How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

[english vicky]

i'm just wondering this.

What methods do some of you have for ensuring the submissive in your life remembers who and what they are and who they are with throughout everyday life?

i mean at work, shopping etc, what do you give them to do or think etc in order to ensure they remember constantly when it's required?

i have a few things regarding this, but would like to know what you good folk think.

Thank you,

vicky

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

I usually wear regular old cotton panties on a daily basis, nothing frilly. So occasionally when I take off the pair I was wearing he wears them for that day. He's not into fem, but since they're just plain cotton they don't seem too femmy for him, but they feel different enough from his underwear to remind him of me.

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Oh and another thing. Sometimes I tie my hair back with a piece of ribbon. Once in a while, when I take the ribbon out of my hair, I have him tie it around his cock, but not tight enough to constrict or anything. But he remembers it every time he goes to the bathroom.

And of course, my favorite is a chastity device.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Bring outch'er dead

The Method

The Reasoning

 

[Kajira Callista]

how do subs forget about their Dominants?

 

[shy slave]

Re: Bring outch'er dead

The Method

The Reasoning

AA I love your way with words

I have to agree with KJ even in a 'net or long distance relationship.
How do you forget?
My problem is forgetting long enough about the last time we were together, or the potential of the next time, in order to get any 9-5 work done at all.

Also pretty cane/crop stripes on my ass mean every time i sit down I think of Him

 

[bytor2112]

Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

AA I love your way with words

I have to agree with KJ even in a 'net or long distance relationship.
How do you forget?
My problem is forgetting long enough about the last time we were together, or the potential of the next time, in order to get any 9-5 work done at all.

Also pretty cane/crop stripes on my ass mean every time i sit down I think of Him

yeah i guess a lingering kiss wouldn't really be as good a remembrance as some old fashioned cane stripes...

sad bastard

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

sad bastard

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/TrollAlert.jpg

 

[shy slave]

Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

yeah i guess a lingering kiss wouldn't really be as good a remembrance as some old fashioned cane stripes...

sad bastard

Hey Thats the first sensible thing you've said since you got here

*gives slow hand clap*

Have you ever had that sort of clap before bytor? *bats eyes innocently* I am sure you've had every other sort

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

*gives slow hand clap*

Is that like the polite golf clap, or the "Present ... Lean back ... Spread your knees wider ... Here comes the metronome" clap?

 

[shy slave]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

Is that like the polite golf clap, or the "Present ... Lean back ... Spread your knees wider ... Here comes the metronome" clap?

Gulp You use a metronome AA?

I thought the speculumm was bad enough.

*stops clapping immediately*

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

i'm just wondering this.

What methods do some of you have for ensuring the submissive in your life remembers who and what they are and who they are with throughout everyday life?

i mean at work, shopping etc, what do you give them to do or think etc in order to ensure they remember constantly when it's required?

i have a few things regarding this, but would like to know what you good folk think.

Thank you,

vicky

A trick from my past:

One of my favorite things was a little cat bell..you know the kind they bat around on the floor? I would give it to my girl in the morning before I left and then call her once or twice whilst she was at work..

Each time I spoke to her, she would have to ring the bell... Since she never knew when I was going to call (or if ) she had to keep it near at hand. Add that to the fact that she was a manager..and employees could come traipsing in her office at any time...well she never forgot...

Another fun one...a length of black satin, riding her cleft, beneath her dress slacks...she never forgot me..

(for that matter when I used the trick on my boy..the color was different but the effect was the same...)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

A trick from my past:

Another fun one...a length of black satin, riding her cleft, beneath her dress slacks...she never forgot me...

Biting the tongue hard, but can't help smiling.

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

yeah i guess a lingering kiss wouldn't really be as good a remembrance as some old fashioned cane stripes...

Actually, from my experiences back in my vanilla days, I would have to say no.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Three quick comments

Remember I deal with busy real life and some people can't spend four hours a day flogging each other senseless. Yes, some of these are obvious stretches that kill spontaneity...but again, sometimes you have to feed a multitude with a single loaf of bread.

