How do I enjoy mastrubating again?

[NaiveOne]

I just can't do it anymore. I used to be a pro-mastrubator, now I have literally lost my touch!

Here's a little background:

I'm 24, and up until 8 months ago I was a virgin, in all senses of the word, when I met Geoff. All the energy that I had put into pleasing myself for the past 13 or so years I then put into pleasing him, and he pleased me quite nicely! (He was one lucky guy to have found me, and I'm not ashamed to admit it). We seriously dated for 6 months and I truly, truly loved him. We were also very sexually compatible. Unfortunately, there was a big divider, one I knew I could not be happy with for the rest of my life... so I broke up with him (2 1/2 months ago).

So after my first love and my amazing sexual awakening... I can't orgasm by myself. I've had a little fun with a former cyber-buddy since then and have had some sexy orgasms. But every time I try to go solo I find no enjoyment. No pleasure. If I do cum, it never satisfies me.


Has anyone ever felt like this?

Does it get better? Or will I be numb forever?

 

[dangermoose007]

throw a little risk into your actions to get the juices flowing....perhaps by 'forgetting' to close the blinds, or wear underwear with that miniskirt...also find a younger man..perhaps a virgin...

 

[NaiveOne]

Uh, thanks for your suggestion (except for finding another guy, not ready for that). It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I will keep them in mind. Thanks again.

 

[sheath]

Has anyone ever felt like this?

Does it get better? Or will I be numb forever?

I have been there. I'm still there sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

I CAN tell you that you won't be numb forever. It will get better. It will take emotional healing, though...if you are anything like me, your level of desire is usually directly related to your level of emotional comfort. And right now, you aren't emotionally comfortable.

Give yourself time...and be kind to you. I wish I had more advice to give. But I do know...it WILL get better.

Promise.

S.

 

[Saint_Sinner]

dunno, never had the problem

 

[Nonchalant]

1.give yourself time to readjust

2.spice things up more... like someone else said, try something new and riskier..

 

[warrior queen]

the trouble with masturbating, is that we want it to feel like it is when we're with a partner.
and that is just not possible.
masturbating is a solo act, and as such, involves more self love than most activities.

if you are not as into yourself as you thought, then masturbation isn't going to do for you as much as someone else who IS into you is going to do.

the trick is to recognise this, and then work from there.

i found that self-love (i HATE the term 'masturbation') has to involve more than just 'getting off', and then i begin to get into it as much as if someone else were there with me.

learn to love yourself, and identify with yourself, and then it becomes immensely pleasurable again.

good luck.

 

[NaiveOne]

It will take emotional healing, though...if you are anything like me, your level of desire is usually directly related to your level of emotional comfort. And right now, you aren't emotionally comfortable.

Yeah, I definately think I'm not emotional comfortable. There are too many crazy things in life... in addition to recently losing my guy.

I never really thoght about those two being related, maybe because I was always constantly randy before! But this is definately the most emotionally unstabling thing that has happened to me.

Something to think about.

Thank you.

 

[sheath]

Thank you.

S.

 

[denis hale]

Hi

Maybe try this:

Get under the covers. Take a couple tokes of mellow weed, and crank some Fugazi or Sonic Youth on the Walkman headphones. Then close your eyes, and go for it!

Music is a definite libidinal booster.

You're young. It shouldn't be a problem. Not for long.

 

[BlueSugar]

heh, and here I was thinking I was alone again... I love Lit, I've truely come to know that I'm not alone __end hijack__

This happens to me often as well, even when I am with an SO, sometimes I'd crave "his way" other then "my way..." and I couldn't get myself off when he was out or away.

It drove me mad... and then I found vibrators. They're handy (pun intended?) and fun and come in assortments of sized shapes and textures. Try something different, use the shower head (if yours detaches) or running water, try your other hand...look around for house hold/food items ... there are various threads about it.

Pamper yourself, set yourself up for a you night... do what you need to do, if that means run a bath and buy yourself sexy panties from victora's secret then do so. You are worth it!
Or if it means making some online/sex store buys and buying/renting some raunchy porno you naughty one

 

[NaiveOne]

the trouble with masturbating, is that we want it to feel like it is when we're with a partner.
and that is just not possible.
masturbating is a solo act, and as such, involves more self love than most activities.

WQ, I think you hit the nail on the head, I have been expecting it to feel the same as when I'm with someone who's into me.

Hmmmm.... I'm going to have to think about that some more.

Thank you VERY much.

 

[NaiveOne]

It drove me mad... and then I found vibrators. They're handy (pun intended?) and fun and come in assortments of sized shapes and textures. Try something different, use the shower head (if yours detaches) or running water, try your other hand...look around for house hold/food items ... there are various threads about it.

Pamper yourself, set yourself up for a you night... do what you need to do, if that means run a bath and buy yourself sexy panties from victora's secret then do so. You are worth it!
Or if it means making some online/sex store buys and buying/renting some raunchy porno you naughty one

Hmmmm!

I'm thinking that maybe a vibraotr would be good. It would be something new and exciting, get my mind off being with another person.

Then I coud always try a porno.

Man!!!!!!!!!

Wouldn't it be nice to have those available right now. Dang, I'm horny.



Oh yeah, thank you very much BlueSugar, it's good to have someone who has felt the same way.