After years of my husband asking, I finally started "cheating". It was hard. My confidence relies on my husband of 19 yrs (which I'm sure is wrong). I don't see myself like he does so it was hard getting going. I found a guy I liked. He was nice and funny and full of praise but the sex was "eh" at best but convenient. We started hanging more. I kept the "banter" to myself and shared the sexy parts. I know my husband looks at my phone and was fine with that because I wasn't "hiding " anything just didn't share. He explained this as "omitting the truth"... even tho it was all available on my phone. He doesn't tell me he looks at it but I know.
Anyway, last week I decided to stop seeing the same guy. Told my husband everything about it. Every feeling. I was fine. Just done. (Truthfully he seemed interested in a mutual friend and I suggested he go after her and his interest in her totally turned me off and I was done. Easy peasy no hard feelings or sadness or anything. It was fun now it's not. Done). I went out for a drink, called bf on my way to see how his date went. Phone wasn't working so I tried again. Phone was not working. I then deleted the calls. 1st time ever. Then ran into him at the bar. Shared a smoke and hung with the usual bar crew. Went home.
Now my husband says I lie and he can't trust me. I'm not really sure why I deleted the calls. I think it was so my husband didn't think I was harboring feelings but it did the opposite and I understand that completely.
I honestly felt the sexy parts was where his interest in hotwifing lied. Not the bs in between. I truly did everything my husband asked. Go out, tell him about it look sexy, make sure husband knows his place etc. I thought the idea of having a boyfriend was for me and that my "privacy" about it was the turn on in this while thing.
Now it's all fucked and I am feeling like our life is crashing down. Please share some advice on how to make it right again.
Anyway, last week I decided to stop seeing the same guy. Told my husband everything about it. Every feeling. I was fine. Just done. (Truthfully he seemed interested in a mutual friend and I suggested he go after her and his interest in her totally turned me off and I was done. Easy peasy no hard feelings or sadness or anything. It was fun now it's not. Done). I went out for a drink, called bf on my way to see how his date went. Phone wasn't working so I tried again. Phone was not working. I then deleted the calls. 1st time ever. Then ran into him at the bar. Shared a smoke and hung with the usual bar crew. Went home.
Now my husband says I lie and he can't trust me. I'm not really sure why I deleted the calls. I think it was so my husband didn't think I was harboring feelings but it did the opposite and I understand that completely.
I honestly felt the sexy parts was where his interest in hotwifing lied. Not the bs in between. I truly did everything my husband asked. Go out, tell him about it look sexy, make sure husband knows his place etc. I thought the idea of having a boyfriend was for me and that my "privacy" about it was the turn on in this while thing.
Now it's all fucked and I am feeling like our life is crashing down. Please share some advice on how to make it right again.
Last edited:
