How different would your life have been had you married him or her?

[SusanJillParker]

Now that you've been married too long to remember what passionate sex was like, do you still remember the one who got away? Do you remember the one you should have married?

Close your eyes and take a moment. Think about her. Think about him.

Tell us about her or him. What did he or her look like? What was he or she like? Why were you so attracted to him or her that it still hurts your heart to remember. What happened? How different would your life have been if you married her or him.

Of course, they'll be those who will write that they've been truly happy and are still in love after 30 or 40 years. The Ozzie and Harriet's of the world, I hate people like that (lol). We don't want to hear from you (lol). We want to hear from the man or woman who is totally miserable with their present spouse or alone while wondering what if. We want to hear from the men who still think of her and are haunted by her. We want to hear from the women who still think of him and are haunted by him.

Me? I should have married anyone of a number of men I dated instead of marrying my ex, a bad boy, Boston cop. When he told me his background, ignoring all of that because he was so good looking and charming, I was blind. I should have ran away from him as fast as I could.

An ex Army Ranger, he served two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. He wanted to stay there. He wanted to be part the private security forces that are over there for the money, lots of money. Only, he was seriously injured and had to return home. A 5th degree black belt in Judo, he had thoughts of being an MMA fighter. Instead he became a Boston undercover cop. He was a violent angry man. Our marriage lasted 3 years.

I should have married someone else, anyone else (lol) but him. Still, I can't help but wonder what if I had married this one or that one. Had I married someone else, had I had a brood of kids, I seriously doubt that I'd have the time to ponder such thing while writing stories.

So...what about you?

 

[LucyCanyon]

An interesting thread topic, unusual for me to be one of the first posting.

It's not always healthy to think about what if, though in this instance it's fun. Currently stultified, and hence here to explore and, as has happened occasionally, chat and meet.

There are a couple I look back on, but realise the good things she had - super sexy body, a hatred of tights/hose and a gloriously naughty mind - were outweighed by the control and jealousy, so it was right to split when we did. I fondly remember fantastic sex but then ruefully remind myself of the slow losing of many friends.

There is one... She and I never made it as young people, too busy being great mates to notice we rather liked each other. Fast forward to 5 years ago when we got back in touch, her unhappy with hubby, me playing on here. We have since shared a fantastic online relationship, no holds barred on cam and pic, as she is in the US. Lean and lithe, most importantly she has a very erotic mindset, loves stockings (on me as well as her!) and keeps her pussy well smooth and her legs well toned. Only a shame our physical meets are so rare....

Would it have worked? Probably not, but she would have worn me out trying

 

[Zeb_Carter]

How the hell should I know...I didn't marry her, moot point.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Maybe because I was so young, so full of myself, and so picky, I could never find one man who had it all until I met my ex. Only, I didn't know he was insane. I should have known with the things he did and the acts of violence he confessed.

Interestingly enough the one man who was the best kisser and who gave me the best sex in bed was such a loser. He graduated college but he didn't have a job. He didn't care about money. He traveled a lot. He just wanted to be free.

Come to find out, he was rich, very rich. Had I known his family had money, a lot of money (lol), I would have married him. Now, after looking him up on the Internet, after his father recently died, he's president of the company.

I'd ask him out but he's married with three kids. Who knew? There's a reason for everything, I guess. Still I think of him while wondering, what if...

 

[Penuche]

I remember one of the ones who got away all too well, and I'm extremely thankful that we split up.

In the good moments, the chemistry was very definitely there, unfortunately so were the early warning signs of pathological jealousy (his) and domestic violence (his). I'm not going to go into details here, but at least one of us could very easily have ended up dead.

 

[lovecraft68]

When I was 22 I had a crossroads two girls in my life, one was girl next door pretty, very sweet, very loving, a good girl, little bit vanilla, but nothing I couldn't corrupt with enough time

The other was the female equivalent to me. Hell raiser from a broken home, lot of rage, lot of issues, but hot as hell the bad girl to my bad boy

I married the bad one. Seven years later we had an ugly divorce which topped off seven years of nothing but trouble.

However I did get to beautiful daughters out of it so I always look back and thnk was it really a mistake? Hard to say, so I chalk it up as the choice I was meant to make at the time.

