Hot or Cold???

[Guest]

I have a flea collar and the posture of boiled shrimp...I'm there baby!!!

PMSL!!!!

 

[maggot420]

After this election I have accepted that too many America must have been so frightened by 911 that our citizens have asphyxiated their intellect with plastic sheeting and duct tape, and given up rational thought for the duration.

As a result, much like the early part of the previous century, the time has come to consider emigration. Only on this occasion, instead of immigrating TO America, now seems a good time to be emigrating FROM America.

My closest target is just next door, so I emailed my Canadian boyfriend for a list of possible employers that like Joe’s Bar & Grill & Bar might offer me employment.

Here is his response, which I have been pouring over.

The Landing Strip and the Airport Strip sounded much too noisy with all those jets coming and going.

The Brass Rail sounded a bit to transient for any but the most rudimentary of acts, while the Whiskey A-Go-Go to me indicates a crowd a trifle too alcoholic for the audience to be pay attention.

The Upper Brass sounds like a far too militaristic venue for my taste.

Caddy's suggested an outlet where I might have to keep on the lookout for gopher holes.

And Cheaters Tavern suggests much the same thing, only with disgruntled spouses substituting for gophers.

The French Connection did not connect, as I can speak only a smidgeon of grade twelve French.

As for Scanty's — there is something declasse in working in any establishment which has been named after somebody’s underwear.

Finally, there was the Zanzibar , but after John Brunner’s Hugo, I knew that it was not a place which I could ever stand on.


No, I haven’t given up on my Canadian boyfriend, but I am now Googling for strip clubs in Britain and Australia, as well.

Before you travel to far away from Canada, there is one more your b/f missed.
The Manor I think is classy enough for anyone with your obviously sophisticated tastes. Especially someone who's read Stand on Zanzibar...I loved that book.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Lou, can you get me a job as a pub owner out there???
Of course I don't plan on actually working, I just wanna stand around smoking and saying "Bollocks".

 

[Guest]

I just wanna stand around smoking and saying "Bollocks".

If I owned a pub I'd hire you just for that. P.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

If I owned a pub I'd hire you just for that. P.

 

[fifty5]

I have a flea collar and the posture of boiled shrimp...I'm there baby!!!

When you tire of the effete south, Abs, come up to Yorkshire and visit our closet.

Actually, there's a coupla spare rooms here, so shrimp imitations won't be Absolutely necessary, but do bring the flea collar - our 3 seem to have picked 'em up from somewhere... (but I hope that'll be sorted soon).



Eff

 

[ABSTRUSE]

When you tire of the effete south, Abs, come up to Yorkshire and visit our closet.

Actually, there's a coupla spare rooms here, so shrimp imitations won't be Absolutely necessary, but do bring the flea collar - our 3 seem to have picked 'em up from somewhere... (but I hope that'll be sorted soon).



Eff

Hell, I come there too........it's flea season all over I think.

 

[McKenna]

http://www.kynoch-douglas-parts.com/pics/articles/main/canadian-flag.jpg



I'm headed north to find me a mountie.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

http://www.kynoch-douglas-parts.com/pics/articles/main/canadian-flag.jpg



I'm headed north to find me a mountie.

You're going to get mounted....snicker.

 

[fifty5]

Hell, I come there too........it's flea season all over I think.

Just send me the date you'll arrive...

Eff

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Just send me the date you'll arrive...

Eff

soon as I rob the bank babe

 

[McKenna]

You're going to get mounted....snicker.

Yes, please.

Preferably by someone who looks like this:

http://www.hooglanderonline.com/duesouth.bmp

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Yes, please.

Preferably by someone who looks like this:

http://www.hooglanderonline.com/duesouth.bmp

You want to be mounted by a gay man???? is he a taxidermist?

edited to add. a one armed gay man.

 

[McKenna]

You want to be mounted by a gay man???? is he a taxidermist?

edited to add. a one armed gay man.

Come now, you're spoiling the illusion. I need a pick-me-up, especially after today.

 

[fifty5]

Yes, please.

Preferably by someone who looks like this:

http://www.hooglanderonline.com/duesouth.bmp

A Mounty?

RCMP?

Road Cases, Mainly Parking?

Ho hum....

Eff

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Come now, you're spoiling the illusion. I need a pick-me-up, especially after today.

Sorry can't find a picture of Dudley Do right....I'd pick you up but I just ate.

 

[McKenna]

How about this one, any better? I think it's the same guy, from that television series Due South. Nice dog, anyway. Wolf. Whatever.


http://www.compuserve.ca/cpeh/forums/arts/gfx/paulgross_mountie.jpg

 

[ABSTRUSE]

How about this one, any better? I think it's the same guy, from that television series Due South. Nice dog, anyway. Wolf. Whatever.


http://www.compuserve.ca/cpeh/forums/arts/gfx/paulgross_mountie.jpg

Better, much better..nice doggie.

 

[McKenna]

A Mounty?

RCMP?

Road Cases, Mainly Parking?

Ho hum....

Eff

You Brits have better accents, Eff. You don't have to dress up to get the women, just speak.

 

[McKenna]

Better, much better..nice doggie.

Yeah, I was afraid to type "I want this one to mount me." Too ambiguous with the dog there.


Ewwwwwww.


Bad joke McKenna, bad joke.

 

[fifty5]

You Brits have better accents, Eff. You don't have to dress up to get the women, just speak.

Speak.

Talk.

Chat.

Orate.

Mumble.

And you're still not here!

As I say so often: "Ho, hum..."



Eff

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Yeah, I was afraid to type "I want this one to mount me." Too ambiguous with the dog there.


Ewwwwwww.


Bad joke McKenna, bad joke.

Oh yes, I would have had a field day with that one...lol.