how do I deal with

[Willing and Unsure]

not getting in the middle of two friends dating each other... without massively distancing myself from both?

 

[capricious_chic]

Are they arguing?

 

[Different Guy]

That is indeed a tough question when we're not in the situation ourselves. Personally, I don't have that many *close* friends. I have loads of friends who are going out with each other and I just don't get involved in their relationship but I treat them as a pair whenever with them or the one of them. Maybe it sounds wrong when I say don't get involved. How can I put it?

Hmm, how about when with one of them on their own, I always ask, with good intentions how things are with them? How the other one is, what's he/she up to? It shows you're interested about their 'relationship' while still friends with them.

I know that's really hard to understand so hopefully other people will reply and you can strike this from your memory lol! Sometimes I'm good with words, sometimes I try so hard and it just doesn't come out right!

 

[Gusty Wind]

Hello, Willing and Unsure...
Love to give some of my own experience....
*How deep is the relationship between you and them?
*How deep you want to butt in?
*Would it makes any difference?(..I means good one)
OR most important is
*Do they really need your HELP?
*Do they enjoy the Drama of it?(I know,I do)
Now we getting closer..what I did was....
*FIRST, be the very good LISTENER
*do not let the outside circumstances(them) affect your clear mind
*be compassnate just help the conversason through
good tips is to step aside..away from the EGO/s
JUST BE yourself....
I can say much at this point....
well, love to share more....
(((((HUGSS)))))))

Gusty.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

well, they're fighting some right now (she wants to be more serious, he doesnt) and she keeps trying to shove me into the middle even though I'm fighting tooth and nail not to be. and she's doing it by saying things like "I talked to Rachel and she said this" even though I didnt say anything. I've made it very clear I dont want to get into it at all. I've made it to the point that I dont even want to hear about it.

as for the friendship with each... they're both rather close friends of mine. I'm closer to the girl than I am the guy, but he's still a really good friend (i.e. first one I turn to when I feel the need to cry, no questions asked). what makes the situation even more complicated is that they've fucked each other even though they havent been dating long. *shakes head* this is so screwed up

 

[lilpriss]

Get them both together, and tell them that you understand that they are having problems, but you value both of their friendships and you don't want to lose either... and to please keep you out of it. Relationships are hard between 2 people, 3 is just an accident waiting to happen...

Good luck to you!

 

[BreadMan]

Thats very hard and I do not believe you can find an answer here. The answer lies within your heart. (Ok sounds like some shit off a bruce lee moive, LOL). Sorry.
That is one of the worse places to be in. I hope the best for you.

 

[soileddove]

Get them both together, and tell them that you understand that they are having problems, but you value both of their friendships and you don't want to lose either... and to please keep you out of it. Relationships are hard between 2 people, 3 is just an accident waiting to happen...

Good luck to you!

I agree with lilpriss. Also if you don't feel comfortable taking to them at the same time then talk to them seperately.
Plus when she brings up what the other is doing politely remind her that in this one case you can't take sides or get involved and change the subject. Just let her know that sometimes there are forbidden subjects and that is one, make a joke of it.
I was caught in the middle once and evertime she brought it up I would fall to the ground and pretent to convulse. She would laugh and eventually got the message.
Hope that helps.