15 years ago I was there again. Running wild with barely legals I was picking up in clubs, into the hardcore BDSM fetish scene 32 acting 22 again then I met a very good girl who for some out of character reason was interested in me who was the opposite of everything she was raised to look for

Thinking back on wife number one I made the better choice this time, ditching the wild life and chasing the good girl. We've been together fifteen years now, married for thirteen and I couldn't be happier with her, despite our yin/yang nature she's my true twin flame.

And I've done a pretty good job of corrupting her.

Sometimes life gives us the second chance to get it right

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I'm married 42 years to the same woman. We have 4 kids and 10 grandkids.

There were 5 others I was fond of. Two I lost track of, and the years weren't kind to the others.

I was cute enough, and good enough in bed, maybe too nice. But I have a fatal flaw that makes females crazy. I'm the tortoise not the hare. I invented laid-back, but I accomplished a lot during my life. But to look at me most people get the idea not to expect much from me. Recall how PILOT rode my ass about posting stories, but I posted over 100 from 2013 till June of this year. I have my own agenda and TO DO List. The girls I liked wanted white tornados.

I like to think about things before I jump on them. I want to find the quickest, cheapest way to do something. People like to see you busting your ass full of excitement.

There usta be an old joke about 2 bulls. One was young, one was old. Atop a knoll one day, they saw a herd of cows below them. The young bull said, LETS RUN DOWN AND FUCK A COW! The old bull replied, LETS WALK DOWN AND FUCK THEM ALL.

I'm the old bull since I was a kid.

I married a farmers daughter. Farmers are just like me.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I'm married 42 years to the same woman. We have 4 kids and 10 grandkids.

There were 5 others I was fond of. Two I lost track of, and the years weren't kind to the others.

I was cute enough, and good enough in bed, maybe too nice. But I have a fatal flaw that makes females crazy. I'm the tortoise not the hare. I invented laid-back, but I accomplished a lot during my life. But to look at me most people get the idea not to expect much from me. Recall how PILOT rode my ass about posting stories, but I posted over 100 from 2013 till June of this year. I have my own agenda and TO DO List. The girls I liked wanted white tornados.

I like to think about things before I jump on them. I want to find the quickest, cheapest way to do something. People like to see you busting your ass full of excitement.

There usta be an old joke about 2 bulls. One was young, one was old. Atop a knoll one day, they saw a herd of cows below them. The young bull said, LETS RUN DOWN AND FUCK A COW! The old bull replied, LETS WALK DOWN AND FUCK THEM ALL.

I'm the old bull since I was a kid.

I married a farmers daughter. Farmers are just like me.

Wow! I never figured you for being into group sex (lol). Only...I'd never have sex with a farm animal (lol).

Actually, there was this one pig...his name was Gary and he did things to me that I've never done with any other man.

"Bark like a dog," he said and I did (lol).

 

[ElectricBlue]

I've been silly enough to write my own life tragedy into a story cycle right here on Lit - Memory and Loss. The story title sorta kinda gives it all away. I was only eighteen and a half (the first part of the story) and at that age hearts just don't know what to do when they break. Just keep beating, I guess.

 

[R. Richard]

At one point in my life, I met a girl who actually looked like a movie star. When we walked into a place, people would actually turn to look at her and she would dominate the scene. (I'm, charitably speaking, average looking.)
The girl would give me mothing and I quickly came to realize that she was not for me. However, I did date her for a bit, since it raised my rating with the other ladies.
I left her and then observed that the guys that she was attracted to were, tall handsome zeros, who had looks and nothing else.
The girl then squandered her advantages, by doing nothing to maintain herself. She lost her job as a glamor airline stewardess, because of excess flab. She then was rejected by every male with any sort of economic potential, because of the zero worth pretty boys who hung around her.
Now, when I wake up screaming, I just remind myself that I escaped and go back to sleep.

 

[beachbum1958]

I actually married the girl I wanted, we'd been together all our lives, we grew up together in Somerset, then she was sent to boarding school in Rutland, while I was in school in Windsor, and she went to study medicine at Southampton, while I was at Cambridge, and we lost touch. 5 years later, I was at Univ London St George's, preparing to do my surgical elective, and in she walked, also to do her surgical elective. We moved in together, and three years later got married the morning of the day we graduated. She died in childbirth a year later, along with one of my twin daughters, and that was it for me; I was alone with my surviving daughter for eight years before I met my wife, Lori, and we've been married over 18 years now.

