How do I get my wife to let me "share" her?

[MrSneakyinPA]

How do I get my wife to let me "share" her?


My wife said she doesn't want to have sex with another man. But, she did say she WOULD go dancing with one, since I don't dance. And that she would even slow dance close with another man. But that's as far as she would go. But I'm hoping if I can get her to go that far, she would be feeling all romantic, he'd sneak a kiss, that would turn into making out and hopefully she'd know that if she started feeling horny, she would have my permission to go home with him and make passionate love to him all night.

While all this sounds wonderful, I'm not sure how to get her in his bed. Any suggestions?

 

[dreamykitten2]

Have u told her how much this thought turns u on?

How do I get my wife to let me "share" her?


My wife said she doesn't want to have sex with another man. But, she did say she WOULD go dancing with one, since I don't dance. And that she would even slow dance close with another man. But that's as far as she would go. But I'm hoping if I can get her to go that far, she would be feeling all romantic, he'd sneak a kiss, that would turn into making out and hopefully she'd know that if she started feeling horny, she would have my permission to go home with him and make passionate love to him all night.

While all this sounds wonderful, I'm not sure how to get her in his bed. Any suggestions?

Being honest and talking about it should be the first step

 

[lurkingguy1978]

Being honest and talking about it should be the first step

Concur...if you can't talk to her about it, she's never going to know what you want...

 

[MrSneakyinPA]

We have sorta talked about it. Enough that she knows that I want her to do it and that she doesn't seem interested. When she tells me about being in her ex's water bed and what they did, and it's a turn on for us both. I told her she should do it again, so she can tell me new things about having sex with him. When we've talked about her going dancing with a guy, which she is willing to do. I let her know that It would be ok if they kissed and anything else she wants to do. She knows she can, if she wants to. And I know she would enjoy herself if she let herself.

I think its the getting her to the point that she wants to do it I'm trying to encourage. Not push. But certainly let her know her redhaired pussy is too good to keep all to myself.

 

[drinkz]

Query Wins. When you win the internetz, all it says is that you're a sad, pathetic, man in real life.

 

[cosmic_peach]

But certainly let her know her redhaired pussy is too good to keep all to myself.

Hot! Good luck!

 

[IntmtStrngr]

hey...

to the original question:
the way that you get her to allow herself to be shared with someone else besides you or in addition to you, is for her to come to that conclusion herself and then bring the matter to you.
(For your approval of course.)
How does she come to that conclusion on her own?
I can't speak to or for anyone but myself, I use subliminal suggestion while she sleeps.
It works for me.

 

[dreamykitten2]

to the original question:
the way that you get her to allow herself to be shared with someone else besides you or in addition to you, is for her to come to that conclusion herself and then bring the matter to you.
(For your approval of course.)
How does she come to that conclusion on her own?
I can't speak to or for anyone but myself, I use subliminal suggestion while she sleeps.
It works for me.

That's really interesting!! Tell us more about that!!!

 

[CBM514]

How do I get my wife to let me "share" her?


My wife said she doesn't want to have sex with another man. But, she did say she WOULD go dancing with one, since I don't dance. And that she would even slow dance close with another man. But that's as far as she would go. But I'm hoping if I can get her to go that far, she would be feeling all romantic, he'd sneak a kiss, that would turn into making out and hopefully she'd know that if she started feeling horny, she would have my permission to go home with him and make passionate love to him all night.

While all this sounds wonderful, I'm not sure how to get her in his bed. Any suggestions?

If you have to "get" her or convince her to do something she doesn't also want it likely won't work out for anyone...

 

[October46]

How do I get my wife to let me "share" her?


My wife said she doesn't want to have sex with another man. But, she did say she WOULD go dancing with one, since I don't dance. And that she would even slow dance close with another man. But that's as far as she would go. But I'm hoping if I can get her to go that far, she would be feeling all romantic, he'd sneak a kiss, that would turn into making out and hopefully she'd know that if she started feeling horny, she would have my permission to go home with him and make passionate love to him all night.

While all this sounds wonderful, I'm not sure how to get her in his bed. Any suggestions?

Take you time, it is a long process. You must get her to realize that men enjoy looking at her; so mention this when you see a guy look at her. Talk her up to your friend's also, mention to them that she was talking about them; this will have them showing more interest, just make sure you say it in confidence. Mention to her about your fantasies and even roll play with her, this will also stimulate her should the chance arise.

 

[twister947]

There's your answer. It's not the one you want, but that's the answer she gave you. You don't get her to do anything she doesn't want to. Trickery, manipulation, and deception don't work. Don't think about trying it.

Well stated.

You've opened the door, now get out of the way, and let the decision be hers. Then respect that.

 

[dpmywife]

Like everyone said she will let you know. Watch porn together on the subject. If she likes to dance take her dancing. Atleast try to dance with her. But anyway go with her watch her dance with someone then when she gets back tell her it was hot. But always do things together. So she knows you love her get her to go dancing on her own so she can find a hot guy that she likes dancing can lead to other things. But always reassure her you love her no matter what. Talk about her fantasies.

