How did you tell your 1st partner what you liked?

[firstimer_guy]

Im just wondering how did you break thru the fears of being rejected or maybe having that special someone think you are weird and walk away. How did you tell them what you liked and asked them to participate?

 

[Desdemona]

We exchanged BDSM checklists. We got to know each other first and found out both of us were interested in kink. We found online sources for checklists and that's how we discussed it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Actually, he told me what he liked and then he told me what I liked.

He was right on the mark, too.

 

[Etoile]

Heh! It worked that way for me too.

 

[Marquis]

My first partner told me what she liked first, so it made it a lot easier to share my fantasies.

These days, I try not to wait too long before I try to figure out what a girl's into. I have no interest in chasing rainbows.

 

[Aeroil]

I've never had a partner , 'nilla or BDSM

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

We also exchanged BDSM checklists, also. We found several different ones and then kind of consolidated them into one giant one and went one by one down the list. Then, He threw the list out the window and went with whatever He wanted anyway.

Gawd, I miss that Man.

 

[Meat Whistler]

He made me comfortable enough to share all my desires with him and it simply went from there.

 

[Xelebes]

I am currently trying to get my first relationship started. If luck goes like other attempts - it will falter before I eben get to utter that I am a pervert. But there is always hope.

 

[Mr Blonde]

In my initial relationship, on the spur of the moment I initiated something kinky with my steady girlfriend. Later, as we laid in bed together, we talked about it. She seemed receptive so I told her of some other ideas and we took it further. That was how it went -- some experimentation, followed by discussion and feedback, leading to more experimentation.

As for initial nerves, at some point you have to take chances to get what you want. If you've been badly rejected a couple of times, review how you made your revelations and try to improve next time.

Maybe you babbled too much crazy talk or maybe you didn't say enough? I do think there is an optimal amount of discussion. Not enough and a woman might feel alienated, too much and she might feel like a guinea pig in a clinical trial.

 

[Aeroil]

In my initial relationship, on the spur of the moment I initiated something kinky with my steady girlfriend. Later, as we laid in bed together, we talked about it. She seemed receptive so I told her of some other ideas and we took it further. That was how it went -- some experimentation, followed by discussion and feedback, leading to more experimentation.

As for initial nerves, at some point you have to take chances to get what you want. If you've been badly rejected a couple of times, review how you made your revelations and try to improve next time.

Maybe you babbled too much crazy talk or maybe you didn't say enough? I do think there is an optimal amount of discussion. Not enough and a woman might feel alienated, too much and she might feel like a guinea pig in a clinical trial.

haha, in order to even be rejected you have to not be too shy to ask a girl out

 

[firstimer_guy]

In my initial relationship, on the spur of the moment I initiated something kinky with my steady girlfriend. Later, as we laid in bed together, we talked about it. She seemed receptive so I told her of some other ideas and we took it further. That was how it went -- some experimentation, followed by discussion and feedback, leading to more experimentation.

As for initial nerves, at some point you have to take chances to get what you want. If you've been badly rejected a couple of times, review how you made your revelations and try to improve next time.

Maybe you babbled too much crazy talk or maybe you didn't say enough? I do think there is an optimal amount of discussion. Not enough and a woman might feel alienated, too much and she might feel like a guinea pig in a clinical trial.

i've only tried to discuss it with one girl. We did 69 and she ended up doing some facesitting. She really seemed into it. I tried to bring it up a few hrs afterwards and she denied liking that. She claimed that she just got caught in the heat of the moment and it would not happen again I've tried to hint with other girls, hoping hey would hint back and take it from there. But so far no luck. Im just so sick and tired of regular sex, i'm gonna lose my mind if I dont try something different.

 

[SweetDommes]

We started out because Holly told me a dream that she had about being tied down ... so I tied her down and it worked for us both We talked about other stuff too ... and joked about having houseboys for about 3 years ... then realized that after 3 years, we probably weren't joking LOL

 

[shy slave]

Actually, he told me what he liked and then he told me what I liked.

He was right on the mark, too.

Yes thats how it worked out here as well In fact He is still telling me.

My first encounter was through my telling him a fantasy, he was vanilla but it made me realise who and what I am.

 

[robynwildchild]

awww

i've not had bsdm partner but i've had others.. and well .. i'm horrid at keeping anything.. let alone being kept..

so i can't quite answer your question.. least i can say from previous experience is to keep an open mind and PLAY.. humor and playfulness are always gateway transitions into new things..

 

[A Desert Rose]

Heh! It worked that way for me too.

funny how that works, huh? LOL

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes thats how it worked out here as well In fact He is still telling me.

My first encounter was through my telling him a fantasy, he was vanilla but it made me realise who and what I am.

It's amazing how the right Fella just knows... and just knows how to read you just right. ;-D

 

[Aeroil]

It's amazing how the right Fella just knows... and just knows how to read you just right. ;-D

hmm, sounds neat but that doesn't really help me. I very much doubt there's a fella that knows what I want, and if he does he'll know I want nothing to do with him . hehehe.

 

[babiesmiles]

I'm starting only now to find out what I really like.....

 

[Angie420]

During vanilla sex, He started talking dirty to me. I just kind of started agreeing with him, talking back. Telling him how I liked submissive positions (doggie style) and anal sex. Things kind of escalated, but not enough for me. I also used a check list to bring some stuff up to him. Just last night, we watched Secretary, that helped me bring up more stuff to him.

 

[snowy ciara]

I've never had a bdsm partner, and only one besides that. But I'm not planning on looking outside of the perverati when I'm ready to actually try it. I know what I am, and I don't want to risk my heart and health on someone who can't deal with my kink. Other than that, I plan on following Des' sterling example and doing the limit list thing.

 

[Despina]

We declared Open Season at the beginning of our relationship, agreeing to try anything of interest at least once. It's opened my eyes to indescribable pleasures and also brought the fun back to fucking. Limits suck, and in my case they only add wonder/want (which becomes frustration if the wonder/want is not appeased somehow). Trying something and learning together that it's not worth trying again is easy.

~D

 

[catalina_francisco]

OK, maybe this will sound too simplistic, but apart from seeking someone openly who shares your kinks, if you reveal to another your desires and are rejected, consider them as doing you a favour because if the need is strong enough to need filling, they never would have been the right partner for you in the first place.

Catalina

 

[ihavequestions]

the wrong way

My husband came home one night and told me he wanted to try something "kinky".

That was the night he brought out the strap on

The second night he dressed head to toe in womens underwear.

We had never discussed anything like this. So I was a bit thrown by it all.

In retospect he admits that this IS NOT how to bring it up

 

[oddity83]

Told her I was a little bit of a kink freak. started Talking more after that... if the relationship had lasted longer we would have tried a few more things.