How did you embrace/accept your sexuality?

[ohwhynot77]

After 36 years, I still feel that wanting, needing and enjoying sex is shameful. I love, want and need sex. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. I want to embrace and celebrate my inner sex goddess. Yet my head takes over and beats her down with a heavy dose of slut shaming. I know women who are really sex positive and unabashed in their enjoyment of giving and receiving. I think thats awesome!

How do you get to that point?

I'd really like to have sex and not feel like a dirty, guilty, worthless whore after. I tend to go through cycles of sexuality and shame, over and over again.

How can I just be OK with my inner horny beast?

 

[Noor]

After 36 years, I still feel that wanting, needing and enjoying sex is shameful. I love, want and need sex. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. I want to embrace and celebrate my inner sex goddess. Yet my head takes over and beats her down with a heavy dose of slut shaming. I know women who are really sex positive and unabashed in their enjoyment of giving and receiving. I think thats awesome!

How do you get to that point?

I'd really like to have sex and not feel like a dirty, guilty, worthless whore after. I tend to go through cycles of sexuality and shame, over and over again.

How can I just be OK with my inner horny beast?

I am afraid I can't help you, I have never been ashamed or felt dirty or anything. I come from a culture where sex is a right of women, and also one where you don't do what you feel is wrong so I don't. Luckily very few things are wrong.

We are given our bodies to enjoy life, we try not to do to other people what would we would not want done to ourselves, all these rules esp. for women are merely for male dominated cultures to try to control us. I suppose you must take ownership of your body, it's yours to do as you please and enjoy, just try not to hurt anyone else in the process

 

[Crayons]

After 36 years, I still feel that wanting, needing and enjoying sex is shameful. I love, want and need sex. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. I want to embrace and celebrate my inner sex goddess. Yet my head takes over and beats her down with a heavy dose of slut shaming. I know women who are really sex positive and unabashed in their enjoyment of giving and receiving. I think thats awesome!

How do you get to that point?

I'd really like to have sex and not feel like a dirty, guilty, worthless whore after. I tend to go through cycles of sexuality and shame, over and over again.

How can I just be OK with my inner horny beast?

It's nice if you can tell yourself happy positive things until you accept yourself the way you are.

If you don't believe yourself, though, it helps to get together with someone (or someones) who loves all the things you do in bed. Then make each other deliriously happy. Repeat until you believe it when (s)he tells you that was awesome and you're the best. Then repeat it some more.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

how?

How do you think you learned that sex is shameful? From whom? Do you think those teachings serve you well?

 

[Hans101]

I never bought in to the idea that sex is wrong. In fact the very idea of it being wrong strikes me not so much as incorrect as incomprehensible. Like stringing together a series of words that don't follow noun -> verb -> object, or any variant thereof, and therefore are just gibberish.

If someone sold you on the idea that sex is wrong, possibly at a young age, think back to when that was, and who it was that told you. Was the person who sold you on that idea someone to be trusted?

 

[sterculius]

I'm a guy, but I'm also an insatiable cocksucker. I love women and have always lusted after women but ever since I was a young teenager when I used to enjoy giving blowjobs almost every day to my best friend, I've been addicted to sucking cock. I used to feel ashamed of having these uncontrollably intense "abnormal" desires even though I would constantly hunger for each new opportunity to get down on my knees to take his very large cock into my mouth and suck on it until he came. I remember admiring girls who were called "sluts" and feeling jealous of their ability and determination to ignore the social standards of the time and give free reign to their sexuality, not caring what others thought about them. I envied the sluts and wished that I could be just like them. It took quite a while and a lot of soul searching before I was able to accept and ultimately rejoice in the fact that being a"Cocksucker"is who and what I am.

 

[SweetLittleFox]

sexuality should be embraced. Wanting sex is natural, having it is natural, enjoying it is fucking amazing! What shame is there in wanting the joy and pleasure that sex can bring? Or wanting to give those feelings to others? I assure you, the men or women you pleasure hold no thoughts like that of you (and the ones that do can just go fuck themselves next time), so why bring such unnecessary negativity down on yourself? It's just energy wasted that you could be using to suck a cock.

 

[MrsCCfromRC]

True sexual acceptance of myself happened when I met my perfect partner I think. Together sex is fun, playful, satisfying, fulfilling, erotic, intense and simply amazing. When it feels like that, it's tough to feel guilty about it.

 

[amofiga]

After 36 years, I still feel that wanting, needing and enjoying sex is shameful. I love, want and need sex. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. I want to embrace and celebrate my inner sex goddess. Yet my head takes over and beats her down with a heavy dose of slut shaming. I know women who are really sex positive and unabashed in their enjoyment of giving and receiving. I think thats awesome!

How do you get to that point?

I'd really like to have sex and not feel like a dirty, guilty, worthless whore after. I tend to go through cycles of sexuality and shame, over and over again.