1. Small rituals can be helpful as "forget-me-nots" when I can't give full attention. Look through old posts to read Shadowsdream's thoughts on rituals. My style is different from her's (she is very formal), but she really typed out a fully systematic framework.

2. Small inside jokes or obscure references about the relationship that can be made in mixed company. Whatever you can get away with saying.

3. When doing something new (hopefully at least once a month -- even a busy dominant can do that much!), promise a "surprise" within the next 72 hours (or at a certain time) and leave small clues to build suspend. Let's say you are going to rig up some makeshift contraption from stuff bought at a hardware store. Leave a chain sitting on the kitchen counter. Drop a receipt for odd purchases in her car. Whatever. Just so the subbie can see you are working at something. Try to weave it into a fun game of anticipation.

Anyway, good luck!

 

[bytor2112]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Bring outch'er dead

Actually, from my experiences back in my vanilla days, I would have to say no.

 

[bytor2112]

Re: Re: How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

A trick from my past:

One of my favorite things was a little cat bell..you know the kind they bat around on the floor? I would give it to my girl in the morning before I left and then call her once or twice whilst she was at work..

Each time I spoke to her, she would have to ring the bell... Since she never knew when I was going to call (or if ) she had to keep it near at hand. Add that to the fact that she was a manager..and employees could come traipsing in her office at any time...well she never forgot...

Another fun one...a length of black satin, riding her cleft, beneath her dress slacks...she never forgot me..

(for that matter when I used the trick on my boy..the color was different but the effect was the same...)

what woman!!! where did you find her....in the middle of the "got no self worth" aisle???

 

[fallon2]

For me

For me, I try to e mail, im, maybe send a gift, but let her know she is SPECIAL. That is what I would do and in general RESPECT her needs and desires as well as her feelings. And when she can speak on the phone.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: Re: Re: How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

Biting the tongue hard, but can't help smiling.

Egads, AA...

what is with the smile (and should I be worried???)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Re: How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

Egads, AA...

what is with the smile (and should I be worried???)

If the pyl has an office job, have them ride a ruler every moment seated at the desk, on edge, for the day.

 

[Technodivinitas]

Memory Sharpener

(Posted this over in the Toy Index thread...)

Master has me wear a Tack Bra, or Iron Maiden, to remember my place. It's lovely, but ohhhhhhh does it ache!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How do dominants make sure their subs don't forget?

If the pyl has an office job, have them ride a ruler every moment seated at the desk, on edge, for the day.

SWEET...

I like this idea...(and it has even given me a new idea or 5)

 

[shy slave]

Mr Blonde

I am now off to trawl Shadowsdream old posts, she scares me but Master thinks she is wonderful.

Therefore if I find the rituals post and it scares me, I will be in full force denial when He asks whet has been on Lit recently

Techno ~ I have said before I admire you, but that bra
My God how do you manage that all day. I hate ordinary bras at the best of times

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Mr Blonde

... Therefore if I find the rituals post and it scares me, I will be in full force denial when He asks whet has been on Lit recently
...

Are you telling us, doll that you lie? sorta?

 

[Technodivinitas]

Assorted Aboves...

Luna_Wolf: Thank you! I always wanted to see the tacks implemented in say, someone else's shorts, for instance... Just to point up a particularly nice paddling. As I said, He has me make them myself, (for some reason, the breasts of women with my Master always grow inexplicably- I've gone from a 34B to a 38D in the course of 9 years!) and the one in the pic is the most recent. In the past, I've always used big thumbtacks, but I saw these lovely upholstery/furniture nails, and decided the beauty was worth the extra pain. Since I just finished building it today, we'll just have to see, I guess!

shy_slave: Thank you as well! (Master will be so proud when He sees the compliments. Maybe He'll let me take it off before he plays with me...) I hate bras too- and the bust growth has made them worse. (Plus, I can't go without anymore- ever. ) But these are more bearable because A: erotic pain much better than sweaty bra-strap burns, and B: They really *do* keep me reminded of what I am!

I'm going to go e-mail the pic to Master now- He'll be pleased with that too, I think.