How difficult do you find it?

It's the ungrammatical, often halting nature of real speech that I have difficulty rendering. One "uh..." goes a long way. And I find myself with too many sentences that trail off (...) or switch tracks in mid-phrase and just look like a mess on the page. Writing a few paragraphs of overlapping dialogue where people interrupt one another as they do IRL is similarly a thing I tend to do and then need to edit into some kind of flow that reads reasonably well.
 
It's the ungrammatical, often halting nature of real speech that I have difficulty rendering. One "uh..." goes a long way. And I find myself with too many sentences that trail off (...) or switch tracks in mid-phrase and just look like a mess on the page. Writing a few paragraphs of overlapping dialogue where people interrupt one another as they do IRL is similarly a thing I tend to do and then need to edit into some kind of flow that reads reasonably well.
I think the key is not to overdo it. There's no need to render dialogue in a way that exactly mirrors the extremely ungrammatical way that people really talk, with all the Ums and Likes and You knows that go with that. A few touches will give the reader a good enough idea about the speaker's speech patterns and background.
 
I think the key is not to overdo it. There's no need to render dialogue in a way that exactly mirrors the extremely ungrammatical way that people really talk, with all the Ums and Likes and You knows that go with that. A few touches will give the reader a good enough idea about the speaker's speech patterns and background.
That's pretty much it, I've read transcripts of actual conversations and come away with "What a couple of idiots! Who taught them to talk?" But hearing the conversation sounds natural. What's up with that?
 
Obviously we are all to some degree creators of filth, as such it’s the sex that’s brought people here, BUT, at the same time, plot and character are also vitally important.

So my question is this, how difficult do you find it to balance the requirement of sexual shenanigans in your story with the narrative need to have an engaging and interesting plot?

I know I’m finding it challenging with my current story but just thought I’d see if I was the only one getting lost in plot.
I purposely leave "holes" in the stories that I write, to write other parts of the story and to let the reader use their own imagination and leave them guessing. It's more fun for me that way.
 
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Sometime back, I write a chapter with zero sex. The characters were staging a rescue, so all of the “action” was of the literal kind. I was a bit concerned that it would get bombed in the reviews, but was pleasantly surprised that it rated very highly and remains up there. I think you can get away with that more in long-form stories.

I’ve come across a few cases where it felt like cutting out or dialing back the sex scenes would have improved the story. It can actually start to feel repetitive and boring if you put in too much sex without finding ways to make it feel fresh.
 
Sometime back, I write a chapter with zero sex. The characters were staging a rescue, so all of the “action” was of the literal kind. I was a bit concerned that it would get bombed in the reviews, but was pleasantly surprised that it rated very highly and remains up there. I think you can get away with that more in long-form stories.

I’ve come across a few cases where it felt like cutting out or dialing back the sex scenes would have improved the story. It can actually start to feel repetitive and boring if you put in too much sex without finding ways to make it feel fresh.
While repeating the same exact phrasings and pacing can indeed become a bore, it can also be a setup for an unexpected switchup. Instead of going blowjob-fuck-sleep, blowjob-fuck-sleep, add in a blowjob-fuck-finger-sleep down the line. Takes a while to set up, and as such usually is better as a subplot, but it can be beneficial for character development, or perhaps redemption. Perhaps the cheater takes what they learn while cheating and use it to spark up the home-fires, saving their marriage. The messy details of how that works (or doesn't!) IMO just improve the tale. Or they're getting mentored, or they found porn, or ... well, pick your poison!
 
While repeating the same exact phrasings and pacing can indeed become a bore, it can also be a setup for an unexpected switchup. Instead of going blowjob-fuck-sleep, blowjob-fuck-sleep, add in a blowjob-fuck-finger-sleep down the line. Takes a while to set up, and as such usually is better as a subplot, but it can be beneficial for character development, or perhaps redemption. Perhaps the cheater takes what they learn while cheating and use it to spark up the home-fires, saving their marriage. The messy details of how that works (or doesn't!) IMO just improve the tale. Or they're getting mentored, or they found porn, or ... well, pick your poison!
I think a good way to phrase it is that a sex scene should always break new ground. That might mean different sex acts or different partners, but it also might mean a change in how the characters relate to each other, a new understanding or a deepening of affection. BDSM stories typically have a clear trajectory of the dominant asserting greater control over the submissive. The best BDSM stories take the reader on an emotional journey, where the dom and sub change from their experiences.
 
I think a good way to phrase it is that a sex scene should always break new ground.
You've framed this nicely. How many times has one made love in a life? Hopefully lots. Was each time always the same? Clearly not. While many patterns can be similar, every time brings something new, a different setting, a variation on a preferred means of enjoyment, (a new partner?)

I've always found the best stories lure the reader into the experience, which can be accomplished in multiple ways: by engaging senses, drawing a picture, connecting the reader's mind to specific details (including emotional undercurrents) - thereby showing that the narrator/writer is perceptive and authentic, a fully aware human.

Excitement described, revealed, brought home, that's the gold standard.
 
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