. now, when i was a teenager and in high school i was overweight but then again my brother has always been a nice looking guy and in good shape but wouldn't even speak to many people because he is more shy than i.

I am also naturally shy, but have gradually gotten over it as I've gotten older. That said, it was something that I had to work on - it didn't just "come with age." I liked what Pandora said - just enjoy what you are sharing with your hubby and let it unfold. Sounds like fun, actually. Neon

 

[myinnerslut]

in my experience, many people playing with BDSM find blindfold fun, exciting, andor attractive, so it in and of itself isnt the issue. the issue is that you would like to be able to do what you are doing without the blindfold. the idea presented was to decrease in increments the type of covering. i would also suggest wearing a mask. you can pick out something cute or sexy, that covers your whole face or just your eyes. this way you would still be "hidden" but would also be able to see what was going on.

 

[ElusiveDream07]

Well

my hubby and i are very open in our relationship. he is the one who has introduced me to bdsm. we have found out i have a wild side even to the point of swinging. my problem is every event we host, i can't make it through it unless i have a blindfold. i just wondering if anyone has any tips to get past shyness and inhibitions? he wants me to start getting into bdsm events. i truly want want this too because that is my main fantasy. we will achieve it with or without the blindfold but sometimes i just wish i could get past the need to have it.

Nothing wrong with ...Starting with the blindfold.... Perhaps during the build up and with a few well placed ropes.... Your husband or other participant can take you to that special place where you are less fearful more at ease, the comfort and inter-peace sets in. At the right time, He bends down and whispers something in your ear....and removes the blindfold.....

Perhaps this will lessen your fear, you might have to put it back on the first few times. But keep at it...smiles

 

[liberatedslave]

Do you play with the same group of people or with different people each time? It might help you to get to know better a few people you have connected with at these events and then invite a smaller group of familiar faces for a more intimate evening. Once you have started to relax with them, hopefully you'll find new people less daunting.

I agree that you should be guided by your Sir. Viewing all this as part of your service to him should help you to do your very best to lose an inhibition or two.

If shyness is a big problem in your daily life and a deep seated issue within your family (as you said your brother has some of the same problems) then you might want to try working on that separate from BDSM. Google for stuff in your area - there are no shortage of courses and workshops to build confidence and overcome shyness.

If you feel your shyness runs deep and that there are other issues involved, you may benefit from some counselling to figure out how and why you developed shyness as a coping mechanism and how to re-educate yourself in order to break away from patterns of shy behaviour.

Best of luck with this

 

[Masterrobyitaly]

even just talking about it is a little step

good luck