 

[omgitselaine]

Like everyone said she will let you know. Watch porn together on the subject. If she likes to dance take her dancing. Atleast try to dance with her. But anyway go with her watch her dance with someone then when she gets back tell her it was hot. But always do things together. So she knows you love her get her to go dancing on her own so she can find a hot guy that she likes dancing can lead to other things. But always reassure her you love her no matter what. Talk about her fantasies.

Great advise !! If I may also add ........ when you accompany her somewhere she will be able to dance let her know you're there to protect her because you do love her. This will go a loooong way and also ease up on pushing her toward this fantasy.

It will take time and patience ....... you showing her how much you care and love her will also make her feel at ease. Good luck !

 

[Felix_Jones]

You could always just divorce her. I'm sure she'd find someone to have sex with her other than you.

 

[MrSneakyinPA]

Thanks for the replies. Obviously, I'm NOT going to divorce her. That remark was out of line.

But, as a husband, I think many of us WANT this to happen. It's like many things in life, you don't know how much you'll like something till you do it. Or at least consider really doing it. I am trying to ease her toward the point of serious consideration, the point where she will really think about how fun it would be. But never making her feel as though I'm unhappy if she doesn't. We walk a fine line when we encourage our lovers to try new things. It could certainly end poorly, or end fantastically. The amazing adventurous things in life I'm sure take effort and risk.

I was hoping to hear from someone who was able to cross this threshold with their wife.

 

[Matryoshka]

I don't know if this will help...my husband constantly talks about me being with another man. He suggests different scenarios, different men, all the time saying I have permission if the situation ever really arose.
I have different reactions to this....first, I don't trust that he will truly be ok with it. Maybe at first while one head is leading, but once he isn't in the moment and has time to think, he will get mad, jealous and distrustful.
My second reaction is a sense of unease. Why does he really want it? What is really in it for him? Is there something lacking in our sex life even though he always says how hot it is? Is there really someone else he wants to have sex with? So, I tell him if he goes first I would then feel free to um, dabble. But he never will, and we both know it.
Communicate with her. Tell her why you like the idea. Ask her how she feels about it and why. You both need to be honest or it will be many bedroom fantasies only.

 

[magicalmoments]

I don't know if this will help...my husband constantly talks about me being with another man. He suggests different scenarios, different men, all the time saying I have permission if the situation ever really arose.
I have different reactions to this....first, I don't trust that he will truly be ok with it. Maybe at first while one head is leading, but once he isn't in the moment and has time to think, he will get mad, jealous and distrustful.
My second reaction is a sense of unease. Why does he really want it? What is really in it for him? Is there something lacking in our sex life even though he always says how hot it is? Is there really someone else he wants to have sex with? So, I tell him if he goes first I would then feel free to um, dabble. But he never will, and we both know it.
Communicate with her. Tell her why you like the idea. Ask her how she feels about it and why. You both need to be honest or it will be many bedroom fantasies only.

I think Matryoshka has summed up the average housewifes' reservations about being "shared" very well. They certainly reflect my wifes original attitude to the idea and those of the few other women I've had discussions with on this topic.

My advice is the same as Matryoshka as well, communicate your desires and fantasies, encourage your wife to do the same, discuss her reservations, don't just discount them.

My wife eventually agreed to experiment and we started out with a MFM 3'sum where the 2 guys totally focussed their attention on her pleasure. I was a full participant, I did not just sit back and watch. She found it the most stimulating sexual experience she had ever had and became a sworn devotee to the practice from that point on. As with the other women I have discussed this topic with, she wondered why she had not started so much earlier.

For us none of the reservations expressed by Matryoshka have ever eventuated.

What might be interesting is hearing from couples who have tried this and it has not worked out so well and why?

 

[Matryoshka]

I think Matryoshka has summed up the average housewifes' reservations about being "shared" very well. They certainly reflect my wifes original attitude to the idea and those of the few other women I've had discussions with on this topic.

My advice is the same as Matryoshka as well, communicate your desires and fantasies, encourage your wife to do the same, discuss her reservations, don't just discount them.

My wife eventually agreed to experiment and we started out with a MFM 3'sum where the 2 guys totally focussed their attention on her pleasure. I was a full participant, I did not just sit back and watch. She found it the most stimulating sexual experience she had ever had and became a sworn devotee to the practice from that point on. As with the other women I have discussed this topic with, she wondered why she had not started so much earlier.

For us none of the reservations expressed by Matryoshka have ever eventuated.

What might be interesting is hearing from couples who have tried this and it has not worked out so well and why?

Ok, so..ouch! to the average housewife part. LOL. But, these suggestions seem to offer a sense of safety with them. When exploring for the first time, doing it together assures her the whole situation is really ok - neither can be accused of anything, and if she is scared/nervous then you are right there to protect her if needed. Once those barriers are broken together and there are no repercussions, she might be open to being alone with another man.