How can I just be OK with my inner horny beast?

What do you think are the sources of your guilt, shame, inhibition? Parents, church, school, peers? Part of letting go of the guilt and shame OTHERS have put on you, is recognizing that YOUR life is YOUR life. You need to live it by what you want and worry less about what others tell you is right or wrong for YOU.

I was raised catholic and treated to all the wonderful guilt trips imposed by nuns, priests, my strong "believe it because the priest tells you" parents. I spent the better part of my teen years thinking I would go to hell for jerking off, and even once when I was 15 (ok, everyone can laugh now) decided it would be something good to give up for Lent. Right. Ha Ha. That lasted for about two days before I nearly exploded wacking it like a drunk monkey. Guess what? I wasn't struck by lightning.

Start by reading some things about normal human desires and fantasies, and behavior regarding sex in cultures other than those defined by eternal damnation, fire and brimestone. The early Christian missionaries did a lot to ruin the sex life of more free-living primative people all over the world.

Learn to accept the fact that if we are judged, it will be by how we treat others and not if we enjoy the sex organs God gave us. We don't feel ashamed for eating unless we abuse food and become morbidly obese. We don't feel ashamed for a little wine or nip of the barly corn (hell Jesus turned water into wine) unless we abuse it and harm our bodies, or harm others in the process. We don't feel ashamed for using our voice to sing or laugh or our feet to dance. So, unless you're consciously hurting or abusing someone wth your sex, enjoy it, embrace it, let your "inner slut" live free.

Remember, on their death beds, most people have more regret about the things they didn't do than the things they did. Again, not hurting others is the biggest factor for what should motivate you in whatever you do. Free and happy fucking and sucking in every manner imaginable in healthy ways with people you aren't hurting directly or in ways that would cause others to be hurt is a wonderful joyous thing. Guilt causes stress and stress kills. Shame robs strength from your soul.

 

[laceNlthrgrrl]

How do you think you learned that sex is shameful? From whom? Do you think those teachings serve you well?

This!

I was raised fairly conservative X-tian, but very curious about my world, including sex. I struggled with reasoning out what my body was telling me vs. what church said and pretty much decided there was something really wrong with the picture they were painting. IF (big one) God made our bodies, then we were given the ability to feel desire and pleasure, and the need for one to lead to the other. IF God is the loving deity I was taught about, how could enjoying these gifts be wrong? I just can't believe we would otherwise be set up to fail so harshly.

I do think we shouldn't waste this gift or squander it thoughtlessly, and I also believe sex should be an act of joy to celebrate our bodies and the divine way in which they were made.

 

[bi golly]

I was raised in a very strict Christian environment also. I learned in puberty that touching my anus was both 'dirty' and pleasurable. I struggled with that for a long time.

My fantasies were first about being with a woman who forced me to accept being penetrated. They progressed to her then then having a man penetrate me, but only against my wishes. At some point, I dispensed with the woman in my fantasies and accepted that I wanted this, but only fucking, not cock sucking. Then that prohibition fell along with kissing.

I have come to accept that I have nerve endings in my anus and rectum and they can generate very pleasing sensations. There is nothing wrong with partaking of them.

I am mostly straight, but I would have a man, if he would have me.

 

[DeviantDaniel]

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[COCK_STAR]

Maybe, for you, the shame/excitement of sex is what truly gets you off. You should go get really "slutty", and find out.

 

[bill3901]

Transcendence is where the erotic meets love meets music meets poetry...

Christopher Hitchens

 

[Amanda83]

honey I was raised by a very religous catholic father. I was told sex before marrage was wrong blah blah. and well I told the priest that if sex was soo wrong it wouldnt feel good and walked away. what later happened in church I am sure I am going to hell for but the priest was not complaining.

you have to love youself and know that what you are doing is nothing wrong. it is you being free and free loving.

edit to say... I didnt fuck the priest

 

[Elixxxher]

Horny beast

After 36 years, I still feel that wanting, needing and enjoying sex is shameful. I love, want and need sex. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. I want to embrace and celebrate my inner sex goddess. Yet my head takes over and beats her down with a heavy dose of slut shaming. I know women who are really sex positive and unabashed in their enjoyment of giving and receiving. I think thats awesome!

How do you get to that point?

I'd really like to have sex and not feel like a dirty, guilty, worthless whore after. I tend to go through cycles of sexuality and shame, over and over again.

How can I just be OK with my inner horny beast?

One thing you can look into is discussing your horniness with your partner and perhaps encourage a conversation about what peeks your interest. Pretty new to posing here I'm working to explore interests and discussing them with my better half as well.

 

[cryingalien]

Here on lit I am who I want to be- plain and simple

 

[turnofthepaige]

Life is too short to not accept who you are. I waited a long time but got awakened to who I am a couple years ago and had wish I hadn't denied myself as long as I had and gotten myself into situations that still make it very hard to express myself very often