House Rules

[oggbashan]

Father-in-law

My father-in-law had depression for many years.

He and his wife evolved several coping techniques. One of them was an invariable routine for breakfast. His place had to be laid just so. The positioning of cutlery, plates, cup and other items could be plotted on a template.

He never spoke until he had read at least four pages of the newspaper, and no one was to read it before he did.

As a potential son-in-law I had to learn to adapt to the rules of the house.

The rules were for his protection when his depression was at its worst. He could cope most of the time as long as he observed his domestic routines faithfully, then leave the house, go to work at a demanding management role and perform successfully. His routines were his refuge from the strain of continuing to function despite his illness.

After one bad period of two months, one morning he didn't pick up the newspaper, looked at his wife as if he hadn't seen her for two years, and announced:

"I think I would like a sausage this morning."

He was surprised when she burst into tears. It was the first decision he had taken outside his set routines for nearly a year and the sign that he was coming out of depression.

Those rules didn't save his sanity but helped him survive a crippling illness.

Og

 

[carsonshepherd]

I was just guessing, I don't even think I know.

You just forgot because you obviously knew at one point considering how close your guess is.

Watch it, or I'm leaving pubic hair on your toilet seat next time I come over.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

You just forgot because you obviously knew at one point considering how close your guess is.

Watch it, or I'm leaving pubic hair on your toilet seat next time I come over.

*screams* Just don't read my magazines before I've read them. You know how I fucking hate that.

 

[Liar]

My ex was big on household rules. One of them was washing dishes under running water. The sink could not be filled with soapy water and the dishes washed and then rinsed in a tub. The tap had to be left running and each dish washed under the flow, with a squirt of soap. He was freaky about germs or something.

It was hard for me to do this after having water conservation ingrained into me by my dad. As soon as we split up, I went back to filling the sink.

Sure. Fill the sink. But at least you rinse in running water, right?

That's a house rule in my home. Unless there's a dishwasher (got one recently, woo) I do the dishes. Because everyone else seems to enjoy the taste of dried soap on their plates, from not rinsing properly.

When I was a kid, the kitchen was for making food and eating it. Social activity in there always was accompanied by at least coffee and bisquits. Or else it was the living room that was the place to be. You didn't just sit down by the kitchen table and read a book, or mom would walk by and say "Hungry again? We just had dinner!", and I had to explain the alien concept of "No thanks, mom. I'm just sitting."

 

[carsonshepherd]

Sure. Fill the sink. But at least you rinse in running water, right?

Um, yeah.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I love being an adult and being able to make my own rules. Shooting firearms is not allowed in my house, except at the TV.

Regarding "hooliganism," I remember news reports back in the days of the Evil Empire when political dissidents were accused of this and jailed. But I was never clear if the Stasi's or whichever Eastern European secret police actually used that term, or if it was a transalational "convention" adopted by the Western media.

 

[Whisky7up]

No opening umbrellas inside the house.

 

[Guest]

Four on the floor.

No tipping chairs back. No rocking in chairs. No leaning in chairs.
Dad would slam his four fingers on the table and we knew....
"FOUR ON THE FLOOR."
I think we leaned our chairs back on purpose just to see if he would do the four on the floor routine.
children are ebil

 

[CharleyH]

No tipping chairs back. No rocking in chairs. No leaning in chairs.
Dad would slam his four fingers on the table and we knew....
"FOUR ON THE FLOOR."
I think we leaned our chairs back on purpose just to see if he would do the four on the floor routine.
children are ebil

People like Og give good and honest opinions, silly you - What does that say?

 

[Whisky7up]

How many of us have adopted some of those parental rules though? Come on, be honest.
Now that it's us paying for furniture we don't want kids leaning chairs on two legs do we?

 

[BlackShanglan]

children are ebil

I lub when you're ebil!

Ogg, that's a moving story and well told. Thank you very much for sharing it.

 

[NoJo]

Marrying into a traditional Jewish family, I had to learn a helluva lot of house rules. In fact I'd characterise the practice of traditional Jewish faith as socialised OCD. Every aspect of home life is subject to rule and ritual, which I guess appeals to certain people. Your entire life is cushioned from choice by the knowledge that you can look it up in the Talmud. I can see why it appeals to Madonna, who likes to be tied up. Have any of you layed tiffilin? I thought not. Personally I refuse. I have many times ended up fuming with rage when subject to the petty house rules of my in-laws. Fortunately my wife and mother-in-law are more relaxed about these things.

Still, in my house,
You have to take off your shoes when you come in.
You use one set of plates and cooking utensils for dairy, another for meat.
You light candles every Friday evening, and cover your head.
You break bread and bless wine.

Most of the other "rules" of my house are just practical means of four people who share a confined space getting along and respecting each others privacy and needs.

 

[Liar]

Still, in my house,
You have to take off your shoes when you come in.

Ditto. I didn't even think of mentioning that, because in some countries, mine included, it's a natural part of the national decorum. It's one of those little things that is very useful to know when going to new places. Like Iceland, for instance. The only places you have your shoes on are outdoors and in public venues like shops and bars. An office? Lose the shoes. A hospital? Same thing. I happened to lose my wallet and passport when I was there once, and had to check in with the police and a bank. Both places, as soon as I was behind the reception or counter, it was shoes off.