 

[MrSneakyinPA]

I suppose the question is a good one. Why would a man want to share his wife sexually? I would suggest this as an opportunity for women here to open the conversation with their men, and ask them why another man might want to share his wife. Perhaps that dialog might lead you to consider it, at least in fantasy.

 

[Matryoshka]

It sounds like deep down you wish to see her truly aroused where nothing else matters and she drops all her inhibitions. Would you want to watch or just be told about it? Does she have a hard time "telling" what exactly she has experienced?

 

[norfolklad]

I don't know if this will help...my husband constantly talks about me being with another man. He suggests different scenarios, different men, all the time saying I have permission if the situation ever really arose.
I have different reactions to this....first, I don't trust that he will truly be ok with it. Maybe at first while one head is leading, but once he isn't in the moment and has time to think, he will get mad, jealous and distrustful.
My second reaction is a sense of unease. Why does he really want it? What is really in it for him? Is there something lacking in our sex life even though he always says how hot it is? Is there really someone else he wants to have sex with? So, I tell him if he goes first I would then feel free to um, dabble. But he never will, and we both know it.
Communicate with her. Tell her why you like the idea. Ask her how she feels about it and why. You both need to be honest or it will be many bedroom fantasies only.

I can understand your fears - they are only natural. The whole thing seems so counter-intuitive that the question 'why?' just screams to be asked.

I have never been in this situation - I have never really wanted to share a partner - but I think I can understand one motive for wanting to do so.

I love watching my partner in the throes of sexual pleasure but I don't find that at all easy to do when I'm in action. I love just caressing her, watching her, hearing her and feeling her cum in my arms without distraction but there's always the feeling, backed up by things that some have said, that that's not 'complete' for her. Now if someone else was doing all the work and I could just enjoy the sights, sounds and sensations...

Plus there's the feeling of wanting to show off a really sexy partner. It must be like going out with someone who's dressed up and looking spectacular. You know that half the audience are enjoying looking at her and thinking "you lucky bastard" while the other half are getting jealous. Only a lot more - your partner is so gorgeous that someone else wants to fuck her. There might be something of a feeling of 'ownership' too - she's mine and I'm allowing someone else to fuck her.

Does any of this make sense?

 

[Matryoshka]

I can understand your fears - they are only natural. The whole thing seems so counter-intuitive that the question 'why?' just screams to be asked.

I have never been in this situation - I have never really wanted to share a partner - but I think I can understand one motive for wanting to do so.

I love watching my partner in the throes of sexual pleasure but I don't find that at all easy to do when I'm in action. I love just caressing her, watching her, hearing her and feeling her cum in my arms without distraction but there's always the feeling, backed up by things that some have said, that that's not 'complete' for her. Now if someone else was doing all the work and I could just enjoy the sights, sounds and sensations...

Plus there's the feeling of wanting to show off a really sexy partner. It must be like going out with someone who's dressed up and looking spectacular. You know that half the audience are enjoying looking at her and thinking "you lucky bastard" while the other half are getting jealous. Only a lot more - your partner is so gorgeous that someone else wants to fuck her. There might be something of a feeling of 'ownership' too - she's mine and I'm allowing someone else to fuck her.

Does any of this make sense?

It makes a great deal of sense and could possibly work with a couple who are extremely secure in their relationship, themselves and their trust.

 

[policywank]

I suppose the question is a good one. Why would a man want to share his wife sexually? I would suggest this as an opportunity for women here to open the conversation with their men, and ask them why another man might want to share his wife. Perhaps that dialog might lead you to consider it, at least in fantasy.

Communicate, lay the ground work and give her freedom to make her own decision. Then leave it alone and for fuck sakes don't do anything to manipulate her - that won't be a happy ending.

 

[silverwhisper]

mrsneakyinPA quoth:
i was hoping to hear from someone who was able to cross this threshold with their wife.

i have, it created problems. there won't be a recurrence. yes, it was pretty hot, but no, the hot is not worth the headaches.

in the real world, what you want can't always happen. and i should point out that this particular subforum on lit is a whole lot more about shallow affirmation than some other subforums on lit.

you were already told this--first by your wife, who said she isn't interested, and then by drinkz, who said:

drinkz quoth:
there's your answer. it's not the one you want, but that's the answer she gave you. you don't get her to do anything she doesn't want to. trickery, manipulation, and deception don't work. don't think about trying it.

yet despite her clear and unambiguous answer, you're gonna make a pain in the ass of yourself about it?

c'mon. think about this for a sec.

if you hated rutabaga but every time you go to a restaurant, it's on the menu, and your wife suggested you try it again, even though you've made yourself pretty damned clear on the subject, wouldn't you get fucking pissed off after a while?

yeah, that.

ed

 

[Noor]

The minute you let someone else into the equation, esp. with a reluctant party, your risk level in the relationship changing dramatically goes up.
If your wife starts feeling romantic about someone else to the point that it will overcome her non interest she may decide she prefers them or another person, not you.