I still dream about the one I lost, she didn't get away, she was taken away by a negligent surgeon who didn't know what he was doing, and when I look at my daughter all I see is her mother, and that hurts even more. Lori knows and understands how I feel, she took the time to put us back together so we work, and she's the one I love and adore; even my daughter, who used to refer to Lori as 'the woman who lives with my daddy', not 'my step-mum, has come to accept that Lori is the one who makes this family.

Lori has the first thing my mouthy 8-year old daughter ever said to her engraved inside her wedding ring; '...I've got a bad feeling about this...' Eighteen years later, she's the world's proudest grandmother, and I'm happily married to the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I used to believe you only ever got one shot to get it exactly, perfectly right, and I'd had mine, but I got a second chance, so maybe God, Allah, Yaweh, Buddha, or the Great Pumpkin is watching over us and sometimes clicks his fingers and makes it right again. Life is good.

 

[sr71plt]

We would have been divorced by now. We were both international relations majors, got as far as an engagement, and then one night I realized she was talking about a career in South America and I was talking about Asia. We both went where we were talking about going. The other close miss before the final one took (48 years now) was a third-generation Japanese American--in Virginia, where I was informed that interracial marriage was against the law at the time.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

First marriage... Mistake.

Second relationship... Disaster.

Second marriage... Bingo. We fight every day, laughing.

But I had to endure the first two in order to mature into the person who could find and understand the love of my life.

Shit happens... But sometimes it's fertilizer.

 

[Penuche]

<snip> Shit happens... But sometimes it's fertilizer.

Absolutely

 

[LucidLucifer]

Never was one that got away and marriage is insanity.

 

[49greg]

Her name was Nancy. She was a bit plump, Zaftig is how I once heard dad refer to her mom who had the same build. She was from Wisconsin and had milk white skin without a blemish and platinum blond hair - as did her older brother and Mom so I'd guess it was natural.

She had blue blue eyes. She was sweet, and not full of herself. When I talked to her I got tongue tied because she was so damned smart. We were in Sunday school together although she was a year behind me in school. For years I always apologized in my prayers for having "those" kind of thoughts in church when I looked at her (and a definitely hard reaction to 'those' thoughts.)

Our parents forced both of us into a youth square dance group one summer and we ended up being partners. Holding her hand was fantastic and I loved having my arm around her. That was junior high and I think that's when I started thinking of her as more than just a friend. I was a terrible geek back then. My mom made my shirts and used whatever fabric was on sale, and dad made me have a buzz cut on my head, in the sixties when everyone was growing long hair. No wonder I had no confidence with girls LOL.

She disappeared from high school my senior year, her family moved and I had never got up to the nerve to get romantic with her, we were 'friends' and I hated the thought of messing that up by asking and being rejected. I never knew if she felt the same way, but we were neighbors so spent time together in the summers, well I spent time with her brother and she tagged along when we were younger, but in HS we spent time alone, hanging out, doing homework. I know she was very shy and her family was uber religious.

We exchanged letters every few months for a year or so and then that petered out. Back in the early nineties I found out that eight or nine years previously she had died of breast cancer not being discovered until too late. My mother had run into a mutual friend of her mother. Nancy must have only been in her forties.

I keep thinking aweful thoughts like if I had married her, we would have found any lumps much earlier, she had wonderful breasts and I know I would have never let a day go by without feeling, touching, massaging them.

I think I've put a little of her in a story or two without realizing it, but one I started working on several months ago has a lot her. I didn't realize it it first, but when I had to come up with a story idea for NANO I decided to finish this story which had been dormant for some time. When I looked at what I had, mostly and outline and scenario, I saw Nancy staring back at me, or at least what I imagined her to be like in her thirties, if she had lived in the nineteen forties LOL. I need to finish it so now it's my NANO story, (on a different .odt document doing later parts and filled in bits of the outline, I don't want to cheat on NANO.)

 

[Hypoxia]

First marriage: too young, too dumb, total disaster except for a good child -- lost to adoption for decades.

Second marriage: surprisingly good and long-lasting -- best thing I ever did in my life.

In between: hard prospects. One really wanted me but died young. One wanted me to marry into their prominent (powerful, wealthy) family. Would I have been happy as a kept Hypoxia? This last was in a 4-way competition (and no, I didn't fuck them all to see who was optimal). It was a tough choice but I went with what felt best. It worked out well.

 

[jehoram]

Somebody (I think it was Tom T. Hall) wrote a song called "Pamela Brown" on that very subject.

"I'm the guy that didn't marry pretty Pamela Brown
Educated, well intentioned good girl in our town.
I wonder where I'd be today if she had loved me too.
I'd probably be driving kids to school."

And so on.

For me, it was the girl with the great smile and Jane Fonda voice. We had a great relationship for a half a year. Then she dumped me, just at the same time my business went down the tubes. Granted, I had a few issues, but I think that I could have resolved them if she had been more open about it, and if she'd given me a little more time. It took me a long, long time to recover from that one.

But it would probably have not been a good marriage, since she was obviously aiming for bigger and better things than a marriage with me. And since she hasn't answered the emails and phone messages I sent her a few years ago, after we'd been out of touch for thirty years, I'll assume that she never had the thing for me that I had for her.

 

[sinagainChris12]

Now that you've been married too long to remember what passionate sex was like, do you still remember the one who got away?

I've been married almost 13 years and the sex just keeps getting better. So..... The one that 'got away' well, he's still living in my home town married to a woman who I adore, who looks a little like me. lol.

I wouldn't trade him for the man I have now. Things usually work out the way they're supposed to...at least for some.

 

[oggbashan]

I was engaged three times before I met my wife. She had been engaged once.

We have been happily married for 43 years. We didn't bother with an engagement. We just planned the wedding.

1. My first fiancée wasn't happy with my then career which meant relocating every three years to different parts of the world. I changed careers to fit but that meant working in London. She decided she didn't want to leave her home town and/or she met a Royal Marine. His job meant travelling the world...

He left her when he was posted to Hong Kong. A couple of years later she married a man from her home town and now they are grandparents.

2. My second fiancée decided she was my fiancée without consulting me. She just told me we were engaged when we were on the way to stay with her parents for a weekend. They weren't impressed with me as a potential husband for their daughter because I wasn't sufficiently 'county'. They relented somewhat when I demonstrated that I could ride a horse across difficult country at speed, but I wasn't of the right class for her daughter. Awkwardly for them, I was nearly good enough. If I had been a working class oik they would have found it easier to persuade their daughter to reject me.

I had an embarrassing discussion with her father who asked what my intentions were. When I told him that I had none, and the whole engagement was his daughter's idea, he was relieved. He opened a celebratory bottle of vintage Port, followed by another, and we got drunk together, much to the disgust of his wife and daughter. The next day he told his daughter that she was an idiot.

She married an 'Honourable' and now has a title (and grandchildren). I was welcome at her parents' home for years after she married - to drink Port with her father and go riding with her mother.

3. We got engaged in bed - never a good idea. We found that we were physically attracted to each other but there was nothing more. The engagement lasted a few exciting months until we found others. She married twice, divorced once and widowed once. She now has a string of toy boys as she lives the life of a rich merry widow in Australia.

There was a break of two years after fiancée three before I met my wife, then a year from first meeting to our marriage. Fiancées 2 and 3 sent their best wishes but didn't come to our wedding. Fiancée 1 was in labour with her second child at the time, but sent a Christmas card to the newly married couple.

 

[Tigersman]

Soulmate

About three months after my divorce from my first wife, I met a young lady at a club where there was dancing. For the next six months I dated her exclusively. She was about my height, was intelligent, witty, charming, loving and sexy, not to mention very easy on the eyes.

During our dating, she told me she had broken off two relationships because the guys were not headed in the same direction as she was. Through no fault of my own, I ended job hunting towards year end when companies are not normally in the hiring mode. I ended up staying with my mother for awhile. When money got really tight, I took two jobs so I could finish school. Before this, I started to fear my girlfriend was going to dump me like she had the other two.

I decided I could handle the break-up better if I was the one to break up the relationship. I never told her the true reason for the break-up. I ended up going into a very deep depression, losing 30 + pounds and even tried to commit suicide by vehicle.

I threw away my soulmate and have regretted it every day.

 

[MatthewVett]

Oh, I dodged a cannonball when I broke up with the first girl I thought I'd marry. She was...special... She was eager to please, I'll give her that, but she held onto memories from a decade ago, waiting for the right time to give me a lecture on how awful I was. Luckily I've stopped talking to her entirely. Had I married her, I'd definitely be divorced already.